God before I knew what it was to be birthed out,You carried me in your womb, the walls..of your laws
surrounded me. Before even I could choose or discern
a will of my own, you purposed me. Yet in the selectiveness
of your decision, I sought no complaint against my confinement.
Though surrounded I did not feel trapped, in my confession
of how I trusted you, I rested. I didn't need need to see the
food you were supplying with my eyes to know I was fed, nor
did I need anything except your presence to know of your
love.
I could feel your gazing love while in your womb, in its intensity
I would turn, in search of your face I overwhelmingly found
myself surrounded. Certainly, in the stillness of your womb, I at
times thought myself to be alone, so I would jump in your womb,
only to realize you were allowing me to rest in you.
So I began to study your heart, anticipating its every beat to
remain aware of your omnicity. Although my eyes were closed
in your womb, my vision was not obscured, and I was no more
taken away with the exuberance of your love than if I had
beheld the Glory, or if I had seen your face. Then you spoke
to me, my ear, attentively, stood on guard; and my curiosity
was aroused. I did not know from where the voice spoke, but
I did not fear.
Studying your heat I realized that when I'm in your womb,
wherever you are, by default, there I am also. In this new found
truth I stretched out seeking to remain in this place of comfort,
when upon stretching I realized that I had no room to do so.
Therefore I kicked; I had spent my entire time in your womb
studying you, yet I did not know you had been anticipating
my kick. Suddenly everything that gave me comfort seemingly
began to reproach me, and I no longer found comfort in your
womb, therefore your desire was seen upon me in that I am
no longer a child whose only option was you, because in your
womb, I hadn't chosen you, you had chosen me. Instinctively,
I opened my eyes and saw new things, I didn't feel obligated
to keep my legs folded, so I moved them. I now had a choice...
either I could enjoy the ability to stretch and do as I please....
or I could live as if I'm still in the womb. Naturally I again closed
my eyes in fear, in the excitement I now realized I no longer
heard your heart; in doing so I hoped you would return to me,
but as I calmed down I listened, and I heard the beat again,
so thrilled to hear you I opened my eyes....only to realize
that I had not returned to your womb, but yet I still heard
the beating of the heart that gave me rest when your laws
were my dwelling...I sought you, but in my lack of knowledge
for how you operate, I thought you refused to answer, as I began
to pant and weep, the heart beat I heard grew louder and faster...
until in the perplexity of it all, I stopped crying. The sound of a
racing heart still caught my ears more so than that of these
other voices calling to me as if I should know them, but only you
did I know Lord. As I again calmed down, I realized.....that it was
inside me, It wasn't until I had stopped searching for you in what
I saw, as I did in your womb, that I understood this.
In returning to this calmness I began to understand that the
comfort of your presence never left me, it was the chaos of my birth
that made me search for you as if you were not there.
surrounded me. Before even I could choose or discern
a will of my own, you purposed me. Yet in the selectiveness
of your decision, I sought no complaint against my confinement.
Though surrounded I did not feel trapped, in my confession
of how I trusted you, I rested. I didn't need need to see the
food you were supplying with my eyes to know I was fed, nor
did I need anything except your presence to know of your
love.
I could feel your gazing love while in your womb, in its intensity
I would turn, in search of your face I overwhelmingly found
myself surrounded. Certainly, in the stillness of your womb, I at
times thought myself to be alone, so I would jump in your womb,
only to realize you were allowing me to rest in you.
So I began to study your heart, anticipating its every beat to
remain aware of your omnicity. Although my eyes were closed
in your womb, my vision was not obscured, and I was no more
taken away with the exuberance of your love than if I had
beheld the Glory, or if I had seen your face. Then you spoke
to me, my ear, attentively, stood on guard; and my curiosity
was aroused. I did not know from where the voice spoke, but
I did not fear.
Studying your heat I realized that when I'm in your womb,
wherever you are, by default, there I am also. In this new found
truth I stretched out seeking to remain in this place of comfort,
when upon stretching I realized that I had no room to do so.
Therefore I kicked; I had spent my entire time in your womb
studying you, yet I did not know you had been anticipating
my kick. Suddenly everything that gave me comfort seemingly
began to reproach me, and I no longer found comfort in your
womb, therefore your desire was seen upon me in that I am
no longer a child whose only option was you, because in your
womb, I hadn't chosen you, you had chosen me. Instinctively,
I opened my eyes and saw new things, I didn't feel obligated
to keep my legs folded, so I moved them. I now had a choice...
either I could enjoy the ability to stretch and do as I please....
or I could live as if I'm still in the womb. Naturally I again closed
my eyes in fear, in the excitement I now realized I no longer
heard your heart; in doing so I hoped you would return to me,
but as I calmed down I listened, and I heard the beat again,
so thrilled to hear you I opened my eyes....only to realize
that I had not returned to your womb, but yet I still heard
the beating of the heart that gave me rest when your laws
were my dwelling...I sought you, but in my lack of knowledge
for how you operate, I thought you refused to answer, as I began
to pant and weep, the heart beat I heard grew louder and faster...
until in the perplexity of it all, I stopped crying. The sound of a
racing heart still caught my ears more so than that of these
other voices calling to me as if I should know them, but only you
did I know Lord. As I again calmed down, I realized.....that it was
inside me, It wasn't until I had stopped searching for you in what
I saw, as I did in your womb, that I understood this.
In returning to this calmness I began to understand that the
comfort of your presence never left me, it was the chaos of my birth
that made me search for you as if you were not there.
