What happens to you after someone breaks your heart? I'd love to know what everyone's sulking actions are. For me? I have the hardest time getting over break-ups. When they first tell me "I can't do us anymore" my heart sinks into my stomach. I fear I did something wrong or they did something wrong and for some reason they don't get the guts to tell me why they are ending the relationship. After that meet-up, brief phone call or sent text message, you feel hurt. What if they didn't call, text or meet up with you? What if they just broke up with you over Facebook by changing their relationship status to single?!? Would you be so hurt that you feel that you can't be repaired anymore? That's what happened to me. I have come across so many losers who have broken up with me because they hooked up with some random chick at the bar, or they were looking at child porn (yeah you read right..there are creeps out there like that)....or they were sick of me and my messed up personality. I know I am a lot to handle and I struggle with anxiety, anger management, and insecurities. As told by my counselor, I struggle with something called "borderline personality disorder."
Well, my "grieving process" consists of many stages. Changing stuff and deleting stuff on Facebook, burning and cutting up pictures I had printed out for their birthday present, and much, much crying. Oh there is a lot of crying. I know I shouldn't cry over a BOY but every time I get in a relationship, I always feel like I left a piece of me with them. I give my heart out way too much and it ends up getting stepped on. My heart is ironically a fuzzy, muddy doormat. You know, the ones that say "Wipe Your Paws"? Yep. That's what my heart looks like and I feel that the next time a guy wants to date me, it's going to be extremely hard for me to trust them. Nobody is worth trusting. Why should we trust others when everyone will let us down? That's what my grandparents always tell me. Love everyone but trust no one. After I go through my first stage of deleting everything that reminds me of that "person", I get up the next morning, go to work, come home and then when it comes to my days off, that's when things are hard. So how do I spend my days off after a nasty break up? I rent four movies from Family Video, buy a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream, and I go home to watch Castaway and I cry over Wilson leaving Tom Hanks at sea. It's usually the same process every time. I didn't do that this time. I didn't go and buy a pint of fat and cry over some lame loser who ate up a bunch of my time and money! I went back to the gym, started doing my Insanity workouts and now I am going to buy me a bunch of stuff for this new military diet I'm going back on. I'm going to start tanning and taking care of myself because that is what you're supposed to do after a break up. Come out the bigger person and show the world what you're made of.
I do have to say that even though hardly anybody reads my blogs, I love blogging so much. It helps me reveal my inner self and I can get out what is really on my heart and on my mind. Maybe you are reading this feeling like everything is wasted because the love of your life is now gone or he is breaking your heart doing something you know is wrong. I am here to tell you that everything is going to be okay. I had to be okay and I know you're going to come out stronger through this. Every storm in our lives happen for a reason. It doesn't matter how harsh or how terrifying the storm is, it's enough that we can handle. God doesn't give us challenges in life that He doesn't think we can't handle so the next time you feel you are at rock bottom, just remember that
Well, my "grieving process" consists of many stages. Changing stuff and deleting stuff on Facebook, burning and cutting up pictures I had printed out for their birthday present, and much, much crying. Oh there is a lot of crying. I know I shouldn't cry over a BOY but every time I get in a relationship, I always feel like I left a piece of me with them. I give my heart out way too much and it ends up getting stepped on. My heart is ironically a fuzzy, muddy doormat. You know, the ones that say "Wipe Your Paws"? Yep. That's what my heart looks like and I feel that the next time a guy wants to date me, it's going to be extremely hard for me to trust them. Nobody is worth trusting. Why should we trust others when everyone will let us down? That's what my grandparents always tell me. Love everyone but trust no one. After I go through my first stage of deleting everything that reminds me of that "person", I get up the next morning, go to work, come home and then when it comes to my days off, that's when things are hard. So how do I spend my days off after a nasty break up? I rent four movies from Family Video, buy a pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food ice cream, and I go home to watch Castaway and I cry over Wilson leaving Tom Hanks at sea. It's usually the same process every time. I didn't do that this time. I didn't go and buy a pint of fat and cry over some lame loser who ate up a bunch of my time and money! I went back to the gym, started doing my Insanity workouts and now I am going to buy me a bunch of stuff for this new military diet I'm going back on. I'm going to start tanning and taking care of myself because that is what you're supposed to do after a break up. Come out the bigger person and show the world what you're made of.
I do have to say that even though hardly anybody reads my blogs, I love blogging so much. It helps me reveal my inner self and I can get out what is really on my heart and on my mind. Maybe you are reading this feeling like everything is wasted because the love of your life is now gone or he is breaking your heart doing something you know is wrong. I am here to tell you that everything is going to be okay. I had to be okay and I know you're going to come out stronger through this. Every storm in our lives happen for a reason. It doesn't matter how harsh or how terrifying the storm is, it's enough that we can handle. God doesn't give us challenges in life that He doesn't think we can't handle so the next time you feel you are at rock bottom, just remember that