Advice about poor choices/consequences

  • Thread starter Thread starter Jesusfannn11
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Jesusfannn11

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I need advice please. I will start off by saying that I am a Christian and I am a believer 100%. Recently I've noticed myself making choices that are not good for myself, my daughter and my marriage. I am scared and feel like I can't fully control the decisions I'm making and I don't know why, I know what I'm doing is wrong but I do it anyway. I went out to a bar the other night with my sister in law and I got very intoxicated, I was dancing with people and even had an argument with my sister in law over a family matter which was completely uncalled for. I normally don't go out and don't drink and I know it's wrong, when I was younger I almost ruined my life due to alcohol and the way I use to act while drinking. I need some advice please, I feel horrible that I've done what I've done and feel like I'm losing grip as far as my religion goes. I feel like I've broke my own heart due to my behavior and choices.
 
We're all accountable for our own decisions. It's convenient response to say we are not in control, and the bible indicates we have forces working against us (our flesh). But at the end of the day it's still your choice. You agreed to go to a bar. You agreed to drink. You agreed to keep drinking. Even with the knowledge of what your history with it is, you still made the choice. You were not controlled and forced against your will.
Fact is there is a part in all of us that wants t do what feels good now and forsake thinking about the consequences. But we have to resist that desire and learn and use wisdom so we can make choices that will make our lives better, not worse. Perhaps it's time to reevaluate what is important to you, in terms of fun, family, drinking, going out and following God. Chances are your priorities have changed without you realizing it.
 
As a Christian, it is more than just a belief in Christ. We make a choice to live for the Lord and not for ourselves any longer. You belong to Him. Romans 14:7 "None of us lives to himself". Make that real in your life.

It sounds like you are repentant - tell the Lord how you feel - and tell him aloud that you will now make a decision to follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit in all you do.

He has a plan for your life. And spiritual gifts to give you for the benefit of others.
 
I'm always nervous giving advice when all I know about a complex situation is a paragraph, so take or leave but my $0.02 are:

1) Stay away from the alcohol. Once you've got alcohol on board suppressing your prefrontal cortex's executive control functions, you really do lose control and do things you wouldn't otherwise do. That is disinhibitory effect is part of its danger.

2) If most of the time you can think "I don't want to do those things" but then when the opportunity presents you have a hard time maintaining resolve, then you've got a battle between the two halves of your brain in the Daniel Kahneman "Thinking Fast; Thinking Slow" book's sense. So the trick is to make choices when the slow/deliberate part of your brain is control that keep the fast/impulsive side from having the chance to make bad choices. If you know Friday night there might be an invitation to go out, then by Thursday have made some other plan for Friday so that you are not available. Sort of like Odysseus having his sailors tie him to the mast before approaching the Sirens.