Activists want to wipe the Confederacy from our history

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Desdichado

Senior Member
Feb 9, 2014
8,768
843
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#41
Slavery was a large social component, but certainly not the flash-point of the Civil War.

Say there was a republic of beefland with two large cultural entities within- Cheeseburgerville and Hotdogville. Hotdogville believes in use of relish whereas Cheeseburgerville believes in solid pickles. Cheeseburgerville, being larger and more flavorful, has more raw economic power and attracts more condiments. Hotdogville doesn't have too many condiments, but they have a highly traditional society based around how they toast the buns and arrange the relish (bear in mind Cheeseburgerville still has use for pickles, but the use is less-pronounced).

Hotdogville tries to maintain some semblance of order, but it still can't attract the condiments. It brings more hot dog loving friends in. Cheeseburgerville perpetuates the overuse of relish by having the national capital slap a tax on perfectly charred buns against the will of Hotdogville's local legislators.

Hotdogville secedes and with it all things hotdogish are celebrated- tubed meat, diced onions, strange production methods, skin that pops when you bite into it on the Fourth of July, baseball, and RELISH.

Eventually the two states go to war. Yes, relish is tied with the charred bun tax, but relish and other pickle-related condiments is not the crux issue until later in the fight when the President of Beefland and the President of the Confederacy of Hotdogville decide it is a great cultural issue that will get the soldiers of Cheeseburgerville and Hotdogville to the field and foreign nations- the Kingdom of RC Cola and the Tossedsaladton are invested.

Relish may be evil to the point it was the original sin of Beefland. Relish may be an issue both sides claim to be the cause of the war. At the end of the day though, the nation split over a charred buns.

The lesson of the day my children is this- correlation is not causation. Particularly in the case of human interaction and affairs of governance and war.