Any Dad out there???

  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
jrccomputer

jrccomputer

Senior Member
Sep 25, 2013
379
3
18
Ok, so my last couple of threads have gone, well lets just say not stellar. So I going to make it the most clear I can. This question is for men who have children!! Or as the title say are "Dads" if your not a Dad you can post, but on the topic question.

Question: What are things I can do now, that can prepare me to become a Dad later in my future??

Meaing: someday in the distance (not tomorrow)I hope to be married, and yes I love children so I would be honored to have children.

What I am not saying: that I'm going to find some random girl, not marry her and us have a child. I'm not saying I want any of this unless its Gods will.


Thank you!! And God Bless!! :)
 
First start, is find out what a good husband is. I know, you're thinking 'that's not what i asked', but actually, it is. A good father provides a stable home life. A stable home life is a good marriage, and marriage is not as simple as most people assume it to be.

You will be an example to your child. Whether it's as a father, friend, Christian, employee or anything in life. How you handle yourself in regards to all of these areas will filter down to your child and this will cause him to repeat your behaviors. If you complain a lot, so will your child. If you lose your temper a lot, so will your child. But if you reflect patience, it will teach your child that.
Just because a child is young don't assume they aren't hearing what's going on around them. More often than you realize children are paying attention to what's being said around them. Just because they seem occupied by something else doesn't mean their ears are.
Start EARLY with discipline. So many people say 'let kids be kids, they can learn to be an adult when they're older'. Which means, your child never learns to be an adult. Teaching them to respect you, and your wife, at a young age is vital.
As a father don't make it 'your job' to be disciplinarian, and don't let your wife make it her job to be the comforter. Both of these roles need to be shared. Sure, one of you may be better at it, but you both need to reflect both qualities. And you will likely need to help your wife be recognized as a disciplinarian. Most kids see dads as the main one to discipline them, and feel they don't need to 'fear' mom. And often times the mothers reinforce this thinking with 'wait til your father gets home'. Make sure, that as primary disciplinarian you teach your kids to respect their mothers discipline as well.

These are a few tips. There is a lot more but it would require more than a post, or even a thread, to cover.
 
Ugly said:
First start, is find out what a good husband is. I know, you're thinking 'that's not what i asked', but actually, it is. A good father provides a stable home life. A stable home life is a good marriage, and marriage is not as simple as most people assume it to be.

You will be an example to your child. Whether it's as a father, friend, Christian, employee or anything in life. How you handle yourself in regards to all of these areas will filter down to your child and this will cause him to repeat your behaviors. If you complain a lot, so will your child. If you lose your temper a lot, so will your child. But if you reflect patience, it will teach your child that.
Just because a child is young don't assume they aren't hearing what's going on around them. More often than you realize children are paying attention to what's being said around them. Just because they seem occupied by something else doesn't mean their ears are.
Start EARLY with discipline. So many people say 'let kids be kids, they can learn to be an adult when they're older'. Which means, your child never learns to be an adult. Teaching them to respect you, and your wife, at a young age is vital.
As a father don't make it 'your job' to be disciplinarian, and don't let your wife make it her job to be the comforter. Both of these roles need to be shared. Sure, one of you may be better at it, but you both need to reflect both qualities. And you will likely need to help your wife be recognized as a disciplinarian. Most kids see dads as the main one to discipline them, and feel they don't need to 'fear' mom. And often times the mothers reinforce this thinking with 'wait til your father gets home'. Make sure, that as primary disciplinarian you teach your kids to respect their mothers discipline as well.

These are a few tips. There is a lot more but it would require more than a post, or even a thread, to cover.
Click to expand...

Thanks!! Great post.
 
I need a wonderful woman to stand by me. I will be there for you and you for me.
 
Ugly said:
First start, is find out what a good husband is. I know, you're thinking 'that's not what i asked', but actually, it is. A good father provides a stable home life. A stable home life is a good marriage, and marriage is not as simple as most people assume it to be.

You will be an example to your child. Whether it's as a father, friend, Christian, employee or anything in life. How you handle yourself in regards to all of these areas will filter down to your child and this will cause him to repeat your behaviors. If you complain a lot, so will your child. If you lose your temper a lot, so will your child. But if you reflect patience, it will teach your child that.
Just because a child is young don't assume they aren't hearing what's going on around them. More often than you realize children are paying attention to what's being said around them. Just because they seem occupied by something else doesn't mean their ears are.
Start EARLY with discipline. So many people say 'let kids be kids, they can learn to be an adult when they're older'. Which means, your child never learns to be an adult. Teaching them to respect you, and your wife, at a young age is vital.
As a father don't make it 'your job' to be disciplinarian, and don't let your wife make it her job to be the comforter. Both of these roles need to be shared. Sure, one of you may be better at it, but you both need to reflect both qualities. And you will likely need to help your wife be recognized as a disciplinarian. Most kids see dads as the main one to discipline them, and feel they don't need to 'fear' mom. And often times the mothers reinforce this thinking with 'wait til your father gets home'. Make sure, that as primary disciplinarian you teach your kids to respect their mothers discipline as well.

These are a few tips. There is a lot more but it would require more than a post, or even a thread, to cover.
Click to expand...

Exactly, nothing more to add.
 
jrccomputer said:
Its good, but not really what I asked. I'm asking: What at this moment can I do to prepare for father hood??
Click to expand...

I thought Ugly's post was pretty spot on...

I guess you could always offer to babysit children and get experience in that area. There's always a difference between raising your own kids and watching someone else's, though. :rolleyes:
 
rachelsedge said:
I thought Ugly's post was pretty spot on...

I guess you could always offer to babysit children and get experience in that area. There's always a difference between raising your own kids and watching someone else's, though. :rolleyes:
Click to expand...

Yes. No dont get me wrong, uglys post was perfect and fine. Its much appreciated.
 
Actually, if you read my post in perspective, it is all the things you need to prepare for ... now.
 
I actually understand where you're coming from. Before I got married and had a kid, I wanted to be the best husband and father I could. Ugly already gave you the blueprint, Rachelsedge gave you some practical. What I did and would suggest you do is just read every article, story, or book about how to be a good husband and father. (I initially typed good father and husband first but thought, no, Ugly was right, you have to be a good husband first before you can be a good father)

While sitting in the doctor's office, there are always magazines, and in them are tons of articles about what to do in various situations as either a boyfriend, husband or father. Even though most of these types of articles are secular, doesn't mean they don't have value. Just weigh what you read against The Bible. There will be lots of things you won't be able to associate with yet, so just store it away in your brain for future reference.

A good book to read is The Five Love Languages. Even though the focus is usually husband and wife relationships, you can apply it to every relationship; family, friends, girlfriend, wife, and children. There are many books like this that will help you, Christian and secular alike.

Daytime talk shows and news magazine shows are also a good source of information. Again, most are secular so weigh them against The Bible. Just one example of this was that while working with a client, he would watch "Dr. Phil." Even though I didn't always agree with what he said, there was some information that was valid. One that was very effective was the concept of "currency." "Currency" is what your child feels is the most important thing to them, like either toys, TV watching, cell pone use, etc. Parents can use their child's individual "currency" as a means for direction and correction. It is a good practice for kids as they grow into adulthood to weigh their actions against the potential loss.

There is a great source right here on this website. The Family Forum is a great source of information. You can read about questions that parents are having about how to raise their kids, the obstacles they face, and their personal testimonies. There are also threads about interrelationship issues within the family unit.

It's said that we only use 10% of our brains, so go cram the other 90% full of information that you want to use now and in the future. As always, keep reading and studying your Bible daily. This knowledge is the cornerstone of which all others will be measured.
 
KJV15John11 said:
I actually understand where you're coming from. Before I got married and had a kid, I wanted to be the best husband and father I could. Ugly already gave you the blueprint, Rachelsedge gave you some practical. What I did and would suggest you do is just read every article, story, or book about how to be a good husband and father. (I initially typed good father and husband first but thought, no, Ugly was right, you have to be a good husband first before you can be a good father)

While sitting in the doctor's office, there are always magazines, and in them are tons of articles about what to do in various situations as either a boyfriend, husband or father. Even though most of these types of articles are secular, doesn't mean they don't have value. Just weigh what you read against The Bible. There will be lots of things you won't be able to associate with yet, so just store it away in your brain for future reference.

A good book to read is The Five Love Languages. Even though the focus is usually husband and wife relationships, you can apply it to every relationship; family, friends, girlfriend, wife, and children. There are many books like this that will help you, Christian and secular alike.

Daytime talk shows and news magazine shows are also a good source of information. Again, most are secular so weigh them against The Bible. Just one example of this was that while working with a client, he would watch "Dr. Phil." Even though I didn't always agree with what he said, there was some information that was valid. One that was very effective was the concept of "currency." "Currency" is what your child feels is the most important thing to them, like either toys, TV watching, cell pone use, etc. Parents can use their child's individual "currency" as a means for direction and correction. It is a good practice for kids as they grow into adulthood to weigh their actions against the potential loss.

There is a great source right here on this website. The Family Forum is a great source of information. You can read about questions that parents are having about how to raise their kids, the obstacles they face, and their personal testimonies. There are also threads about interrelationship issues within the family unit.

It's said that we only use 10% of our brains, so go cram the other 90% full of information that you want to use now and in the future. As always, keep reading and studying your Bible daily. This knowledge is the cornerstone of which all others will be measured.
Click to expand...

↑thanks, man!! Great post↑
 
I'm a divorced dad. I could have been a better dad, if I hadn't let my wife slip away. That's the place to start.
 
jrccomputer said:
Its good, but not really what I asked. I'm asking: What at this moment can I do to prepare for father hood??

P.S: I thought of one: Big brother, big sister!!
Click to expand...

I doubt you could be a big sister. I would suggest you think deeply on the following.

1) who are you, do you really know yourself.
2) Where are you going, and , how do you plan to get there.
3) if your the boss, can you admit a mistake and apologize and still be the boss.
4) Is God your boss... really?
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back