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GreenNnice
Guest
Yeah, the wooing thread got me to thinking you gals can help guys know what is the best way to invite you out. Direct or indirect or creative.
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GreenNnice
Guest
Ladies, do I bid you to note, we may be having some( God-blessed I hope and pray) differing opinions, but do note, THIS POLL IS PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE. You will be showing guys how you think on this subject. Maybe I should have done it private, hmm, oh well, the Lord leads.
Guys, not for you to vote but don't you worry dudes I got a poll for you too, correlating to this.
Guys, not for you to vote but don't you worry dudes I got a poll for you too, correlating to this.
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allforfun
Guest
Direct. Too the point. "Would you like to get coffee?" "There is a concert on Friday, would you like to go?"
I don't handle mind games well. If you want to play, I can play. But I'd prefer not to.
I don't handle mind games well. If you want to play, I can play. But I'd prefer not to.
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GreenNnice
Guest
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Mind games?
Ok, fine. But if you like the guy and he asks you out not direct , not indirect, but, instead, creatively , I am just saying that guys RARELY will go that extra step. We WILL give you your room to say something, really, the word doesn't' have to be 'ok,' it can be something like, 'I like coffee.' Or ' coffee. Please , I don't drink the stuff.'
All I'm saying is that by a ACKNOWLEDGMENT OF PRACTICALLY ANY SORT does not leave us having to walk away clueless.
Now maybe you just KNOW that your knight in shining armor,wearing a cross necklace set in a translucent stone, will come along eventually and know to ask you out from a smile after he creatively asks you out or indirectly or directly asks you out, for that matter. Could happen that way for you, hey, the Lord leads, but my response shining to that euphori, fairytale way of getting the right guy is 'you will wait a long time for that to happen.'
+++--+++ And guys you're welcome to comment, just the voting is for girls only . Thanks, and, guys, see the other thread opposite this one and vote VIA a reply post to one of two letter answer choices.
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allforfun
Guest
Let me put this bluntly. I am not speaking about other women, I am speaking about me, allforfun.
I like coffee. If a guy says "I like coffee" I'm going to say "I'm on my fourth cup today". I'm oblivious, sometimes I'm distracted, sometimes my head is filled with work, school and I need blunt.
I don't know about other women. I can not speak for them. I like creativity. I encourage creativity. But when seeking to do an activity with me, one will have to kick me in the head. I am sorry, I am just dumb. It should not be mistaken for lack of interest. And if the guy is really interested in hanging out with me more, I hope he has sensed this and gets it. I'm not as flaky as a bowel of Post Toasties, I can just seem that way at times.
I like coffee. If a guy says "I like coffee" I'm going to say "I'm on my fourth cup today". I'm oblivious, sometimes I'm distracted, sometimes my head is filled with work, school and I need blunt.
I don't know about other women. I can not speak for them. I like creativity. I encourage creativity. But when seeking to do an activity with me, one will have to kick me in the head. I am sorry, I am just dumb. It should not be mistaken for lack of interest. And if the guy is really interested in hanging out with me more, I hope he has sensed this and gets it. I'm not as flaky as a bowel of Post Toasties, I can just seem that way at times.
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violakat
Guest
To be honest, I'd rather have guys be direct about asking me out. I'm not always the greatest at picking up hints. Sometimes I can, but sometimes, I'm not. Of course, if they went the creative way around, that's fine to.
Just please don't send me a note that says:
If I asked you out, would you go out with me? Check:
Yes
No
Maybe
Just please don't send me a note that says:
If I asked you out, would you go out with me? Check:
Yes
No
Maybe
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kayem77
Guest
I was between direct and creative but I chose direct simply because there is no way I could misinterpret his question. Depends of the guy, if we have the type of communication were we don't always have to say things so directly but still understand each other (which is good) maybe I'd like him to be creative. Basically, I'd just would like to know if he is inviting me or not. Sometimes a creative question could be the same as s direct question, depending of how you get along with him.
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Liz01
Guest
I like that when someone want to spend some time with me ask me direct "Would you like to go to a coffee?" because if is not direct then i dont understand sometimes that they want go out with me, i like that a guy be creative and its very nice when he makes me laugh, but i like direct way.
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GreenNnice
Guest
Allfunfor, that's good, you're not flaky and you're not alone. 'Direct,' is not that surprising to be the dominant choice, but, hmmm, maybe it's somewhat odd I guess, considering a 'creative' ask-out is too a choice. I figured 'indirect' would get very little love but....and this might put me in WEIRD-WEIRD category with ladies everywhere but ...
'Indirect,' was how Alladin asked out the girl in that Disney movie, I am pretty sure I remember that as, 'You wouldn't't want to go for a ride on a carpet would you?'
'Sure,' she said , and, the rest is history, Alladin showed her a whole new world
So, that , this, is all to say that all 3 choices can be fine and bottom line, ladies, this poll and thread things you say is helping guys everywhere ask girls out RIGHT.
AND, my other thread hopefully can help girls help guys just plain ole continue the conversation past the ingenious pick-up line that's wholly complete (ex: keep laughing at all my dumb, dumb jokes and I'll have to invite you to coffee), and, let's not take the Lord out of the equation, I would let her know you are a christian before you ask her out in your rapport building time, no sense to dance around that MOST important of facts, guys. My opinion. Hmm, maybe, I will do another poll on that. I'm just greennpollcrazy tonight
'Indirect,' was how Alladin asked out the girl in that Disney movie, I am pretty sure I remember that as, 'You wouldn't't want to go for a ride on a carpet would you?'
'Sure,' she said , and, the rest is history, Alladin showed her a whole new world
So, that , this, is all to say that all 3 choices can be fine and bottom line, ladies, this poll and thread things you say is helping guys everywhere ask girls out RIGHT.
AND, my other thread hopefully can help girls help guys just plain ole continue the conversation past the ingenious pick-up line that's wholly complete (ex: keep laughing at all my dumb, dumb jokes and I'll have to invite you to coffee), and, let's not take the Lord out of the equation, I would let her know you are a christian before you ask her out in your rapport building time, no sense to dance around that MOST important of facts, guys. My opinion. Hmm, maybe, I will do another poll on that. I'm just greennpollcrazy tonight
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GreenNnice
Guest
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vKat, I think that a note can work, but it must be done creatively. Most guys arena't brave enough to write a note, ' do you like me?' Then have 'yes,' , 'no,' 'maybe. ' Do the note I would say but guy better do it confidently and purposefully , and, certainly creatively and, I would hasten to add, with God mentioned somewhere in that inquiry.
-----yes, kayM, the guy, the time knowing him matters, but, for the most part, I am thinking of a situation where you never seen this person before or seen them at singles church group but never asked them out.
Just saying.
Lizzytheone, You're flexible, that's a good thing, just smile AND say word like 'OK' if guy does a creative ask like, ' well, you got a God shirt on two, maybe we should wear our witness together sometime and get coffee.'
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kayem77
Guest
-----yes, kayM, the guy, the time knowing him matters, but, for the most part, I am thinking of a situation where you never seen this person before or seen them at singles church group but never asked them out.
Just saying.
Ohh that changes my answer. If I don't know him and he asks me out I will probably say no. But if I've seen him around in church or some place, but never really talked , like the example of Aladdin, I would prefer indirect. That way it doesn't sound too fast for me for an almost stranger , because I imagine we would talk before. I imagine something like this:
He: Hey I see you like reading books (tennis, videogames,whatever). I was thinking of going to the library (park, museum,whatever) , maybe you would like to go?
She: Sure, sounds fun.
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GreenNnice
Guest
Ohh that changes my answer. If I don't know him and he asks me out I will probably say no. But if I've seen him around in church or some place, but never really talked , like the example of Aladdin, I would prefer indirect. That way it doesn't sound too fast for me for an almost stranger , because I imagine we would talk before. I imagine something like this:
He: Hey I see you like reading books (tennis, videogames,whatever). I was thinking of going to the library (park, museum,whatever) , maybe you would like to go?
She: Sure, sounds fun.
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Well said, KayM, guys everywhere thank you, especially probably the guy that attached the colorful, comic art scene with the text: This Thread is now An Awesome Thread .
But, hmm, indirect ask by him preferred IF you don't know them well , besides the minute or two chit-chatting after singles night or in the company lunchroom . That means your vote is now skewing the polls. Thanks a bunch, kayM . Just kidding, I'm often not very clear in what I say, thus, I know I can confuse girls everywhere.
But, yeah, I am saying that you just have met this guy perchance, like after a college class , or, company picnic (be CAREFUL, asking out fellow worker as that is DANGEROUS. THE LORD LEADS, BUT MY ADVICE? Don't do it. The dating goes wrong and, remember, you still work with her. She could even request you don't work there anymore...to your, and, her, boss
), or meeting at a church singles Tuesday night deal, for example, and you don't know them at all , except maybe he introduced self to you during the handshake portion of the church singles night . Your library guy ask example kayM sounds very direct but a very natural way, too, again, Thank you.
Examples, examples, give em to us, ladies. Gimme, gimme...
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thimsrebma
Guest
I picked direct.
You are at the grocery store, in the can goods aisle. Reaching for a can of beans, your hand brushes against someones elses reaching for that same can. You jerk your hand back and say "I'm sorry. You take it." You turn your head slightly and look into her eyes, then you both giggle a bit. You strike up a conversation about what you are preparing for dinner. As the conversation comes to an end, it's time to make your move. So you introduce yourself. "I'm Green by the way, and you are?" " Sally!" she says in her sweet, modest, Sunday School Teacher voice. "Nice to meet you Sally." "Nice to meet you too, Green." "Sally, would you mind if I called you some time or maybe you can call me?" "Sure, Green, that would be nice." You pull out a business card and hand it to her and she proceeds to tell you her number as you right it down on a receipt from the Dry cleaners. "I'll talk to you soon" you say politely. "Okay!" You turn in oposite directions, walk away, smiling and forgetting the rest of the things on your grocery list.
You are at the grocery store, in the can goods aisle. Reaching for a can of beans, your hand brushes against someones elses reaching for that same can. You jerk your hand back and say "I'm sorry. You take it." You turn your head slightly and look into her eyes, then you both giggle a bit. You strike up a conversation about what you are preparing for dinner. As the conversation comes to an end, it's time to make your move. So you introduce yourself. "I'm Green by the way, and you are?" " Sally!" she says in her sweet, modest, Sunday School Teacher voice. "Nice to meet you Sally." "Nice to meet you too, Green." "Sally, would you mind if I called you some time or maybe you can call me?" "Sure, Green, that would be nice." You pull out a business card and hand it to her and she proceeds to tell you her number as you right it down on a receipt from the Dry cleaners. "I'll talk to you soon" you say politely. "Okay!" You turn in oposite directions, walk away, smiling and forgetting the rest of the things on your grocery list.
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allforfun
Guest
OK, so from now on this is how I'm gonna ask women out:
YOU ARE HAVING COFFEE WITH ME. NOW!!!!!
I would say yes to that.
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Jullianna
Guest
LOL Gabe! That would work for me too.
HEY, YOU! YES, YOU! WE'RE GOING FOR COFFEE.. NOW!
And I don't even like coffee....
HEY, YOU! YES, YOU! WE'RE GOING FOR COFFEE.. NOW!
And I don't even like coffee....
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violakat
Guest
OK, so from now on this is how I'm gonna ask women out:
YOU ARE HAVING COFFEE WITH ME. NOW!!!!!
ROFLMHO
Now that is direct.
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gypsytraveler
Guest
I guess I am one of those rare women that like the indirect approach. I am a thinker and like to have time to adjust to the idea. It doesn't help that I am shy and in the presence of other people I can be very standoffish. I don't like being put on the spot for a direct answer, and in most cases my answer will be no. It doesn't necessarily mean I will get the hint that he was asking me out, but I would be more acceptable to it and would more then likely respond with "yeah maybe we could sometime."
Several guys have tried the direct approach with me and my automatic response was no. I can't help it they made me feel uncomfortable with their attention (and in no way was it their fault). Again I will state that I am SHY. Does this excuse me for being harsh in my response to their direct approach? NO not really. I have even regretted my response, but my own hang-ups have kept me from accepting. If they would of lead in first with an indirect approach they might have had more luck.
One would think that since I have 7 brothers I wouldn't be uncomfortable in the presence of guys but I am uncomfortable when it comes to them showing interest in me in more then friendship. I know how to handle guys as friends. So if a guy wants to get to know me better, it is best for him to first become my friend and leave subtle hints that he would like to go out with me. Oh and creative ways could also very well work for me.
I guess I am an oddity.
Several guys have tried the direct approach with me and my automatic response was no. I can't help it they made me feel uncomfortable with their attention (and in no way was it their fault). Again I will state that I am SHY. Does this excuse me for being harsh in my response to their direct approach? NO not really. I have even regretted my response, but my own hang-ups have kept me from accepting. If they would of lead in first with an indirect approach they might have had more luck.
One would think that since I have 7 brothers I wouldn't be uncomfortable in the presence of guys but I am uncomfortable when it comes to them showing interest in me in more then friendship. I know how to handle guys as friends. So if a guy wants to get to know me better, it is best for him to first become my friend and leave subtle hints that he would like to go out with me. Oh and creative ways could also very well work for me.
I guess I am an oddity.
