This is yet another example of how our country has slacked off. If us guys can't even open a door or do something simple for women or even the elderly we are selfish! The fact that men have to be "Macho" is so stupid.
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Mands
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christiancollegegirl
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Most of my guy friends treat me like one of the guys. I don't really mind, but it's nice when someone treats me like a lady.
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pinkstix56
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blindside683
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I always try to hold doors, and if she asks, i'll her carry bags...so I think i'm on the right track....just not perfect, but i'll do almost anything she asks.
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Moll_y
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I've always found this topic to be interesting. I think it's a lovely gesture when guys hold doors, open car doors, etc. I also have feminist friends who insist that their "female pride" is wounded and killed any time a man does these things for them.
My questions for "feminists":
How much is too much? When a guy (say a bell hop, or someone whose actual job it is) helps you with luggage at a hotel. Do you refuse, simply because it is a male? Do you say yes to help out with your groceries when it's a female bagger, but not a male? I'm not saying anyone who thinks this way is wrong, I just don't understand.
My questions for guys:
Do you know how difficult this is to think about on a date? If we expect you to open doors for us, you may think we're stuck up. But if you try to open doors for us and we can't figure out what you're doing because we've been treated rudely by so many other guys, you may think we're stuck up. Or a feminist.
Here's my perfect scenario:
When on a date with a guy, we pull up to wherever we happen to be getting out of the car, let's say, a fancy restaurant (a girl can dream, right?
) and the guy turns and says "I'd like you to wait here so I can open your door for you, if that's alright."
Because guys, you may not know what to do, but we know just as little about what you're going to do.
My questions for "feminists":
How much is too much? When a guy (say a bell hop, or someone whose actual job it is) helps you with luggage at a hotel. Do you refuse, simply because it is a male? Do you say yes to help out with your groceries when it's a female bagger, but not a male? I'm not saying anyone who thinks this way is wrong, I just don't understand.
My questions for guys:
Do you know how difficult this is to think about on a date? If we expect you to open doors for us, you may think we're stuck up. But if you try to open doors for us and we can't figure out what you're doing because we've been treated rudely by so many other guys, you may think we're stuck up. Or a feminist.
Here's my perfect scenario:
When on a date with a guy, we pull up to wherever we happen to be getting out of the car, let's say, a fancy restaurant (a girl can dream, right?
) and the guy turns and says "I'd like you to wait here so I can open your door for you, if that's alright."Because guys, you may not know what to do, but we know just as little about what you're going to do.
Here's my perfect scenario:
When on a date with a guy, we pull up to wherever we happen to be getting out of the car, let's say, a fancy restaurant (a girl can dream, right?
weeeeeeeeell see that's where i draw the line. i would open a car door for a girl when we're getting in to the car from outside, but i wouldnt tell her to sit there while i get out, walk around to the other side of the car and then open it. i think that's a bit patronising. if i'm gonna go that far i might as well feed her her food when we get inside the restaurant so she doesn't have to use a fork.
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missy2shoes
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christiancollegegirl
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Jennifleur
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I appreciate the chivalrous gestures, and I have at times been surprised by them because it is so rare now. But as Sharp pointed out, there's a difference between being polite and being patronizing. But I think it's very nice to have doors held open, chairs pulled out, things carried for me, etc. It makes me feel special, which I think is the point of those kinds of gestures in the first place.
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Tootles_1
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I have two diff experiences for this exact thing:
1) A guy I asked to Sadie Hawkins my senior yr of high school held doors open and all that. But it was because he was looking for something "special" from me in return.
2) A group of people from my church went to lunch one Sunday. When our tabs came my lunch was included on his. I asked how much I owed him and he said "I got it." I asked again and he repeated himself. I asked a third time and he said much more emphatically "Tiffany, I have it. Put your purse down."
I liked experience #2 better.
1) A guy I asked to Sadie Hawkins my senior yr of high school held doors open and all that. But it was because he was looking for something "special" from me in return.
2) A group of people from my church went to lunch one Sunday. When our tabs came my lunch was included on his. I asked how much I owed him and he said "I got it." I asked again and he repeated himself. I asked a third time and he said much more emphatically "Tiffany, I have it. Put your purse down."
I liked experience #2 better.
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Taz81
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This is an issue I think that is just never going to be solved in this day and age, sadly...for me, I personally don't EXPECT a guy to open the door etc for me, but if he does - it is both appreciated and accepted humbly, I don't see him as doing something like that because he thinks I can't..
...and I hold the door open for males and female - if I am walking in front of someone into a store and they are right behind me - it would be rude to let the door close on them, sometimes I have gone through first (because it is a 'push' door not a 'pull' one lol), but I hold it open until they walk through. I don't always get a thank you - but I don't do it for recognition either. I always remember to smile and say thanks when it is done for me.
It comes totally down to manners... and some people have very little today - as a teacher, I am appalled at some of the attitude and behaviour of kids these days and I am scared for the future when they are the adults... what examples will the next generation have??? Manners aren't hard to use, and not hard to teach - so I'm stumped for why they are lacking so much in society today!
...and I hold the door open for males and female - if I am walking in front of someone into a store and they are right behind me - it would be rude to let the door close on them, sometimes I have gone through first (because it is a 'push' door not a 'pull' one lol), but I hold it open until they walk through. I don't always get a thank you - but I don't do it for recognition either. I always remember to smile and say thanks when it is done for me.
It comes totally down to manners... and some people have very little today - as a teacher, I am appalled at some of the attitude and behaviour of kids these days and I am scared for the future when they are the adults... what examples will the next generation have??? Manners aren't hard to use, and not hard to teach - so I'm stumped for why they are lacking so much in society today!
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buckeyegirl700
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I think it is polite when men open doors for women. I would not be mad if a man opened doors for me, I would think he was a true gentlemen.
Come on ladies, opening a door is not like opening a jar of pickles where the lid is on too tight. Most doors are easy to open these days. I believe this custom started a few centuaries ago when the dresses women wore were too big to even fit through the door let alone let the lady get close enough do the door to open it.
If she's driving, do you have to go around to her side and open up the door for her?
Automatic doors - bit of a problem there. Do you stand on the sensor light so she doesn't get trapped?
If she's driving, do you have to go around to her side and open up the door for her?
Automatic doors - bit of a problem there. Do you stand on the sensor light so she doesn't get trapped?
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ChristopherMichael
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I once stopped dating a girl because after I'd open unlock her door at the car, she wouldn't lean over and unlock mine! I mean, seriously, manners work both ways here.
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Leilanii
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ChristopherMichael
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The point is that it's showing that the man (or woman) is looking out for you. Little signs that you, and your well being, are on the other person's mind.
- Topher
- Topher
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koklcindy
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I feel appreciate when some guy hold the doors for me.
If he do that, I respect him as a gentleman.
Surly, I will always take care of him, just like a cup of ice coffee. ^^
If he do that, I respect him as a gentleman.
Surly, I will always take care of him, just like a cup of ice coffee. ^^