A
alehandra
Guest
Have you ever thought why do married couple get divorced? How can a relationship that started so sweet and romantic turns into bitter and painful? How do they get from where they were to where they are now? What went wrong? Is there any way to prevent that happen to us? We see, it is hard to find a harmonious and long-lasting marriage these days. The celebrity whose movies we often watch may already have three marriages and they are going to divorce their current spouse. Most of the people are eager to find "the right one" and when they find their spouse isn't "the-right-one-should-be", they find an excuse to break the vow they made on their wedding day. Life has become an endless search for "the other half" and will not find rest until they find one. Reasons for divorce are also varying from unnegotiable differences, unfaithfulness, dishonesty, domestic violence, lack of money, no more love, and many more. I am not going to discuss whether we should or should not divorce out of these various reasons. What I would like to address in this post is to show us the picture of marriage as God has designed it to be. I know the world gives us many examples that is so different than what I want to reveal to you. But could it be the world's way simply does not work so that they end up mostly in heartbreak and divorce? If we want a different result from most of marriages around, we need to take a different role model, a marriage that is designed by God and not human. Before we make any decision that will change our entire life regarding marriage, whether entering marriage or getting out of it, let us move backward and see marriage as God sees it 
Marriage ... in God's eyes is very special. God LOVES marriage. Jesus even made His first miracle, turning water into wine, in a wedding party just to save the party so that it would not ruin. The Bible started with marriage between Adam and Eve, and also will end with a great wedding banquet in heaven. Marriage is very dear to God's heart because it is the kind of relationship that reflects His love to human the most. Jesus consider us, sinful human, as bride while He is the groom. So man plays the role of Jesus while the woman plays the role as the church in a marriage.
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church -for we are members of his body. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. This is a profound mystery -but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband."
Why do I include a long passage here? It's because many people take only part of it but seldom see the whole picture. I found men who demand his wife to respect and submit to him because he is the head of the family. He can use Ephesians 5:22 which says, "Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord" or Ephesians 5:33b which says, "...and the wife must respect her husband." But the question is, "Is it really what God want?" Nope. The verse before Eph 5:22 clearly says, "Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ." How can we submit to one another? What is it look like? How can the head of family submit to his wife?? Let us look at verse 25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.." How does Christ shows love to us (the church)? By dying for us. He sacrificed himself for us. When Paul said, "Husbands, love your wives .." he used the word 'agapao' for 'love'. Agape is the form of love from God to human. Agape is unconditional and sacrificial! Men are called to love with the highest form of love to their wives! Amazing
And what an interesting connection with what Jesus once said, "In this world the kings and great men lord it over them; yet they are called 'friends of the people.' But among you it will be different. Those who are the greatest among you should take the lowest rank, and the leader should be like a servant." (Luke 22:25-26, NLT)
So, what the "head" in the family should do? To serve. The best way to go up is to go down. The best way to lead is to serve. That's what Jesus was saying. He even gave us example though washing His disciples' feet (John 13:1-16). In those days, washing feet is a job of the lowest of the lowest slave who cannot do anything else in the house! There was no way to be heard that a person in upper social hierarchy washed the feet of persons with lower social hierarchy! Jesus turned around the whole system. If we want to lead, serve. Don't call ourselves as the head of family when serving is the least thing we would want to do for our family members. Marriage in God's eyes is our place to practice servanthood. Marriage can only work when what we prioritise the most is "How can I serve my spouse better?" and not "What can you do for me?". It is so important that we should not allow one day even passes without considering how to make our spouse's life happier and easier. Imagine when both husband and wife serve one another daily like this! I bet there is no need divorce between marriage couple anymore. But of course, it won't be easy. It takes us to die for ourselves to serve others. It takes us to let our ego and pride die which makes the only way for love to grow and live. But I never get bored saying this: hard does not mean impossible. It is possible as long as we are willing.
-TO BE CONTINUED-
with love
-cilla-