Addicted to tears

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N

neyney

Guest
Tears like glass
Break through silence
Break in pieces
More releases
Of dark thoughts
And thunder storms
Like slimy worms
Shadows crawl inside my brain
They will just refresh my pain
Remind me of sweet bitter shame
Of addiction
I'm addicted to tears
My best friends are my fears
They have been since a few years
Maybe forever
Never getting better
But anyways it doesn't matter
People are getting mader
And sader
Depression is everywhere
Far and near
I can't hide away from it
But at least I'm not the only one seeking for truth
Or maybe everlasting youth?
No thanks
Not here in this broken world
Where only fake people get heard
Caught in my personal hell
Never hearing heavens' bell
Just this horribly depressing smell
Of alcohol and sadness
Too restless
To sleep but more to stay here
Or even near
Oh my God
Where are you?
Finally the sun comes out
Makes me see all this crowd
Jesus' crowd
I'm out
Of this bad luck
Hearts of ice are melting
And tears of glass are breaking
I'm saved
In grace
My soul burns in hope and not in fire
 
You need some loves
Jesus says come closer,
I love you with an everlasting love.

this is from Song of Solomon a parallel of our relationship with Jesus.

Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth:
for thy love is better than wine.


Draw me, we will run after thee:
the king hath brought me into his bed:
we will be glad and rejoice in thee,
we will remember thy love more than wine:
the upright love thee.

Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth,

And he says to YOU


O thou fairest among women, ... I have compared thee, O my love, ...
Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels,
thy neck with chains of gold.
We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver.

You say:
my aroma sendeth forth the smell thereof.
A bundle of myrrh is my wellbeloved unto me;
he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts.


He says to you:
Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes.
Behold, thou art fair, my beloved, yea, pleasant: also our bed is green.
The beams of our house are cedar, and our rafters of fir.

I am the rose of Sharon,
and the lily of the valleys.
As the lily among thorns,
so is my love among the daughters.

You say:
I sat down under his shadow with great delight,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
He brought me to the banqueting house,
and his banner over me was love.
noursich me with cakes, comfort me with apples:
for I am love sick, and in love.

His left hand is under my head,
and his right hand doth embrace me.
I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem,
by the roes, and by the hinds of the field,
that ye stir not up, nor awake my love,
till he please.

Later:
The voice of my beloved!
behold,
he cometh leaping upon the mountains,
skipping upon the hills.
My beloved is like a young deer.
behold, he standeth behind our wall,
he looketh forth at the windows,
showing himself through the lattice.

My beloved:
Rise up, my love,
my fair one,
and come away.
For, lo, the winter is past,
the rain is over and gone;
The flowers appear on the earth;
the time of the singing of birds is come,
and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;

The fig tree putteth forth her green figs,
and the vines with the tender grape
give a good smell.

Jesus beloved says to YOU:
Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.
O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock,
in the secret places of the stairs,
let me see thy countenance,
let me hear thy voice;
for sweet is thy voice,
and thy countenance is comely.


You say to Jesus your beloved:
My beloved is mine, and I am his:
he feedeth among the lilies.
Until the day break,
and the shadows flee away,
turn, my beloved,
and be thou like a deer upon the craggy mountains.

Later:
By night on my bed
I sought him whom my soul loveth:
I sought him,
but I found him not.
I will rise now,
and go about the city in the streets,
and in the broad ways
I will seek him whom my soul loveth:
I sought him,
but I found him not.


The watchmen
that go about the city
found me:
to whom I said,
Saw ye him whom my soul loveth?
It was but a little that I passed from them,
but I found him whom my soul loveth:
I held him,
and would not let him go,
until I had brought him
into my mother's house,
and into the bed of her that conceived me.

AFTER:
I charge you,
O ye daughters of Jerusalem,
by the roes,
and by the hinds of the field,
that ye stir not up,
nor awake my love,
till he please.


He says:
Thou art all fair, my love;
there is no spot in thee.
Come with me from Lebanon,
my spouse,
with me from Lebanon:
look from the top of Amana,
from the top of Shenir
and Hermon,
from the lions' dens,
from the mountains of the leopards.
Thou hast ravished my heart,
my sister,
my spouse;
thou hast ravished my heart
with one of thine eyes,
with one chain of thy neck.


How fair is thy love,
my sister,
my spouse!
how much better is thy love
than wine!
and the smell of thine ointments
than all spices!


Thy lips, O my spouse,
drop as the honeycomb:
honey and milk are under thy tongue;
and the smell of thy garments
is like the smell of Lebanon.


A garden enclosed is my sister,
my spouse;
a spring shut up,
a fountain sealed.
Thy plants are an orchard of pomegranates, with pleasant fruits; camphire, with spikenard,
Spikenard and saffron; calamus and cinnamon, with all trees of frankincense; myrrh and aloes, with all the chief spices:
A fountain of gardens, a well of living waters, and streams from Lebanon.

You say:
Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden,
that the spices thereof may flow out.
Let my beloved come into his garden,
and eat his pleasant fruits.

I am come into my garden, my sister, my spouse:
I have gathered my myrrh with my spice;
I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey;
I have drunk my wine with my milk:
eat, O friends;
drink, yea,
drink abundantly, O beloved.

Later:
I sleep, but my heart waketh:
it is the voice of my beloved that knocketh,
saying, Open to me, my sister, my love,
my dove, my undefiled:
for my head is filled with dew,
and my locks with the drops of the night.
I have put off my coat;
how shall I put it on?
I have washed my feet;
how shall I defile them?


My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door,
and my bowels were moved for him.
I rose up to open to my beloved;
and my hands dropped with myrrh,
and my fingers with sweet smelling myrrh,
upon the handles of the lock.


I opened to my beloved;
but my beloved had withdrawn himself,
and was gone:
my soul failed when he spake:
I sought him,
but I could not find him;
I called him,
but he gave me no answer.



The watchmen that went about the city found me,
they smote me, they wounded me;
the keepers of the walls
took away my veil from me.


I charge you,
O daughters of Jerusalem,
if ye find my beloved,
that ye tell him,
that I am lovesick, I am sick with love.


My beloved is white and ruddy,
the chiefest among ten thousand.
His head is as the most fine gold,
his locks are bushy,
and black as a raven.
His eyes are as the eyes of doves
by the rivers of waters,
washed with milk,
and fitly set.

His cheeks are as a bed of spices,
as sweet flowers:
his lips like lilies,
dropping sweet smelling myrrh.
His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires.
His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars.

His mouth is most sweet:
yea, he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved,
and this is my friend,
O daughters of Jerusalem.


He says about YOU:
There are threescore queens,
and fourscore concubines,
and virgins without number.

My dove,
my undefiled is but one;
she is the only one of her mother,
she is the choice one
of her that bare her.
The daughters saw her,
and blessed her;
yea, the queens and the concubines,
and they praised her.

Who is she that looketh forth as the morning,
fair as the moon, clear as the sun,
and terrible as an army with banners?


Return, return, O Shulamite;
return, return, that we may look upon thee.
What will ye see in the Shulamite?
As it were the company of two armies.

How beautiful are thy feet with shoes,
O prince's daughter!
How fair and how pleasant art thou,
O love, for delights!


You say:
I am my beloved's,
and his desire is toward me.
Come, my beloved,
let us go forth into the field;
let us lodge in the villages.



Let us get up early to the vineyards;
let us see if the vine flourish,
whether the tender grape appear,
and the pomegranates bud forth:
there will I give thee my loves.


His left hand should be under my head,
and his right hand should embrace me.
I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
that ye stir not up,
nor awake my love,
until he please.


Set me as a seal upon thine heart,
as a seal upon thine arm:
for love is strong as death;


Many waters cannot quench love,
neither can the floods drown it:
if a man would give all the substance of his house for love,
it would utterly be contemned.


Thou that dwellest in the gardens,
the companions hearken to thy voice:
cause me to hear it.

Make haste,
my beloved,
and be thou like young deer upon the mountains of spices.