it's gonna be okay. your parents are normal. my boyfriend and I comment on other people's beauty too. But I understand what you are going through, because I did have to get used to playing around in this way. I had to practice exploring and expressing my feelings and admitting them without fear. I had to listen to my boyfriend do the same and listen to him in faith while he was honest, without being threatened by fear and jealousy. To accomplish this, we both had to work on our character towards eachother, and express love to eachother, so that we could say these things in an atmopshere of established trust in each other that would link us in more ways than just this one situation. Personally, I like and am at peace with our being able to work through it. I feel very comfortable now, that I am a better person, and that I appreciate the beauty of others people more completley.
It does take getting used to thinking that way if you were not previously comfortable or not raised that way. Or if you feel that God doesn't understand the natural, healthy feelings He gave you or that your feelings are wrong or bad or can be annhilated somehow. But God totally understands exactly how you feel and is empathetic to your struggle and will bless you in your perseverence with understanding this particular issue.
Attraction is natural, and it is not so full blown that it is downright lust 99.9% of the time. It is a part of all of us, and it's going to be there weather or not we want to admit that these feelings are normal. Which makes us feel better, I think. Because everybody has those feelings, but if you think you are the only one you might feel so damned.
What's so wrong with attraction? It is the source of many good things, rarely anything even impolite, for I know I am more careful when in a state of attraction. I mean really. I have never felt when looking at a man an attraction that was some overpowering six perverse force that will control me and make me do bad psycho things. I can even go up and talk to the person, because I am in control. I don't have to be afraid or run away, but I embrace the feelings of attraction. It doesn't mean that I've just been unfaithful it actually means I just met a new friend and I can go out with them and enjoy being around them and looking at them all I want and still get to keep my boyfriend too, and maybe they will even be friends.
So I got attracted to someone who was not my boyfriend. I just liked them, wanted to be near them, know them, touch them. (And I can do all these things and more and still remain sexually faithful to my man.) Love, not lust, is 99 percent of attraction for most people. And sex is not 99.9 percent of a relationship. Attraction is a healthy feeling of appreciation for God's work and I just go with it. As deep as it goes. I form relationships with other men, but Steve knows I save the one thing for him. We aim for trust, we aim to have no jealously. I see someone I'm attracted to and I go talk to them, and sometimes I want to know them intimately and I do! on every level possible of all kinds of love, except for the one tiny fact that we don't "do it." Sex is such a small part of attraction, relationship, once you get out of your teens. It is pretty 2d. I could be more intimate with someone than my boyfriend, and still remain faithful sexually to him. If he doesn't satisfy me in some area say he hates my music, I'll go hook up with another man and enjoy it with him. That is friendship. In this way I am satisfied, and dont' have to demand that my partner be perfect in every way because someone else will be for me what he isn't. I dont' get demanding and needy of him since I have started seeing it like this. The one small thing I save for my partner, but I am in love with many people. Intimacy is a gift, and sex is just one of many beautiful forms it can take. There are so many others. Just as beautiful. And natural. Don't be afraid. God loves you no matter what and because of Jesus he doesn't see you as a sinner. He wants to help you find peace and understanding on this issue. . Explore love. God will be right with you, holding your hand. You will be rewarded when He reveals His truth about this matter to you in your own personal way just right for you. how exciting!
