Avoiding Gossip

[MsMediator]

Where do you draw the line on what is considered gossip?

There are clear examples, such as talking about someone behind their back mainly by spreading rumor.
Examples:
She is missing working a lot because she is in therapy for alcoholism. I heard she can get really drunk.
He has a police record for domestic violence. I wouldn't feel safe around him.

The above statements are obviously negative about the person, and I consider them gossip primarily due to the second sentence. That said, I don't think we should be spreading the first sentence around either to people who do not have a need to know basis. This week, I have had a few people say a few things to me that changed my opinion of the people being discussed. One person mentioned something for my own safety. With the above examples, I think it is good to know for safety reasons.

In the work environments, views on other's ability quickly go around. Such as, he is really smart or he is a bit slow or lazy. I think it is okay to be honest here, but don't be mean like saying he is dumb.

At the same time, there is other types of gossip that may be true, some of which are clearly unkind. I definitely think we should avoid these types of gossip.
Examples:
He farts a lot.
He doesn't shower.
Her house isn't nice.

Thoughts?

 

[kqr_anointed]

also condemning people like ow

 

[GaryA]

also condemning people like ow

???

'ow'? What is 'ow' supposed to mean?

 

[kqr_anointed]

???

'ow'? What is 'ow' supposed to mean?

Not everyone is out to hurt you I guess

 

[GaryA]

Not everyone is out to hurt you I guess

Is everyone out to hurt you?

(I am not out to hurt you - I know that much...)

 

[GaryA]

'ow' like 'ouch'?

- "condemning people" by saying ouch/ow to someone else behind their back?

What do your comments/posts/remarks have to do with 'gossip'???

 

[Suze]

Where do you draw the line on what is considered gossip?

There are clear examples, such as talking about someone behind their back mainly by spreading rumor.
Examples:
She is missing working a lot because she is in therapy for alcoholism. I heard she can get really drunk.
He has a police record for domestic violence. I wouldn't feel safe around him.

The above statements are obviously negative about the person, and I consider them gossip primarily due to the second sentence. That said, I don't think we should be spreading the first sentence around either to people who do not have a need to know basis. This week, I have had a few people say a few things to me that changed my opinion of the people being discussed. One person mentioned something for my own safety. With the above examples, I think it is good to know for safety reasons.

In the work environments, views on other's ability quickly go around. Such as, he is really smart or he is a bit slow or lazy. I think it is okay to be honest here, but don't be mean like saying he is dumb.

At the same time, there is other types of gossip that may be true, some of which are clearly unkind. I definitely think we should avoid these types of gossip.
Examples:
He farts a lot.
He doesn't shower.
Her house isn't nice.

Thoughts?

There's a very good example of this in the novel The Drivers Seat by Muriel Spark and also in The House of Mirth by Edith Wharton .
Sometimes it's hard to avoid hearing gossip about other people , however , it is always a choice to spread gossip .

 

[Deuteronomy]

Thoughts?

Hello MsMediator, the Bible has a lot to say about this (directly and indirectly), yes ?

For instance,

​

Romans 14​

19 We pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. ​

​

Ephesians 4​

29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.​

​

Colossians 3​

8 Now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. ​

​

There are always exceptions, of course, like warning others about someone with whom we have a legitimate concern (as you already mentioned in the OP). Of course, if the source of our concern is unconfirmed gossip, then we need to be sure to let people know that too (even if the concern comes from multiple sources/seems real).

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy (David)

​

 

[Lynx]

Hello MsMediator, the Bible has a lot to say about this (directly and indirectly), yes ?

For instance,

​

Romans 14​

19 We pursue the things which make for peace and the building up of one another. ​

​

Ephesians 4​

29 Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.​

​

Colossians 3​

8 Now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. ​

​

There are always exceptions, of course, like warning others about someone with whom we have a legitimate concern (as you already mentioned in the OP). Of course, if the source of our concern is unconfirmed gossip, then we need to be sure to let people know that too (even if the concern comes from multiple sources/seems real).

God bless you!!

~Deuteronomy (David)

View attachment 276672​

I also like what Proverbs says about it. Where there is no wood, the fire goes out. Likewise where there is nobody running around spreading gossip, strife dies down.

 

[ArtTrees]

Hmm Speculation on something that is not true. Creating a conversation that may put someone else in a negative light. That is where I try to draw the line.

 

[Webers.Home]

There are some things we could say about others that, though true, aren't
necessary; for example were someone at work to inadvertently see one of
the ladies in the office scratching an itch on her derrière; would it really
necessary to go blabbing about it all over the office?

No; and in point of fact, to do so would be libelous, not to mention possibly
in violation of local labor laws banning the fomentation of a hostile
workplace; and these days, it could even be construed as sexual misconduct.
If that lady ever found out there was gossip about her backside she might be
so mortified as to make it difficult for her to show up for work.

Words are weapons,
Sharper than knives.
The Devil Inside
INXS, 1988, Andrew Farriss and Michael Hutchence
_