Are you responsible for your friends actions?

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blueteardrop

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So, i made this really wicked awesome friend on here, and yeah we talked a few times and all. But then when i told my friend about him, she goes ahead and does something that was despicable. She gets drunk one night so i run over there and of course i spend the time babysitting, you know, making sure she's alright and doesn't get sick and all. But get this, she takes my phone and calls the guy or texts him or something, and now he won't talk to me anymore. What do i do? I mean, i didn't know about it till about a week ago when i realized i wasn't getting any calls from him, or IMs or anything. I feel terrible, i don't know if its my fault or not. I should've been watching out better for my things, but in the midst of all that was going on i couldn't focus on my phone. I was more occupied on making sure she wasn't needing a ride to the hospital or something. Was i responsible for what she did? I don't know what to think and its killing me. It's bad enough with all the other things going on with my friend and his sister. But what do i do? I sent an apology for everything that happened. And i don't even know what she said! But if he isn't talking to me anymore, it must've been terrible :( please help, someone?
 
Check your email history and text history. That should solve your curiosity of what was said in the exchange.

The problem is though....that when we are in control of a situation is can drive us crazy. The choices of others does have an affect on us....BUT, we are not responsible for those choices...only for how we react to them.
I know it is not easy.

I had something happen to me recently...and in the measure of trying to *help*, and *fix* things...I found myself looking back and realizing that I probably ended up validating the thoughts the person was having of me to begin with because I was looking a bit phycho with the way I chose to respond instead of being prayerful taking a huge step back.
 
I agree with grace.

Sometimes when we are "there" for someone in such a way, we are sort of aiding in their behavior, because they think, If I get in trouble, then so and so will come to rescue me.

And with being in this type of situation, you're between a rock and a hard place. Do you help your friend, knowing that you'll be in the same predicament again or do you ignore their pleas, play about it and hope nothing terrible happens to them in the process?

Sometimes the only way for people to "learn" is for them to go through it.

But we are only responsible for our own actions.

As to your guy friend on here, if I were him, I'd be pretty freaked out. And I wouldn't feel as though everything was okay, and with me being myself, I'd probably distance myself for a while (but that's just me).

I'm sure he knows that you're sincerely sorry for what happened and he might come around, just give him some time.

I hope this helps :)
 
Yeah I agree with both of the posts above. You shouldnt be responsible for your what your friend did, she took your phone and texted him. You didnt do anything, you were taking care of your friend who needed you. You shouldn't feel guilty, I would agree with lightbliss that people have to learn from their mistakes you should set some boundries with her when it comes to the situation like that. As hard as it is you shouldnt let your friends walk over you, take care of them and being there for them is fine you shouldnt ignore their needs (especially in a situation where alchol is involved)but thats where those boundries come into place, especially if she does it all the time. And keep trying to talk to the guy, expain that wasnt you, and that your friend was drunk as best as youcan, if hes not willing to listen that give it a break for a while. hopefully he'll listen eventually.
 
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