Being Christian is a whole another breed

[SocialArtist]

Take a look at some of these posts. Ask yourself the following.. do non-believers ask 90% of these questions. No.

A famous athiest once said "Religion messes up everything." As I examined I couldn't help but begin to understand what he meant.

"I've dealt with more peer pressure at church than I ever did in high school or college."

Examine the following.. outside the walls of church.. guy meets girl.. guy and girl consider the following.. simply: do I like this person or not.

Inside the church amongst believers.. guy meets girl.. do I like this person or not + is this the person God wants me to be with.

Difference? A lot more thinking and over thinking goes into this entire process for a Christian. As a Christian raises in church I took to the nightlife in local cities for a period of 2 years. I had just come from constant church groups 2005 - 2008'a end.. and 2009 + 2010 lead me into the world. Not as a non-believer but as an observer.

Of the things I concluded.. I learned I had a higher success rate with a gorgeous and smart non-believers than I did with an average to below average Christian women. I noticed I identified more with non-believers on a personality level. I found most Christian women I had met lacked personality dynamics essential to a healthy relationship. *Noting: I find myself compatible with non-believing women who were compatible with me. I did find a high rate of those women had completely turned me right off. Ultimately, I found a higher chance of meeting a great woman in a classy bar or club than at church.

Here's three of the biggest reasons why christians may be single before we ever diverge into their personalities..

1. Lack thereof
- every just go to a church group, and it's either people are too young or too old, too little people, the people aren't your type, you can't even make a friend let alone find a lover..

2. Location
- who wants to drive 40 minutes to an hour 1-2x per week? You local area is just dry of any social outlets for Christians.

3. Vandalized personalities
- ultimately I take a deep breathe everytime a night is turned somber by some Christian woman deciding to bring up the fact she was previously raped. It's the ultimate momentum killer. Things like this almost always seem to happen when people are pairing off, or about to ask one another out.. and that particular person decides to pull the sympathy card on those nights just as they're beginning to feel left out. All the woman immediately tend to her, it completely just kills flow of the evening.
- New believers.. so many times I've met new girls at church, who are attractive & can foresee a chemistry with.. then she'll share to the group.. her deep rooted insecurity, battle with anxiety, her lack of ability to feel comfortable.. ultimately she's got some much on her plate to contest with that she's prohibited from entering a relationship. In 2005, I'd still pursue these girls.. by 2007 I'd skip town. This is another reason why I'll wait to even meet new women at church until they've had a chance to get acclimated to the group.. learn their personality, who they are.. who they'll make friends with, etc. You run the risk of another guy sweeping her up but ultimately 100% of the time I've concured I wasn't all that interested in her to begin with.

Now out in a club.. these things are just never really brought up outside the 1 on 1 arena. You'll never see a club interrupted by someone's sad story.

Another killer is actually church itself..

1. The Service - You spend over a good hour in worship and sermon listening.. you expend energy on singing and then brain power on listening.. by the time it ends.. you're ready to talk briefly, go home eat or sleep. During worship your forced to confront what troubles or eludes you.. or celebrate what's so great. During the sermon you're forced to look within yourself.. now imagine going out to make friends and date.. and having to go through this every night. That's like going out on a date.. and someone at Chili's makes you both sing, then listen to his lecture for an hour before you can sit down and eat. Then 20-30 people enter the restaurant and interrupt and converse you while you eat. Or worse.. you just want to leave after service but your girlfriend is wrapped up in one church task after another due to social obligation. I once told my friends during a bible study.. "I've dealt with more peer pressure at church than I ever did in high school or college."

2. The Tasks of the Church - Imagine being a non-believer dating someone you met at a upscale bar in the city, and when you enter the head of the place tells you that you'll need to set up, serve drinks and then clean up afterwords. The deal is you can do it with your prospective lover. Well, this is essentially what happens at church. A friend once told me I was out of line for not wanting to serve.. I was like dude.. I came her to make friends.. if I wanna clean I'll clean my house.. if I wanna work.. I'll do it Monday-Friday.

3. You have no friends - so you've gotta go through church services and serving opportunities to make them, your own friends at church pressure you into doing this.. you just want friends and a girlfriend.. but you've got to go through the church in order to do it.

 

[Adrianv125]

Your individual experience and knowledge doesn't apply to the overall reality, just your experience. The world doesn't revolve around you, you are not the only Christian, and for me God has placed a gorgeous woman, who also has an awesome personality and who loves God more than anything else as a very great friend of mine. She knows my feelings and I know hers but we're waiting upon God to show us when to take the next step. I also have some pretty cool friends at the congregation. I suggest you actually submit your whole will and life to the will of God and ask Him to lead you with His Holy Spirit and He will put or take people out of your life for His glory. He's done that for me very well.

 

[Liamson]

He was right about a few things, worldly women are EASIER than Christian women. Dinner + Alcohol = New Girlfriend. I don't have to be anything other than great looking.

However my experience with women of the world and women from churches is very opposite to yours. Women who went clubbing were typically sexually active and emotionally bi-polar train wrecks. Women from Church were deliberately doing all the right things, they weren't playing some emotionally vulnerable card, they didn't struggle with misc addictions. Church women didn't NEED attention or validation from me or even some guy who looks like their Father.

Worldly women are usually pretty one dimensional. They like drinking and various activities associated with being served alcohol. The closest I've seen to being active is doing Yoga and walking to the Dog Park.

Church women are usually physically active in sports leagues and volunteer in the community. They stay busy doing the stuff they love, not finding something silly to blow money on, like a new purse or shoes of a different shade.

Church Women are usually more independent than their worldly counterparts. They actually like traveling to foreign countries and doing adventurous and outdoorsy stuff. Worldly Women like watching Jersey Shore and getting tans while they complain about their loser live in jobless boyfriend.

In the World everything is only skin deep. There the only thing that matters is how someone looks and the appearance of success.

In the Church life is about service, its what each of us can do or how useful we are, thats our measuring stick. We're all like little swiss army knives made to go and do whatever we are moved to do.

 

[SocialArtist]

Your individual experience and knowledge doesn't apply to the overall reality, just your experience. The world doesn't revolve around you, you are not the only Christian, .

And when did I exactly say all of this?

 

[SocialArtist]

He was right about a few things, worldly women are EASIER than Christian women. Dinner + Alcohol = New Girlfriend. I don't have to be anything other than great looking.

However my experience with women of the world and women from churches is very opposite to yours. Women who went clubbing were typically sexually active and emotionally bi-polar train wrecks. Women from Church were deliberately doing all the right things, they weren't playing some emotionally vulnerable card, they didn't struggle with misc addictions. Church women didn't NEED attention or validation from me or even some guy who looks like their Father.

Worldly women are usually pretty one dimensional. They like drinking and various activities associated with being served alcohol. The closest I've seen to being active is doing Yoga and walking to the Dog Park.

Church women are usually physically active in sports leagues and volunteer in the community. They stay busy doing the stuff they love, not finding something silly to blow money on, like a new purse or shoes of a different shade.

Church Women are usually more independent than their worldly counterparts. They actually like traveling to foreign countries and doing adventurous and outdoorsy stuff. Worldly Women like watching Jersey Shore and getting tans while they complain about their loser live in jobless boyfriend.

In the World everything is only skin deep. There the only thing that matters is how someone looks and the appearance of success.

In the Church life is about service, its what each of us can do or how useful we are, thats our measuring stick. We're all like little swiss army knives made to go and do whatever we are moved to do.

Not where I'm from they're not.

 

[SocialArtist]

Your individual experience and knowledge doesn't apply to the overall reality, just your experience. The world doesn't revolve around you, you are not the only Christian, and for me God has placed a gorgeous woman, who also has an awesome personality and who loves God more than anything else as a very great friend of mine. She knows my feelings and I know hers but we're waiting upon God to show us when to take the next step. I also have some pretty cool friends at the congregation. I suggest you actually submit your whole will and life to the will of God and ask Him to lead you with His Holy Spirit and He will put or take people out of your life for His glory. He's done that for me very well.

I'm just really stuck on your reply still.. I mean have you ever dated an American woman before? Does your individual experience and knowledge apply to the overall reality? or just your experience?

You suggest I "actually" submit my whole will and life to the will of God and ask him to lead me? Who says I haven't or he hasn't? You? Do you determine God's will for me and my walk with him?

 

[Adrianv125]

I have dated american women before, but this is not what it's about. In all cultures, not just american, Non-christians and Christians perform their own set of behaviors. All i can say and I'll say no more is quit looking at other people's faults, quit looking at other people's pasts, stop worrying about your singleness because God knows what path he'll lead you through. Everything that happens in your life isn't happening from a personal level, rather spiritual. Those who are led by the Spirit are led by the Spirit, those who are led by satan are led by satan, there is no middle ground. If someone is your brother/sister in Christ love them as God loved you. If we are single, we are single because God has us that way and it is His will. If we have asked for a partner He will provide one if it is His will. And whoever He puts in your life as your partner will be perfect for you in the sense that He knows what is best for you.

 

[SocialArtist]

I have dated american women before, but this is not what it's about. In all cultures, not just american, Non-christians and Christians perform their own set of behaviors. All i can say and I'll say no more is quit looking at other people's faults, quit looking at other people's pasts, stop worrying about your singleness because God knows what path he'll lead you through. Everything that happens in your life isn't happening from a personal level, rather spiritual. Those who are led by the Spirit are led by the Spirit, those who are led by satan are led by satan, there is no middle ground. If someone is your brother/sister in Christ love them as God loved you. If we are single, we are single because God has us that way and it is His will. If we have asked for a partner He will provide one if it is His will. And whoever He puts in your life as your partner will be perfect for you in the sense that He knows what is best for you.

Have no clue what it is about you but you painfully annoy me. I didn't even both reading past your third sentence. Lecture somebody else.

 

[Jullianna]

If all we want are boyfriends/girlfriends, 5 minutes on a barstool would get us that...along with a whole lotta grief/baggage we DON'T want. Seems like people in those situations consider one another to be no more important than a disposable razor...

When we come to the point in our lives when we want more than that, what we are willing to invest in that process is very telling, especially as christians.

P.S. - there are no scriptures forbidding shoe collections