One day I was visiting with a psychologist to discuss an anxiety attack and bout of depression I had been fighting for a short period. Having worked around health professionals, I knew most of the standard questions they all seemed to ask. As no great breakthrough seemed to be coming through our conversation, I began to feel it was a waste of time. In the midst of the conversation though, he asked me something that at first shocked me. “Are you mad at anyone?” seemed like a simple question, and my response was an automatic, “No!”
As soon as I responded, a thought entered my mind. “Yeah, I’m mad at someone. I’m mad at God for letting me go through this!” screamed within me. I knew where the thought was coming from. I had many times cried out in frustration wanting rid of the anxiety attacks. Then a thought entered my head that now seems laughable. As I sat there, I began to think if only God could feel just a little bit of the pain I suffered during those panic attacks. Now, that thought lasted just a few seconds when the absurdity of it became evident.
How ridiculous is that? Really! I mean only if God understood what I was going through? He absolutely understood what I was going through. In fact, He went to the Cross and endured the pains of the world so I wouldn’t have to go through it. Even at those moments when it feels like no one understands, He does. He’s already been there.
I don’t think God is worried by my moment of anger. I think it is like any parent whose child gets mad when they don’t understand the reasons behind their parents’ decisions. Like most children, I don’t always see God’s big picture. Though it is a comfort to know that even when I think no one understands, God sends me a reminder that He has already been through it, and He will bring me through it too.
As soon as I responded, a thought entered my mind. “Yeah, I’m mad at someone. I’m mad at God for letting me go through this!” screamed within me. I knew where the thought was coming from. I had many times cried out in frustration wanting rid of the anxiety attacks. Then a thought entered my head that now seems laughable. As I sat there, I began to think if only God could feel just a little bit of the pain I suffered during those panic attacks. Now, that thought lasted just a few seconds when the absurdity of it became evident.
How ridiculous is that? Really! I mean only if God understood what I was going through? He absolutely understood what I was going through. In fact, He went to the Cross and endured the pains of the world so I wouldn’t have to go through it. Even at those moments when it feels like no one understands, He does. He’s already been there.
I don’t think God is worried by my moment of anger. I think it is like any parent whose child gets mad when they don’t understand the reasons behind their parents’ decisions. Like most children, I don’t always see God’s big picture. Though it is a comfort to know that even when I think no one understands, God sends me a reminder that He has already been through it, and He will bring me through it too.