Alone & Struggling

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chynna

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i've been single for 7years... it's been my struggle. i've stopped masturbating & watching porn for a year now... & now i feel lonely & struggling again. & i thought of justifying it just like how i thought about it in the past. thinking that it's not a sin so long as you don't do it lustfully (thinking of someone else while doing it) but instead it's a gift from God since you're able to find pleasure with it & you don't even have to sin and engage yourself to premarital sex... so yeah, i'm struggling again. what do i do now? i feel bad about myself but i just can't help it.
 
Hello Chynna, i'll pray for you to overcome your temptations. As the scriptures tells us in Thessalonians, Abstain from all appearance of evil. I understand your desire of the flesh many in the body of christ struggle with the same. Tell God about how you want to stop but find it difficult to. Ask for his help & he will assist you through it. As stated in Proverbs, trust in the lord with all your heart & lean not on your understanding. The lord sees everything & knows what you are going through bring your burdens to him & he will give you rest.
 
Many things you can do. Here's some things that have helped me:
Find people you can talk to honestly about this issue, your feelings, your fears, anything. Build a support group. Loneliness is the main reason you're returning to porn.

Replace porn with caring people &God.
Dedicate lots of time for prayer, meditation/ meditating in the Word of God, reading the bible. You can also view YouTube videos on the topic, read books, listen to speakers, many are recommended in these forums.

Investigate deeper reasons behind your loneliness &use of porn. There are very likely contributing issues you have not faced. Consider seeing a counselor about these issues. But don't consider it a replacement for your path in Christ, it's only a supplement to help you be in a place where you're able to be of service to others. Pray to be strong enough to be of service to God.
 
chynna said:
i've been single for 7years... it's been my struggle. i've stopped masturbating & watching porn for a year now... & now i feel lonely & struggling again. & i thought of justifying it just like how i thought about it in the past. thinking that it's not a sin so long as you don't do it lustfully (thinking of someone else while doing it) but instead it's a gift from God since you're able to find pleasure with it & you don't even have to sin and engage yourself to premarital sex... so yeah, i'm struggling again. what do i do now? i feel bad about myself but i just can't help it.
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1 Corinthians 9:26-27[SUP]26 [/SUP]I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: [SUP]27 [/SUP]but I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
 
chynna said:
i've been single for 7years... it's been my struggle. i've stopped masturbating & watching porn for a year now... & now i feel lonely & struggling again. & i thought of justifying it just like how i thought about it in the past. thinking that it's not a sin so long as you don't do it lustfully (thinking of someone else while doing it) but instead it's a gift from God since you're able to find pleasure with it & you don't even have to sin and engage yourself to premarital sex... so yeah, i'm struggling again. what do i do now? i feel bad about myself but i just can't help it.
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Just stop, it's all about your will and your determination to stop.

You may fail yes, and we have forgiveness for that as Jesus died on the cross for our sins. But you must not go out of the way to do it and must try to not do it if you can.

The secret to breaking the code is your will and determination to stop. Focus on other things, keep busy. Read, play games, study, go out, football, work out, whatever. Keep distracted, do stuff to enjoy your life instead of focusing on the negative. Focus on making your life happy, because you sound lonely. So go out, join sport clubs, reading clubs, language clubs or whatever. Travel, see your country, see the world. Do whatever, into making your life happier is the 1st step. Then it's all about a matter of will if you will break this sinful habit or not.
 
Masturbation is a sin.. You're sinning against your own body. We were not meant to give ourselves sexual pleasure. Basically you're having sex with yourself. You cannot justify sin. ANY sin.



chynna said:
i've been single for 7years... it's been my struggle. i've stopped masturbating & watching porn for a year now... & now i feel lonely & struggling again. & i thought of justifying it just like how i thought about it in the past. thinking that it's not a sin so long as you don't do it lustfully (thinking of someone else while doing it) but instead it's a gift from God since you're able to find pleasure with it & you don't even have to sin and engage yourself to premarital sex... so yeah, i'm struggling again. what do i do now? i feel bad about myself but i just can't help it.
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OwzK said:
Just stop, it's all about your will and your determination to stop.

You may fail yes, and we have forgiveness for that as Jesus died on the cross for our sins. But you must not go out of the way to do it and must try to not do it if you can.

The secret to breaking the code is your will and determination to stop. Focus on other things, keep busy. Read, play games, study, go out, football, work out, whatever. Keep distracted, do stuff to enjoy your life instead of focusing on the negative. Focus on making your life happy, because you sound lonely. So go out, join sport clubs, reading clubs, language clubs or whatever. Travel, see your country, see the world. Do whatever, into making your life happier is the 1st step. Then it's all about a matter of will if you will break this sinful habit or not.
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The bible says we can't do it on our own, so it's not all about our will & determination. We require God, prayer, help from others. The other things you mentioned are good supplements to that. There's a risk of people becoming more despondent if they're told it's all about their will. They can feel like failures with no hope. We all need God and others.
 
Guysayshi said:
The bible says we can't do it on our own, so it's not all about our will & determination. We require God, prayer, help from others. The other things you mentioned are good supplements to that. There's a risk of people becoming more despondent if they're told it's all about their will. They can feel like failures with no hope. We all need God and others.
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Exactly, that's why you're supposed to get help from God and talk to God, but for something as simple and small as masturbation? There is no reason why a person couldn't stop that alone. It's not like a drug addiction or anything major.
 
chynna said:
i've been single for 7years... it's been my struggle. i've stopped masturbating & watching porn for a year now... & now i feel lonely & struggling again. & i thought of justifying it just like how i thought about it in the past. thinking that it's not a sin so long as you don't do it lustfully (thinking of someone else while doing it) but instead it's a gift from God since you're able to find pleasure with it & you don't even have to sin and engage yourself to premarital sex... so yeah, i'm struggling again. what do i do now? i feel bad about myself but i just can't help it.
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This is why Paul says for some its better to marry because some cannot handle being single. Sounds like you may want start to find a mate and try to start a relationship. A relationship for love not lust. Love will solve those lonely feelings and marriage will solve those lustful feelings.

The temptations may not ever go away but this is why you may want to treat yourself like a child and set parental controls on electronics, get rid of anything tempting, and study real hard on what God has to say about abusing what God made to be private between a man and a woman.

God will definitely help you feel condemned and also remember the porn industry is very corrupted and evil using peoples bodies to make money and also feeding the sex trafficking of underage kids. Not saying you was watching underage kids but just imagen where your money or your free viewing only helps the site make money off of how many adds pop up and are saw. For all you know they may be funding on the side real illegal activities.

Its very sad and every cent that goes to pornography helps feed the desire to please the consumers of this industry. As long as people are addicted to porn and the need and want is there. Bad people will not just stop at using adults but also people of all ages.
 
OwzK said:
Exactly, that's why you're supposed to get help from God and talk to God, but for something as simple and small as masturbation? There is no reason why a person couldn't stop that alone. It's not like a drug addiction or anything major.
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Masturbation is commonly and very easily an addiction. What authority are you on the topic, personal opinion? It's well documented that many people are addicted to masturbating to porn. It directly accesses the chemicals responsible for addiction and its manifestation in brain chemistry mimics drugs such as cocaine or heroin. States have called it an epidemic. It's a very real problem all parts of society, including Christians. Your statements can really hurt people, be careful inducing more guilt &shame to people already believing in it. We should reject it in the name of Christ, reject the shame. It is a creation of the Liar. "Christ despised the shame".
Just because you can't relate doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Do some research, see for yourself.
 
@OwzK
Excuse me, but please be more considerate next time before you respond to someone. When somebody asks for help it is not the environment to act a hero because you don´t battle with the same struggles.

@Chynna
I pray God guides you through this.
 
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I'd have to disagree. If you can't stop doing it, then it IS an addiction.. And as with any addiction, this person needs God's help to overcome it.. :)


OwzK said:
Exactly, that's why you're supposed to get help from God and talk to God, but for something as simple and small as masturbation? There is no reason why a person couldn't stop that alone. It's not like a drug addiction or anything major.
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I'm sorry to hear that, you are not alone. A lot of people struggle with pornography and loneliness. I will be praying for you to overcome this and I'm sure others here on cc will to. Don't lose heart!
 
OMG if somehow you managed to stop doing all those things, I think you are a greatest man who can control anything and have the self control. Now the thing is that if you do not want live a life of sin you should get married and I you cant than you should just wait. Maybe God have other plans for you that would be much better. And there is tip for you never sit free without doing any work. Always try to do some work so you dont even have enough time to think about it.
 
Dude seriously? I think thats the most addictive thing ever. Are you a girl? Or you never have masturbated?
 
Dude seriously? I think thats the most addictive thing ever. Are you a girl? Or you never have masturbated?
 
Oh no! By no means am I at all perfect. I still struggle with temptation and lust and the desires of the flesh. Jesus is the only man to live a sinless life and overcome all temptations. Never give up! Even if you sin or mess up over and over again continue to make a habit of going to God for forgiveness for the scriptures say, But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 1 john 1:9 hope that helped.
 
I think you work hard all day or if you have a normal job then go to gym after work you wont be able to think of masturbating at all. This how I got rid of this habit you should try it once too.
 
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