It was something I couldn’t explain and with each passing day it was bothering me more. In the midst of the greatest period of success in my life, I sank into a depression that the depths of which I still can’t explain. More than the depression though was the frustration and confusion I felt for why on earth I was feeling that way. Success and depression just didn't seem to go together. I turned everywhere for an answer and for several months and through a few bad episodes, I got nowhere.
I finally broke down and sought help in the one direction I had been avoiding. I decided to see a psychologist. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with the mental health profession, and I do believe it is better to talk things out with someone than to stay bottled up. I just always had this vision of some psychologist telling me that losing my 3rd grade spelling bee because I couldn’t spell the word “midget” nearly thirty years ago was the reason I harbored ill feelings for the munchkins in the Wizard of Oz or something goofy like that.
So here I am in my 30's seeing a psychologist. It was an odd experience to say the least. Dr. Ajit was not like any type of doctor I had ever encountered. I wasn’t use to a doctor dropping the F-bomb like he did. It was probably my third session with him that was definitely the groundbreaking one. I need to paint a picture of Dr. Ajit for you to get the full imagery of what happened in that session. Though he had been in the U.S. for years, Dr. Ajit still had a very thick Indian accent. For all intents and purposes, he sounded like Apu from the Kwik-E-Mart on the Simpsons. He was also very animated when he talked in our sessions.
In this third session, we discussed several topics including my faith, relationships, the work I had done in the past with drug prevention, and then we began to focus on the current ball of frustration, anger, and depression that were all swirling around and eating me up. As I finished explaining something that had happened that week, Dr. Ajit just sat back in his chair pondering for a moment what to say to me. Then it came out of nowhere, Dr Ajit looked at me and said, “Dude, you need to get laid!”
“What!” I said. I mean I am thinking to myself Apu has just told me that I need to go have sex. I mean, maybe for the first time in my life, I was speechless. I sat there for a moment thinking maybe I misheard him, but I could tell by the look on his face I hadn’t. I began to explain how that was not quite the answer that was going to work for me. My faith was not going to allow that to be a viable solution. Then that goofy side God has blessed me with took over. I began to ask Dr. Ajit, “Which pharmacy do I get that prescription filled at? Does that come with several refills? Do you think my HMO would pay for it?” I sat there imagining myself with that prescription in hand. How bizarre!
I left the session admittedly laughing to myself of how stupid the exchange between the two of us had been. His suggestion was not a viable one for me, because it goes against my faith. However, the laughter was something I hadn’t felt in awhile. Later that night I was with friends and I shared with them Dr. Ajit’s suggestion and our exchange. They were shocked at the idea too, but like me began to laugh at a psychologist telling someone that as a solution. I would have never thought that experience could make me eventually think of scripture, but it did.
Proverbs 17:22 says that “a merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Some scripture can be confusing, but this one sums it up pretty easily. Finding joy can do amazing things. During those periods when I am frustrated, I have felt myself age what seemed years in a few minutes, but those moments of joy are like uncut diamonds whose value are priceless.
I will take Proverbs 17:22 even one step farther. Joy, real joy, an everlasting joy, can only come from one source, and that’s Jesus Christ. Without Him, anything we like to call joy in this life is fleeting.
I may still have my rough moments of frustration and trials, but I can count it all joy. Its been taken care of.
I finally broke down and sought help in the one direction I had been avoiding. I decided to see a psychologist. Don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with the mental health profession, and I do believe it is better to talk things out with someone than to stay bottled up. I just always had this vision of some psychologist telling me that losing my 3rd grade spelling bee because I couldn’t spell the word “midget” nearly thirty years ago was the reason I harbored ill feelings for the munchkins in the Wizard of Oz or something goofy like that.
So here I am in my 30's seeing a psychologist. It was an odd experience to say the least. Dr. Ajit was not like any type of doctor I had ever encountered. I wasn’t use to a doctor dropping the F-bomb like he did. It was probably my third session with him that was definitely the groundbreaking one. I need to paint a picture of Dr. Ajit for you to get the full imagery of what happened in that session. Though he had been in the U.S. for years, Dr. Ajit still had a very thick Indian accent. For all intents and purposes, he sounded like Apu from the Kwik-E-Mart on the Simpsons. He was also very animated when he talked in our sessions.
In this third session, we discussed several topics including my faith, relationships, the work I had done in the past with drug prevention, and then we began to focus on the current ball of frustration, anger, and depression that were all swirling around and eating me up. As I finished explaining something that had happened that week, Dr. Ajit just sat back in his chair pondering for a moment what to say to me. Then it came out of nowhere, Dr Ajit looked at me and said, “Dude, you need to get laid!”
“What!” I said. I mean I am thinking to myself Apu has just told me that I need to go have sex. I mean, maybe for the first time in my life, I was speechless. I sat there for a moment thinking maybe I misheard him, but I could tell by the look on his face I hadn’t. I began to explain how that was not quite the answer that was going to work for me. My faith was not going to allow that to be a viable solution. Then that goofy side God has blessed me with took over. I began to ask Dr. Ajit, “Which pharmacy do I get that prescription filled at? Does that come with several refills? Do you think my HMO would pay for it?” I sat there imagining myself with that prescription in hand. How bizarre!
I left the session admittedly laughing to myself of how stupid the exchange between the two of us had been. His suggestion was not a viable one for me, because it goes against my faith. However, the laughter was something I hadn’t felt in awhile. Later that night I was with friends and I shared with them Dr. Ajit’s suggestion and our exchange. They were shocked at the idea too, but like me began to laugh at a psychologist telling someone that as a solution. I would have never thought that experience could make me eventually think of scripture, but it did.
Proverbs 17:22 says that “a merry heart doeth good like a medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” Some scripture can be confusing, but this one sums it up pretty easily. Finding joy can do amazing things. During those periods when I am frustrated, I have felt myself age what seemed years in a few minutes, but those moments of joy are like uncut diamonds whose value are priceless.
I will take Proverbs 17:22 even one step farther. Joy, real joy, an everlasting joy, can only come from one source, and that’s Jesus Christ. Without Him, anything we like to call joy in this life is fleeting.
I may still have my rough moments of frustration and trials, but I can count it all joy. Its been taken care of.