Hello, just needed some advice. My boyfriend lied to me about three months ago that he was looking at other girls. He would also talk about how cute other girls are. Ever since I talked to him about he has been praying more and seems like he's been doing better. Don't know if I made a mistake staying with him?
Advice
- Thread starter abigails
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U
Because he broke your trust and you know you can't monitor him 24/7.
But, for me, that he would openly mention to you about finding other girls cute is more disturbing. This shows either a lack of awareness or concern for your feelings, indicating a lack of respect.
Whether you stay with him or not depends on whether he's able to regain your trust. If it's a newer relationship it may not be worth it to bother with him further. If it's an established relationship then it's more worth your time to give him a second chance.
If you do this you'll need to establish clear boundaries as to what exactly you find unacceptable. Everything from glances at other women to porn needs to be covered so he understands exactly what you require.
You'll also require giving him some basic trust until he's able to earn back your full trust.
I would imagine the shorter the relationship the higher chance of the relationship not working out in the long run. putting ultimatums on people early on is not a healthy start, but it's what's required
If you stay it's a risk. There's no way to remove the risk or to make it easier.
But, for me, that he would openly mention to you about finding other girls cute is more disturbing. This shows either a lack of awareness or concern for your feelings, indicating a lack of respect.
Whether you stay with him or not depends on whether he's able to regain your trust. If it's a newer relationship it may not be worth it to bother with him further. If it's an established relationship then it's more worth your time to give him a second chance.
If you do this you'll need to establish clear boundaries as to what exactly you find unacceptable. Everything from glances at other women to porn needs to be covered so he understands exactly what you require.
You'll also require giving him some basic trust until he's able to earn back your full trust.
I would imagine the shorter the relationship the higher chance of the relationship not working out in the long run. putting ultimatums on people early on is not a healthy start, but it's what's required
If you stay it's a risk. There's no way to remove the risk or to make it easier.
Relationships can be scary. Your guy may have been trying to test the relationship, not with the idea of leaving, but with the idea of testing if you are there. You talked to him and he is doing better. This says a lot. Just keep talking, trying to reach out to each other, and having fun together. Ask him what he wants. What do you want?
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L
Have you talked to him about how it makes you feel when he tells you how cute other girls are? I think you should tell him how it makes you feel. Then he will understand why it upsets you. Since he is doing better, I wouldn’t throw him away. Looking and commenting on other girls’ looks is a small thing.