Age

  • Thread starter Thread starter nukreation
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
N

nukreation

Guest
I met a girl on the weekend, she's 28 and I'm 41. We talked at a mutual friends party heaps with much laughs. She was fun and I really liked her, but I got to wondering if a 28 year old would go out with a 41 year old or if I'm kidding myself. I look heaps younger than I am, but still, that's like 13 years difference. Any thoughts?

Girls what would you do if you met a guy you liked but he was heaps older than you? Would you go out with him or would you steer clear?

Guys would you ask a girl out if she was heaps younger or would you smack your wrist for giving it a second thought and move on?
 
Interesting question, and a hard one for me to answer from experience, because I'm at the age where there is not much to date below my age group. Suffice to say, I avoid young girls like the plague and find myself attracted either to older women or women 20-21 who simply act older than the others.

That said.

13 years? By your time I would say that particular age difference doesn't matter. If she doesn't care, why should I? As long as you both are attracted to eachother for the right reasons, there is no cause for alarm from where I sit.

Actually let me rephrase that, by her age. It would be one thing if you asked a 22 year old out and another if you asked someone who is 28. A lot of growing up happens in those years, and by the time one is 28 they should be a solid adult willing to make their own decisions.

In short: go for it. Best of luck.
 
There is only one thing you need to consider and that is if the woman is old enough to have a mature relationship.

If the answer is yes then forget about the age difference, if you think she is old enough to have a mature relationship then she is also old enough to deal with the age difference and all the prejudiced attitudes you might encounter as a couple.
 
I'd ask the more important question... IS SHE A CHRISTIAN? Everything else is secondary.
 
I'd ask her if her family would accept you guys going out. If she thinks there's a chance they will, then go for it.
 
Thanks for you comments! Yes she's a christian. I find that my world view is just too different to a nonchristians to even consider that an option
 
13 years doesn't seem like all that huge an age difference, number-wise. If the two of you act a similar age and hit it off well, it shouldn't matter, right? :)

In some ways I am immature for my age, and behind other 25-year-olds, so for that reason I might hesitate going out with an older man who acted his age, even if I did find him really attractive. It wouldn't be out of the question though.

As for you I guess the only way you'll only know for sure if she would date you is if you ask her. =)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
A great many women actually prefer older men. A 28 year old woman should be settled enough to handle it. :)

All the best to the two of you!
 
i pride myself in the youngens ive dated. hi jullianna. go to sleep. i just realized your name has 2 l's.

in regards to the post, if you look good, stay in shape at 41 im sure most women 13 years younger wouldnt care. yes this is a shallow theory
 
JerryRice said:
i pride myself in the youngens ive dated. hi jullianna. go to sleep. i just realized your name has 2 l's. I tried sleeping, but this image kept popping into my head and I would wait up screaming in terror. Just realized it was your avatar. :D :p

in regards to the post, if you look good, stay in shape at 41 im sure most women 13 years younger wouldnt care. yes this is a shallow theory
Click to expand...

I tried sleeping, but this image kept popping into my head and I would wait up screaming in terror. Just realized it was your avatar. :D :p

In all honesty, I've met guys in their late 40s who were in better shape than a lot of guys in their 20s. But I really don't think that's what draws most women to older guys. I think it's the confidence they've gained and their having experienced interesting things to talk about.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Thanks! It was encouraging to get female perspectives too. I shall pursue :)
 
I would prefer to date someone my own age and it is only recently that I've considered dating someone younger than me.

For me dating above has been the norm.

I value wisdom and experience above most other things. I have a curious mind and I never want to stop learning, which lends itself to being vulnerable to someone who has lived longer than I have.

Also I don't ever want to steal from someone younger than me the ability to experience life on their own terms. I don't want to make someone feel as if because I have been around for a while that I don't want to be young anymore. I'm in no rush to abandon my dreams, settle down and just grow old.
 
NewCreation, The Lord leads. Everything else is relative, although age difference can lead to generational gaps. My opinion. And this, I think a generation is considered 15 years, so, you're on the edge of a broken heart (sure, sing a little Bon Jovi right now :D ) bu you are still staring down at the bottom of the cliff. The gap can be more too, my opinion, if you are 25+. I think girl , by then, out of college and mature enuf to make own decisions, but, let the Lord lead


So, I think by all this, the most important thing is letting the Lord lead. And, I agree with NEWmexicoSmile, no matter who you find attractive, one of the FIRST questions guy should ask girl is if she believes in God. You don't need to grill her at this point about denomination , etc, that's enough to know that you are in God's will of being equally yoked. :)
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Considering you're both in more mature stages (past early 20's) then it shouldn't be a problem. My parents had 15 years between them and it was never once a problem. Though, personally i try to keep in a range of 10 years younger to 5 years older. But if i met someone who was really amazing i'd push those boundaries a bit.
 
Peter321 said:
Haha i was reading this thread and that was all i was wondering too :3
Click to expand...

lol, the assumption here and in every thread about what you want in a wife usually is that the person is christian. you can safely assume when they say "girl or woman" they mean "christian girl or woman"
 
I would have dated someone 41 at 28, but I don’t know that I would date someone in their mid 50s now. It would depend upon the individual, perhaps it ALWAYS depends upon the individuals. I’m not sure we can make any hard and fast rules on the topic.

I am rarely approached by older men (or even most guys my own age), but often by men who are far younger. I think it’s because my age is a tough guess (thank you CC for making that so obvious; greatly appreciated more than I can say! Haha). Not sure why that is exactly, but it is what it is. My concern about dating someone considerably older would most likely have to do with how active they are. I’m not ready to stay at home and crochet (I guess I’d better learn how to do that at some point..) while hubby dearest snoozes away in the recliner in front of the tv all night. :D

In becoming involved with someone much younger, there would be several things to consider:
1. I have a 19 y/o son. Can a younger guy deal with that? How would my son deal with that (not that he gets the final say, but it IS a consideration)?
2. Younger guys, and even some ladies, don’t think they want kids, but what if they change their minds down the line and the older man/woman either can’t do that or may not share that desire at that point in their lives?
3. Life experience. As Liamson said, it’s important to enjoy life to the fullest while you can. I wouldn’t want to stifle that sense of adventure in anyone, even though I’ve never outgrown it myself. J And I’ve learned recently that it is a very bad idea to grow to care for someone who is far more innocent in the ways of the world than I am.
 
You actually gave me some very good ideas to contemplate on, Jullianna. I have been debating Nukreation's question for quite a while now because I had a guy that was 35 talk to me for a while and he was absolutely sweet, Christian, etc. I just wasn't sure about the age difference - you all gave me some insight, too, thank you!
 
God bless, CHC. I think it's an issue we all have to ponder at some point in singledom, huh? :)

LOVE the Irish blessing too, my Irish sis <3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back