Any advice?!

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falling_leaves75

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There's this girl that I like, and we go to church together. She's a bit younger than me, 18, but incredibly nice and mature, and I like her a lot. She's in her last year of school, whilst i go to uni...

We always have nice conversations after church, occasionally send eachother text messages to wish eachother good luck for exams, but that's it. It's a great friendship, but, only a friendship.

I've liked her for quite a while now, pretty much since the beginning of the year, but I haven't told her how I feel, or really done anything about it to be honest.

I guess I'm afraid that if I tell her how i feel it will make things really uncomfortable between us. I've had experiences like this in the past, where great friendships have faded away as a consequence. I don't think that she'd push me out of her life or anything, she's not like that, but naturally it could 'awkwardise' our friendship... and we might not be as close as we were

I've prayed and thought a lot about it. But i'm at a point in the road, so to speak, and i don't know whether i should turn left or right... On the one hand i'm so grateful that God has blessed me with such an amazing friend, but on the other hand part of me wants more than a friendship wither her

Her end of school/uni entrance exams are next month, and they finish in november, so i think that i should at least wait until then before i do anything (if i do anything). I don't want to stress her out anymore than she would already be with all her exams...

Any advice?? I'm friends with her sister too, and we have another mutual friend with whom we are particualrly close.... should I talk to them about it, or is that just silly? I dn, i just think me asking her out to dinner/lunch/movies, might be a bit full-on/unexpected/weird or what not in her eyes... considering that we've been friends for quite a while, and that would be kind of out of the blue

Anyway, thankyou all for listening to my ramblings :) and God bless!
 
I think it would be best telling her about the way you feel when you are alone with her, and yes; after the exams would be a wise decision.

I don't think it'd be so good having more people knowing about this before she knows anything, as if they'd suddenly tell it to her in an unexpected way. Yet, I don't know how close she and her sister is to each others, some young people likes to tell it first to a girl's/guy's friend or sibling, and then they tell it to that certain person. But I think it is best to having it between her and you, so that there wouldn't come any pressure from for example her sister over her; about giving you a chance or saying "Yes" to you if she happened to decide for a given "No" to you.

To keep on praying is always a nice decision made, as well as asking God for wisdom and to making it clear for you if she is one you are to being with in the future. God bless and help you doing the right decisions. :)
 
I am wondering how much time you have spent with her outside of church? I think that you should connect with her outside of church, go for coffee. Its a nice relaxed atmosphere that can be done with friends or more than friends.
I also agree that you are right to let her finish her exams before you ask her for a date but I don't think it would harm either of you to get to know each other better before this. I think that good relationships are often based on good friendships. :)
 
^ Yeah, good friendships is a great foundation in a relationship.
 
I agree that going for coffee would be a good start. See how she reacts and how it goes. If you get the feeling during that "mini date" that she would like to spend more alone time with you, then you might say something like, "Hey, would you like to catch a movie sometime?" It's an innocent friendly question, but the answer will tell you a LOT. If she doesn't seem interested in doing that or answers awkwardly, it would probably mean that she'd just like to be friends. Then you'll have your answer without losing a friend or spilling your guts about your feelings. :) BUT, she might jump at the chance and THAT would tell you a lot too, right? :)

I would NOT dump any heavy feelings on her right now and I certainly wouldn't discuss it with anyone close to her. Good luck and let us know how it goes! :)
 
The fact that you are good friends tells me that it's already a good thing. So...pay attention to her body language, and, who know, the Lord leads, she may even say something to you about her exams and why waiting would be a good thing. personally, Ive never been a fan of waiting for something , unless their is a clear sign from her to wait . Always pray too, sounds like you're a lierate guy who knows he wants to go on God's planned route for his life. That is something that girls in your church will like, that is the best kind of headstrong . So, pray, and, in church, be friends but don't wait if she acts like exams not that big of a deal.
 
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Thankyou for your responses :) ! Yes, i very much agree that good relationships often come from solid good friendships. I think I'll wait until her exams finish, she does get stressed out and i don't want to add to it, and i can wait. If God has it planned it will happen. And yea, i can get to know her better during this time. We haven't spent much time outside church at all to be honest-- except occasionally in groups

Thanks for the advice, i think you're right it'd be much better for me to get to know her better through coffee before launching into full on dates.

Thankyou all again, and I'll keep praying and seeking God's advice

Thanks again!!
 
TAKE HER OUT TO EAT!!!!

ask her whats her favorite type of food and then say you wanna take her out to eat to a place you know and if shes free during the next week.
its a dead give away that you like her (at least from a girls point of view) so 3 things could happen from there
1.)she says shes busy and she doesn't think she'll be able to make it. then say ok and change the subject.
2.) she accepts and you hurry home to find a place. >_<
3.) she REALLY is busy but she'll say something about the week after. if shes interested then she'll find SOMEWAY to fit you in.

but even if she says no just stay around. my dad says that they guys to hang around girls always end up being with her (thats what happened to me. i'm stuck with him whether i like it or not. lol)
 
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