Love them anyway. Doesn't matter how they treat you, if they are nice to you, or if they accept you; that should be of no consequence. You don't need man's acceptance, and requiring it is just gonna bog you down.
ATTENTION ALL CHRISTIANS!!!
- Thread starter JFSurvivor
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Love them anyway. Doesn't matter how they treat you, if they are nice to you, or if they accept you; that should be of no consequence. You don't need man's acceptance, and requiring it is just gonna bog you down.
D
Depleted
Guest
Was it candy corn? I can see that if it was candy corn, but if it was chocolate? That's just wrong!
(Kidding. Just trying to lighten the mood. lol)
Well, JF, you've been nothing but horrible to me. The shoe's on the other foot, I'm afraid. Now, if you leave this place, just know that God is on your side, and He desires to give you all that you need for living a productive, abundant life, when you give Jesus the lead. It is Jesus in a life that gives people appropriately healthy self-esteem, and it is Jesus in a life that helps us operate with appropriate emotions, not allowing them to dictate how things REALLY are.
Be strong in the Lord, and call upon the name of Jesus every day to lead you. Then follow. He has a great plan for your life! He thinks good thoughts about you 24/7.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
.
Be strong in the Lord, and call upon the name of Jesus every day to lead you. Then follow. He has a great plan for your life! He thinks good thoughts about you 24/7.
Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
.
D
Depleted
Guest
That was never intended as a cheap shot. I actually do know her and she knows me. I know she gets frustrated. But this is the first time she took it out on everyone.
She's hurting. I get that, but so are others. I would probably applaud her if she said the exact same thing to those who did hurt her. Judging from one response I've read so far, I know one who did because that's what he does most of the time on here. (I'm so not new. I merely rejoined, because I'm hurting too and need help.)
There are a lot of turds on here. There are also a lot of good people. We find the good in others when we do good ourselves. Since when is that a cheap shot?
JF - I feel you need to find a real person (pray for one) who will counsel you, stand with you in your struggles, and pray with you in person. This site is not what you need. You need to feel real arms hugging you, hear gentle loving voices, and even be in a group of loving women who will welcome you in their presence (pray for this). After you have prayed, keep thanking God that he is putting this in place for you.
Someone needs to be with you in person to hold you accountable for choices you make. And hold your hand while you act out those choices. A good friend! I pray for this for you.
Joi
Someone needs to be with you in person to hold you accountable for choices you make. And hold your hand while you act out those choices. A good friend! I pray for this for you.
Joi
And it is those same revolting people who chase the GOOD ones off of CC, day after day.. :/ Sorry but it's true. I applaud you on the revolting people comment. At least you're not afraid to tell the harsh truth that few here want to hear. CC isn't a church, it's a website, and an increasingly nasty one.. The bad apples and trolls make it nasty. Everyone here moans and beeches about how we all need to be kind to each other and respect one another, yet on a daily basis, those same people hurl insults, call names, swear at others, etc. How is that behavior going to encourage others to be kind? If you're gonna talk the talk, then you best be walkin' the walk.
B
bikerchaz
Guest
Hi JFSurvivor , I have had these conversations with my wife, cos this happens in the 'church' too, especially when poverty is the first thing people look at or see when they look at you, and especially when where you came from seems to them like the darkest pits of hell itself.
Every day I pray and ask god not to allow my stupidity and former transgressions to hide or deplete or distract in any way those I meet who are searching for Him.
If I may be so bold (I do not remember any of your posts), may I offer a few thoughts as a little exhortation. I agree with a few posts you have received on here, the thought that we have to stay and show the Love of Jesus no matter what is an important part of what I am doing here. I answer a lot of posts by private mail as a lot of prayer requests can have a very personal side which the Holy Spirit sometimes brings into focus. I have even had cause to reprimand a brother, but again I used the PM system.
The Church of Jesus Christ is as real as they come and it is in here, as well as in the local building you meet in. We are the church, anyone who accepts Jesus sacrifice on the cross for their sin is a fully paid up member of this exclusive club, but we both know that is only the beginning, we may be a new creation but we then have to learn how to live as one, and its this next bit that confuses me, as we learn and grow into the adulthood of the Holy Spirit (Paul talked about growing in Christ), we are accompanied by the weeds "Let both grow together until the harvest."
so we grow surrounded by these weeds and we see no difference between them and us. We look to Jesus and keep our eyes on Him, we are concerned about our race, the one we are running and not really looking at the others around us until they come back with a cutting remark.
This now becomes a matter of prayer, and we have a scriptural procedure to deal with these things. Firstly we take the matter directly to them. If that does not bring about resolve then, through prayer, the matter is then discussed with two others before returning to the offender. Then if need be the whole church, I understand this might be difficult on here but it would not be impossible.
Mostly we know these people through the fruit of the Spirit in their lives, Jesus said "A good tree can not bring forth bad fruit, likewise a bad tree cannot bring forth good fruit". Knowing peoples fruit on here is a little more difficult, but reading what they write, or the way it is written soon speaks to the Holy Spirit within us, and gives us a bit of a heads up.
Stay true to the leading within, take your fury and turn it into praise, take your anger at being treated so and SHOUT TO THE LORD FOR JOY!! Mat 5 v
[SUP]11 [/SUP]“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. [SUP]12 [/SUP]Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
It is quite a liberating experience to shout for joy at being mistreated.
Numbers 6 v 24
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
[SUP]25 [/SUP]The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
[SUP]26 [/SUP]The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’
Every day I pray and ask god not to allow my stupidity and former transgressions to hide or deplete or distract in any way those I meet who are searching for Him.
If I may be so bold (I do not remember any of your posts), may I offer a few thoughts as a little exhortation. I agree with a few posts you have received on here, the thought that we have to stay and show the Love of Jesus no matter what is an important part of what I am doing here. I answer a lot of posts by private mail as a lot of prayer requests can have a very personal side which the Holy Spirit sometimes brings into focus. I have even had cause to reprimand a brother, but again I used the PM system.
The Church of Jesus Christ is as real as they come and it is in here, as well as in the local building you meet in. We are the church, anyone who accepts Jesus sacrifice on the cross for their sin is a fully paid up member of this exclusive club, but we both know that is only the beginning, we may be a new creation but we then have to learn how to live as one, and its this next bit that confuses me, as we learn and grow into the adulthood of the Holy Spirit (Paul talked about growing in Christ), we are accompanied by the weeds "Let both grow together until the harvest."
so we grow surrounded by these weeds and we see no difference between them and us. We look to Jesus and keep our eyes on Him, we are concerned about our race, the one we are running and not really looking at the others around us until they come back with a cutting remark.
This now becomes a matter of prayer, and we have a scriptural procedure to deal with these things. Firstly we take the matter directly to them. If that does not bring about resolve then, through prayer, the matter is then discussed with two others before returning to the offender. Then if need be the whole church, I understand this might be difficult on here but it would not be impossible.
Mostly we know these people through the fruit of the Spirit in their lives, Jesus said "A good tree can not bring forth bad fruit, likewise a bad tree cannot bring forth good fruit". Knowing peoples fruit on here is a little more difficult, but reading what they write, or the way it is written soon speaks to the Holy Spirit within us, and gives us a bit of a heads up.
Stay true to the leading within, take your fury and turn it into praise, take your anger at being treated so and SHOUT TO THE LORD FOR JOY!! Mat 5 v
[SUP]11 [/SUP]“Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. [SUP]12 [/SUP]Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
It is quite a liberating experience to shout for joy at being mistreated.
Numbers 6 v 24
“The Lord bless you and keep you;
[SUP]25 [/SUP]The Lord make His face shine upon you,
And be gracious to you;
[SUP]26 [/SUP]The Lord lift up His countenance upon you,
And give you peace.”’
D
Davyy
Guest
I am new here so I don't know what you are referring to on CC, but I have been a christian for 20+ years so I have both experienced and observed what your talking about - and hopefully have a little wisdom if you care to receive it.
I don't know you well enough to determine if you are an attention seeker (of the selfish sort). It may be that your just very emotionally hurt and trying to reach out, and while people are hearing you there not really listening/empathizing. On the other hand, in modern/western culture, it's increasing common for people your age to be unstable and/or have an excessive sense of entitlement. In any case I still think it is important for any Christian to be honest with oneself. That takes a bit courage, and courage may require a (deeper) revelation of who you are in Christ and that God is there to help you (not just a stiff upper lip as non-chritsians sometimes advise).
In regards to "self-esteem", you need to be aware that there is alot of confusion over the concepts of "self-esteem", "God-esteem", "confidence", "self-confidence", etc. These words often get 'tossed around' and used inter-changeably. So any conversation you have/may have had in relation to self-esteem can seem frustrating. I have found that people will sometimes say something that seems harsh, when I fact there just not on the same page as you and/or that I have not provided the context in which I was saying things (there are many things in Christianity in which context matters). On the other hand sometimes they were correct, but I took what they were saying to the other extreme, which in turn created fear and anger. Sometimes they were correct, but I felt helpless and had no-one to turn to for help - or if someone was trying help they had good intentions but didn't have the proper skills/experience/finesse to actually be helpful (common in many churches).
The issue is not weather it's ok to feel valuable/confident, the issue is where that value/confidence comes from. At the moment, it sounds like you measure your worth by what you do and/or what others say and do towards you - this is not always a sin, but it is important to grow (many Christians who don't grow in this area eventually backslide). And it is a ongoing process, even pastors who have been in ministry for over 40+ years still have to work on this. However what they have done is become inter-dependent, as opposed to dependent. IDEALLY if every other Christian in the world turned bad and no-one shows any appreciation for his hard work...he may feel hurt (because he is human) but his christian walk would not be destroyed by a lack of confidence, bitterness, fear, anger, etc....IDEALLY. This is particularly important in our day age where confusion/corruption/deception/misinformation/apostasy is growing.
"God-Confidence" is not just about confidence in what God can do or what he promised, in the context of self-esteem, it is also the confidence that what God had said about you it true, no matter what the situation or anyone else says/does. However, one of keys to this is to realize that who you are in Christ and what Christ say about you applies to everything - not just the big things or even current struggles - but to the "little" things as well. In addition God does not call us to think less of ourselves, but to think of ourselves less.
Philippians 2:6-8 MSG: Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.
You should also be aware that alot of leaders have been repeatedly wounded by there own congregations and/or are hurting as well. Although this doesn't excuse there actions, no-one should be surprised that some will behave badly and in most cases one should not take it so personally.
My personal experience (and I think history bears me out on this) is that if you encounter an extreme in the church, it probably got to that extreme because...
- In the past there was a problem with the opposite extreme. For example: some of the "you must hate yourself" talk you may hear started out many years ago as "making are a fallen creation" because many were turning to heresies such as humanism ...and the harsh reality is that many spiritually young Christians get caught in the middle of all this..... and/or
- People are insecure/full of fear about whats happening in the world today.... and/or
- excessive compromise..... and/or
- Some form of corruption developed (corruption is more prevalent in some countries/places then others).
If I have said it once Ive said it 1000 times..."BALANCE!"...and... "Stop trying and compensate for ex-streams - just be a good example"
There is a time and place to move churches (not abandon church), but this should be done
- Having given and taken
- Being honest about your own mistakes/shortcomings
- With lots of prayer (not just feelings)
- For your own spiritual well-being/growth (not just as a protest)
- As last resort (as opposed to an 'easy way out of a problem')
- On as good terms as possible (as opposed to after a big fight with the pastor/other members)
- Preferably AFTER you have found AND carefully checked out another church
- With a little (friendly) notice to the pastor and existing friends.
I could go on, but you probably don't want me to
Besides it's not like I can convey to you 20+ years of experience in one post now.I hope something here has helped...
God Bless
Dave
I used to feel as you do. But long story short, life metaphorically bent me over a lot when I stood tall and proud on my own and now I can't help but to rely on God for everything. Yes, we are all sinners in the church and outside the church and yes sometimes people call themselves christian but have never been revealed anything from the bible either b/c they lack the will to study or b/c they lack the holy spirit to open closed eyes and ears. But to give you some advice if you don't mind. God doesn't care what other people say or do to you, what he cares about is what you say and what you do. Blessed are the peace makers. No one will help you In this life or complete you like God can. If only I had an entire day to tell you my life story to make you understand but I don't. "No one is good but the father" be forgiving of others short fallings and speak words of peace, for you will be judged with the same measure ye meet out. You are forgiven and loved by Christ, seek him and give the same love and forgiveness to others. God is the worker of hearts, no one else. Whatever ales you or your company I will pray for you.
