I feel like my mind is playing tricks on me.
Still struggling w/ what happened to me 2 weeks ago. Having my good and bad days. Today was a very difficult day.
Questioning/wondering. It's bothering me to no end.
Also, please pray my one friend contacts me tomorrow. I would really like to speak to him. Like I said my mind is playing tricks on me even w/ this w/ him. I don't know why. I think it's just bc of everything I've been thru that I'm trying to make sense of and right now, I really only want to speak to 1 person whom already knows all that happened but, I just want to speak to him anyways. It's important.
But, really need peace in mind/body/soul/spirit right now. I am trembling inside, not bc I'm afraid of the guy anymore but, I think more bc I feel betrayed by him. Lost a friendship w/ him over this. And, I feel like part of this is my fault bc why didn't I see the signs? I should've seen the signs from him but I didn't. I'm angry, hurt, frustrated, depressed (a little bit) and just feel totally betrayed by him. I feel lost and alone. I just don't know how to calm myself down. I was good on sunday-tues but yesterday and today, horrible. No matter what I do, try or whatever, I still feel it and cannot get my mind off it.
Part of me also wants to message the guy who did what he did to me but, I feel if I ever did message him, just a bunch of anger would come out at him so, i'm staying away. (And he didn't do what u think, that's all I'm saying).
Please lift myself, this guy, and my best friend up in prayer please. Very important --- esp my best friend and me, well, I guess it's all important... sorry, not thinking straight.
I'm going to try to get to bed now. Been taking a Xanax every night to make me sleep bc otherwise I won't be able to calm myself down and sleep.
Still struggling w/ what happened to me 2 weeks ago. Having my good and bad days. Today was a very difficult day.
Questioning/wondering. It's bothering me to no end.
Also, please pray my one friend contacts me tomorrow. I would really like to speak to him. Like I said my mind is playing tricks on me even w/ this w/ him. I don't know why. I think it's just bc of everything I've been thru that I'm trying to make sense of and right now, I really only want to speak to 1 person whom already knows all that happened but, I just want to speak to him anyways. It's important.
But, really need peace in mind/body/soul/spirit right now. I am trembling inside, not bc I'm afraid of the guy anymore but, I think more bc I feel betrayed by him. Lost a friendship w/ him over this. And, I feel like part of this is my fault bc why didn't I see the signs? I should've seen the signs from him but I didn't. I'm angry, hurt, frustrated, depressed (a little bit) and just feel totally betrayed by him. I feel lost and alone. I just don't know how to calm myself down. I was good on sunday-tues but yesterday and today, horrible. No matter what I do, try or whatever, I still feel it and cannot get my mind off it.
Part of me also wants to message the guy who did what he did to me but, I feel if I ever did message him, just a bunch of anger would come out at him so, i'm staying away. (And he didn't do what u think, that's all I'm saying).
Please lift myself, this guy, and my best friend up in prayer please. Very important --- esp my best friend and me, well, I guess it's all important... sorry, not thinking straight.
I'm going to try to get to bed now. Been taking a Xanax every night to make me sleep bc otherwise I won't be able to calm myself down and sleep.