Allow me to Paint a Picture.... Its Long... Fair warning.

[Liamson]

Imagine for a Moment the kind of person you would want to spend the rest of your life with. Imagine their character, their heart, their wisdom, their intelligence, their drive, their capacity for Compassion, their Relationship with Christ and their Depth.



Look inside yourself, take note of everything that you believe is beautiful, to the very depths of your soul. Every painting, movie, book, and picture that moves you, every note of every song that has ever quickened your heart or deepened the way you experience God, every deep poem that has powerfully seized you and left you wiser than previous, and then imagine that the the kind of person you want to spend the rest of your life with Values all these things the same way that you do.




Now examine your Relationship with Christ, remember the pits and traps that he has dragged you out of, remember the victories that He has blessed your life with, remember the way that you pray and that you know He is your life and your light, remember how Long and How far He has been with you, Remember the pain you feel when you leave His side momentarily. Now imagine that the person you would want to spend the rest of your life with is living in the Same Faith, with the same History and the same Savior that You have Trusted, they do also.



Now Imagine that you encounter this person, That they in fact do exist. You are able to share your dreams, your hopes, your time and and your faith with them. Now they see all that you have in common and they love everything that you love.




But even if they are every bit of the person that you could have ever imagined, what makes you think that you are the same to them?


Does your life represent the things that you find most beautiful or is there something else that isn't really who you are apart of how you know yourself?


Are you in pursuit of your dreams and the things that move you? Are you driven to live up to the goals that you hide in your heart? Are you living a life that best represents the core of your conscience?


Are you someone that someone you are looking for, is going to even give the time of day?





What if you are Rejected by the very Person you have waited your whole life for?



I grew up with someone very close to me, we were very good friends, went on amazing adventures and just in general were pretty cool. As we got older our lives drifted apart. I was a clever boy who was always getting into trouble and she was a gifted girl with dreams of traveling the world as a Medical Missionary Doctor. In High school I was forced to go to Military school for the trouble I had caused, I graduated early with a couple of scholarships but, it was nothing too special. She was our Valedictorian. As Adults we had discussed Dating and taken a good 4 weeks to spend together, I was in the Navy working on Nuclear Missiles and She was in Medical School. During this 4 week period it was as if we were Children all over again, every moment seemed to last forever, every song, every word, every bit of it was Special yet, in her infinite wisdom, she could not see in me what I saw in her. I was reckless, irresponsible, prideful, lawless, irreverent to any and all titles and authority figures, yet I still believed in Love and in Faith and in God. In fact God is to this day the only consistently revered thing in my life.

In growing up with her, she had painted my entire world. Her dreams had become my own, her faith shaped my faith, her depth was the origins of my depth, and my recklessness was her courage, my irresponsibility was her vacation. But my pride was her kryptonite and my lawlessness was simply intolerable. These were parts of me that were not part of my dream, I did not want them to be in my life, to be representative of my Character but, they were and to its undoing. Though as an Adult, I can realize that eventually she blossomed into a really controlling and manipulative person, and I probably dodged a bullet, I do not forget for a moment how it felt. To be in love, to be weighed measured and found wanting; utterly rejected.


I've pretty much always been a Recklessly Ambitious person. I will do whatever it takes to accomplish what I set my focus on but, much like the Genie from Aladdin, I can't make someone fall in love. I can only hope that they see in me, all the hope and joy that I find in them. I have more than once sold everything I own for what I believed to be a pearl of great price, but there is only one treasure worth everything and He does not share power.


I don't know that I have a question that can turn this thread into a conversation but, should you find yourself falling in love with someone take a hard look in the mirror at the person looking back at you. Are they worthy enough to pursue the people they admire most?

Do not be like Grima Wormtongue. Simply content with your character to stalk from the shadows the object of your affection until such finite opportunity arises for you to pounce like a cowardly hyena, seizing at the weakness you might find in them the timely words to gather their favor. This world is full of cowards, and wretched liars. If you love someone go and claim their heart. Be bold and state that you like them, that you admire them for their virtue and that you have every intention of pursuing them. If they are all that you see in them, nothing less than your all will be "Good Enough"


You belong to Christ, there is no shame in your faith. You are redeemed Creature who is a citizen of Heaven. You have been bought by the Blood of God Himself. Stand and take your place in light and leave the darkness behind you, all of it. Whatever in your life that is dedicated to destruction in any way, burn it to the ground. For it is better to Enter the Kingdom of Heaven without a hand an eye or a foot, that to be rejected utterly for clinging to some small evil. We serve a Gracious and Merciful God, who is both understanding and Just. Seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him. Narrow is the way and there are few who make it.


May God have mercy on us all.

 

[Ritter]

Well-written and insightful as always.

I can relate quite a bit. There are times I wonder whether I found the right woman and was simply not good enough for her. It hurts, but it is these wounds that remind us to live life with honor.

What I do know is that odds are I'll come in contact with a girl like her one day. When I do, I'll be exemplary or try my best to be so at any rate.

As for you question. That person in the mirror has to measure up. If you live in constant self-doubt, you will be found worthy of nobody save the very desperate.

 

[Liamson]

I took the opposite direction, to live a deliberately dishonorable life, by virtue of Sour Grapes.


I thought that if I ran away far enough into sin, and life experience, I would never again feel the urge to pursue what is honorable just or noble. That by some irreversible reprobation, I could lose the drive to believe that I could win her heart rightfully.

Like getting a big ugly, tattoo on my forehead, I wanted the world to know that I didn't care.

That without Hope I would somehow be free of the Pain that comes with not measuring up to the dreams which I held closest to my heart.





But God had other ideas, and He reminded me that No person can replace the Paragon of Virtue that is Christ. He is our Example, our measure and our Salvation. He is the source of all true Depth, Wisdom and Life. If you are reading this, He has not rejected you, and there is no one's opinion to consider greater than the Lord's.

Its not too late, and we are never too far Gone for the Redemption of a Truly repentant heart.

 

[gene77]

Liamson, I've been through something similar to what you have, and there was a time in my life where I thought that I would never be able to love another person, as much as I loved that man. I was wrong. I believe that God does give us the ability to love again. And, the love I have for the man in my life now, is nothing compared to young love I had before. This is so much more stronger, more mature, and pure. And, the best part of it is that he loves me back, equally. For all that I am.
God is full of love, and He wants us to love too. Your time will come again. Till then, prepare yourself for her. =)

Remember this: The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others on how you demand to be treated. Don't settle for anything other than respect.

God bless you, my friend.

 

[Jullianna]

I've always liked the way you hold a brush, Sir

 

[SeatBelt]

looking back at who I was and who the person I married turned out to be, I am convicted to speak thus: Despite how many miles of growth I have on my growthomoter in the past 4 years, I simply am too far from who I want to be to be ready to consider anything other than focusing on being the best Christian father and best me that I can be. Somedays I doubt even my own qualifications to be their dad, but I know that there is no one more suited for the job than me and can cite evidence of Him growing me to the task. From time to time over the past year, I have had the privileged to bump into a few Fantastic Christian women. I count myself fortunate to realize that it is not that God was trying to introduce me to the next Mrs. SeatBelt, but rather God brought them along when I needed the reminder and encouragement. "SeatBelt, there is good in the world." "SeatBelt there are Godly women out there." "SeatBelt, there are many good arguments for continued growth and development." "SeatBelt, you can do better, now let me help and we can work on that together." and so on.

Jullianna is right, you hold a fair brush. I wonder if you could still paint with such detail on a larger scale.

 

[Liamson]

I'm not sure what larger scale you would be referring to. Like a more broad scope or a story or something?


I'm not terribly positive but, Ironically enough, I made this thread because I was almost captivated by the idea of someone.


Once upon a time I had a friend in my life, that simply appeared. She made herself at home in my life, rather nonchalantly. And invited me with warm enthusiasm into her life as well. Like something that only happens in Movies like Garden State, there was no chase scene, no terms of endearment and no wooing of affection. We simply were and comfortably so. We weren't dating anyone else and we spent most of, if not all of our free time together.

I had no high ideals as to what she was suppose to be, because she simply was.

I had no need to chase her or run her down with enthusiastic passion to overcome resistances because, we were more interested in Belonging than creating obstacles.



I thought for a split minute that I had stumbled into another such relationship but, my conscience felt like a knife in my ribs. I couldn't put my finger on what was wrong or why I felt to unsettled. Then I realized that I can't get too close like I did before because its not the same, or even close to the same. In fact no two relationships are. But If this new one played itself out there was no way for it to end well.

Simply being beautiful, smart, deep and a Christian is not enough for me.

It is not that I want more, it is that I want it to be uncompromised. So its not about the ideals, its about what the capacity for the relationship could be. If you get to the end of the road, is this person going to be your best friend, are they going to be okay with being in your life as much as you are okay with being in theirs, Is there are a fair amount of give and take possible, Is their heart free to fall at all?

The price and the prize have to be consistent with the ability to succeed. If the Grand prize means having to share someone with someone else and the Price is an arm and a leg, then no. And it doesn't matter how amazing they seem, that compromise will eventually seep into my soul and it is simply a burden that I cannot bear.

 

[GreenNnice]

Not long enough.

Beautifully written.

Don't ever quit following Him, liamsON, never, ever, never see His way for your life's plans are 'great' ways, just go with all glory, power, honor going to God. And love. Hmmm, ahh, yes, 'that,' in His timing, the most beautiful kind of irresistible love toward another comes to you, as you pray ceaselessly for, no, not love, but, what Jesus prayed for as He knelt and prayed in the Garden Of Gethsemane, as He sweated ”drops of blood” from His brow, knowing full well the hour was about come for Him to quit being treated so kindly, so awestruckingly by the people. Imagine that! One week before Jesus was crucified, humiliated, to so dying, He,was paraded on a donkey, palms laid down. People cheering, ”Messiah!”
Then, one week later, dead.

But, the words, the words Jesus spoke to His Dad up in Heaven, as Jesus' man inside His divineness soo wanted NOT to go through crucifixtion, were words that I want you now, brother Liam, to resonate inside you as you prepare yourself for a someone IF He so allows into your heart like the 'blessed' easy time of relationship that grace befelled you long ago.

”Not my will but Thy will be done, Father.”

The power of God is great, why were you attracted to that 'love' long ago? God?

What you had before can be yours again, go faith fully forward in believing in His best for you, and, delight yourself in Him, He, therefore, will.give you the desires of your heart. Whatever desires are in there, deep, locked, clenching in pafient time, those things will release , God knows us infinitely better than anyone else, including, most assuredly, than we know ourselves.