There is hope my friend. I want you to be assured of this.
Just August of last year, I was absolutely positive that my marriage was ending. As a matter of fact, I packed up my kids and I left. I Left, but i never stopped praying. I had absolutely no vision of a future with my Husband, everything was failing(in my opinion) and I didn't feel like I could Love him the way I was supposed to. This is Where God took over.
In myself, I would have given up. All of a sudden, I began to see change. The very things that were tearing us apart, We began to actually communicate about (over the phone.) Every friend or family member that I turned to, for their advice, hoping secretly that they would encourage me the more to end the relationship, seemed to do the opposite. They prayed for our recovery!
My husband and I, while seperate, began to do the very thing we were neglecting through our hardships. We began Praying TOGETHER.
It was forced and awkward at first. The man whom I complained to the Lord on countless occasions about, now turned around and began to pray like I've never heard him pray before. He began to fix what he could fix on his end, and The Lord truly dealt with my very impatient, harsh response to my husbands inadequacies.
He started me on a road to learn to love unconditionally. He taught me how to help my husband as opposed to leaving him. (There was a great deal of lack because of my husbands upbringing, and a great deal of impatience and intolerance that I learned growing up as well.)
I say this to say. We didnt find healing until we hit rock bottom. It was at our lowest point, where hopelessness set in, that God took over.
We at times are so in control of our own lives, and God is such a gentleman, that he will never impose. But at the moment you give it all to him, He can do "Exceedingly, Abundantly, above all that we could ask or think"
He is able. He doesnt wish our marriages ill. He wants to teach us how to love one another with an unconditional love, like his Son taught us. We can do nothing for God to give up on us. He wants us to do the same with our spouses. You were put together for a reason. I believe the enemy has caused you to forget the reason.
If you would like to talk privately, feel free. Be encouraged today. The darkest hour is just before daybreak.
Seems like w every passing day, the hope just fades more and more.