Block pornography

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Reformyourself

Guest
#61
It is extremely disgusting, and I’m too old for kids 😂
Look at the animal kingdom...they procreate, at a given time ie. spring or when the female is on heat (although we had a mad dog that would mount anything, at anytime lol) ...porn is disgusting
 
G

Godsgirl83

Guest
#63
Good Day!

Unfortunately, my wife and I had to make a very bad discovery. We have found out that our oldest child (13 years old) was watching filthy pornographic videos on the internet. Naturally, we talked to him about this issue and explained the dangers of pornography. He promised to not watch it again, but now realising how sudden such a problem can occur (we are a deeply religious family), I am asking you fellow brothers and sisters for help. We would like to ban all possibilities of pornography from our house, without completely preventing our children from using their smartphones. If someone has a solution, please please help us!

May the Lord protect us.
@jonasnoah

IF you return here, I hope the results to your thread don't chase you away.
Also, I hope and pray that you and your family have been able to find some help and start healing in this area.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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#64
Bear in mind, this person is not even a ‘man’ in the eyes of the law! (In Hebrew tradition he is).
In the Bible he is not. In Leviticus God says what the value of a person is in shekels-a child is someone up to age 20.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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#65
The good thing is...leastways something that I forget at times "consciously", is that the Lord is present and it's not like you can't turn away with his help. Some of these things leave scars, but eventually I think, scars are only a reminder...they don't actively interact except in memory.

Brain plasticity is another piece of good news...but there is some decent evidence that the longer you do something, the less likely your brain can "repurpose" itself completely. An example of this is smoking cigarettes...Depends on the person but it could take a year or it could take 10.

There were times when I took solid breaks from the internet, gaming, phones...I felt a lot better. Almost like eating meat/veggies again vs candy.

I presume that it's worse for children because their brains are still developing...but it can also rebound much more easily so there is that.


I think limiting the interaction is a reasonable move. It's pretty hard to cut it out completely (referring to tech in general). There's a lot of "organic tech" is what I call it. Basically the Lord's technology/programs (ex: plants/animals/nature ;) ) and I don't ever feel guilty if I spend the day out hiking but I do when I play a video game all day.

I mean I'd feel slightly guilty if I had responsibilities that I was blowing off, but feel considerably worse if I blew them off for technology.


Tech also seems to seriously minimalize interpersonal interaction...which is a given, but it can be used interactively it just requires a bit more effort.

I can see how it would be difficult as a parent to curtail technology use in the same way it would be hard to curtail children wanting candy or treats.

A lot of it is just having too much spare time on your hands and being bored. Consequently, this instant gratification "syndrome" can make you bore easily. Tough situation.



I tried to be brief, but there really is tons to say on this topic. It is something that dominates a large block of a lot of people's lives, so it seems somewhat unreasonable that there is not much to be said. Just hard in a forum post to be succinct without cover pages with the pertinent info and then personal thoughts with interaction following. Also, the info is consistently become more available so I mostly just focus on my own personal convictions a lot of times and what scripture suggests or says directly.

Perhaps this is just not the most ideal platform for bulk information. I just know there are some people who the info is what makes the decision for them, and for others it's the conviction...impossible to know sometimes.
But it's idolatry.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
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#66
In my personal experience I will say sexual expression will take effect regardless of internet restrictions. The reason it’s so addictive is because it’s so powerful. We didn’t have internet when I was growing up. It didn’t stop us from finding pornography and girls willing to share themselves for attention. The control has to be based on your son’s desire for purity. Some of my friends told me their sons your son’s age were propositioned by girls for mutual sexual favours. Whether it’s a 13 year old boy or a 30 year old married Christian man. If you don’t make the conscious personal decision to keep your eyes and thoughts pure it’s hopeless. There is no end to way one can find to defile oneself. Think addictions. Usually a control substance is to feel better, or numb pain. What is your son like? Does he appear to be in pain or anxious? Does he like sports? Is he under a lot of pressure? I’m sure because of the Covid isolation there is loneliness. He’s becoming a man now. He doesn’t want to feel like a kid. When children start becoming adults and formulate their own morality and can no longer be bribed or threatened for discipline you will notice a difference in their personality, and not a favourable one. When you push, they will push back, and it won’t be fun. Power struggle is the result. Many parents see their kids make stupid decisions and try to stop them instead of letting them learn. Failure is a fantastic learning tool. I’m not saying throw them to the wolves but arm them with values and wisdom then let them step into the wilderness. Walk a little further behind them and call to them when you see danger. Let them face danger and overcome it. This is what builds independence and fortitude. Let them fall and pick themselves up. With my oldest son (now 16) I tried to make him a better version of me. We would fight and argue, I even thought he might be narcissistic and wondered if he was going to end up in jail. I can’t even describe the transformation that occurred when I backed off. I was making him feel so insecure and afraid. God told me to back off. He said since teens are more influenced by friends than their parents so be a better friend and less a parent. We got a ping pong table and played games together. I got him a job working with me and bought him some tools. We watched movies together and built stuff. Now this child who was failing at school and life, that I thought was going to end up going to jail wants to follow me into the trades. His marks are fantastic and he is very responsible. We have opportunities to talk and he continually asks for advice. Once I allowed him to take ownership of himself he became so much more than I ever expected. Now, I’m not saying you shouldn’t make viewing pornography more difficult but ultimately the decision he makes is going to be the one that he obeys.
It is extremely difficult for single mothers of boys; especially when they have a Dad who allows them smart phones from a young age at his house.
 

Butterflyyy

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2019
1,615
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#68
Good Day!

Unfortunately, my wife and I had to make a very bad discovery. We have found out that our oldest child (13 years old) was watching filthy pornographic videos on the internet. Naturally, we talked to him about this issue and explained the dangers of pornography. He promised to not watch it again, but now realising how sudden such a problem can occur (we are a deeply religious family), I am asking you fellow brothers and sisters for help. We would like to ban all possibilities of pornography from our house, without completely preventing our children from using their smartphones. If someone has a solution, please please help us!

May the Lord protect us.
We have a responsibility before the Lord, what we allow in our children's lives and our homes. If we give evil a place we will reap what we have sown. That has been my experience. It is extremely difficult if they are in mainstream school with secular friends as they perceive you as an unfair parent, and this poisons the relationship. I regret ever having internet or smart-phones for any of my kids- these are things that require adult maturity and also spiritual maturity. Even as adults if we cannot cope with the responsibility of something we should remove it from our lives according to the Word of God.
My grown up kids tell me that their kids will not be having a phone and Internet.
Very difficult times to be raising kids; please help us Lord🙏.
He is faithful.
Thank you for your post.
 
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Reformyourself

Guest
#71
In the Bible he is not. In Leviticus God says what the value of a person is in shekels-a child is someone up to age 20.
That’s interesting-I just read it😔 never read that verse before!
The poor child/boy, all of them, so messed up
 
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Reformyourself

Guest
#72
was searching for a pond pump, and images threw up a photo of Two men in a pornographic image...not even looking for it!!
 

Blade

Well-known member
Nov 19, 2019
1,779
624
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#73
Its not going anywhere. We know how easy it is to find this. And your like.. I can find this this easy.. and they can't? They can ban block a post a tweet a youtube video, facebook..and they can't this? They want it.. heard so many stories about this with some in Washington..and nothing happens. So we know where the fight is.. its not here with man
 
R

Reformyourself

Guest
#74
Its not going anywhere. We know how easy it is to find this. And your like.. I can find this this easy.. and they can't? They can ban block a post a tweet a youtube video, facebook..and they can't this? They want it.. heard so many stories about this with some in Washington..and nothing happens. So we know where the fight is.. its not here with man
We went to Egypt some years ago, and a hotel employee told us that it was blocked there (sure some can find their way around it) they put us to shame 😔
 

Mii

Well-known member
Mar 23, 2019
2,082
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#75
Umm, I'm not in any way supporting it or saying it's alright, I'm merely pointing out that there is a recovery (much like substances) that is possible with discontinued use or deliverance (depending on if it's necessary for a person). No matter what it is adultery, it can go deeper and affect more areas of our relationship with the Lord, but if it's sin on its face, there's no need to illuminate further unless someone has hardened their heart to it.

In which case, I'm willing to have a discussion but until that comes about, I feel that illuminating further is borderline unscriptural and unhelpful if I go too far with how much grace the Lord has had for me...It's different for everyone.

In regard to tech in general, it "can" get to the level of idolatry quite easily...but I don't believe it to be deterministic.
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,889
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#76
Rather than controlling the child which will chip away mutual trust, dad should educate the son about the evils of the porn industry. In other words, to look upon these people as lost individuals coming from broken homes who need help and who are often terribly abused and traffiking victims fed crack to perform, nobody resorts to that kind of employment unless they have serious problems. These are abused or miserable people that are desperate for money or literally enslaved, not objects for gratification and indulgence observing their messed up lives like it was an exhibition. Educating about realities of such life might have a lot more long term influence.
 

Prycejosh1987

Well-known member
Jul 19, 2020
1,016
189
63
#77
Good Day!

Unfortunately, my wife and I had to make a very bad discovery. We have found out that our oldest child (13 years old) was watching filthy pornographic videos on the internet. Naturally, we talked to him about this issue and explained the dangers of pornography. He promised to not watch it again, but now realising how sudden such a problem can occur (we are a deeply religious family), I am asking you fellow brothers and sisters for help. We would like to ban all possibilities of pornography from our house, without completely preventing our children from using their smartphones. If someone has a solution, please please help us!

May the Lord protect us.
Porn is hard to stop watching, because the feeling and images become a part of us, when we absorb these things. You might have to put parental locks on the computer, and really pray on it hard, and find ways the child can get rid of that feeling of wanting to go back to it. Its all brain, and it works in the same way drugs are. Rehab cannot stop a person watching pornography.
 

CS1

Well-known member
May 23, 2012
13,059
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#78
Rather than controlling the child which will chip away mutual trust, dad should educate the son about the evils of the porn industry. In other words, to look upon these people as lost individuals coming from broken homes who need help and who are often terribly abused and traffiking victims fed crack to perform, nobody resorts to that kind of employment unless they have serious problems. These are abused or miserable people that are desperate for money or literally enslaved, not objects for gratification and indulgence observing their messed up lives like it was an exhibition. Educating about realities of such life might have a lot more long term influence.
this is a humanistic approach to addictions. Trafficking, broken homes, abuse, etc.. did not cause Porn. They are the effects of it.

Perversion, lust, stronghold, and addiction . The "victim mentality" places blame on the action, not on the sinner or did the sin.

This is an error. Porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. And if preachers, teachers, fathers, husbands, congressmen, and leaders were not making money off of it or engaging in it. WE could stop this today. Thank God for COVID-19. In India and other places, many of the sex trade going on there is stopping because nobody is wanting to do certain things as that kind of contact. No Money so they are letting go of the women and children because they can feed them.
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,889
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#79
this is a humanistic approach to addictions. Trafficking, broken homes, abuse, etc.. did not cause Porn. They are the effects of it.

Perversion, lust, stronghold, and addiction . The "victim mentality" places blame on the action, not on the sinner or did the sin.

This is an error. Porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. And if preachers, teachers, fathers, husbands, congressmen, and leaders were not making money off of it or engaging in it. WE could stop this today. Thank God for COVID-19. In India and other places, many of the sex trade going on there is stopping because nobody is wanting to do certain things as that kind of contact. No Money so they are letting go of the women and children because they can feed them.
Oh, I've never agreed with making it into a victimhood and removing responsibility when someone is addicted. I agree with you about that.
And of course we know that all this is put into motion by the forces of the air. I was just saying that it not only it is evil in itself but it causes a lot of evil for people who did not even choose they get trapped and enslaved and basically tortured. Pure evil, no one can be okay with this if they care for their neighbor.
 

SoulWeaver

Senior Member
Oct 25, 2014
4,889
2,534
113
#80
this is a humanistic approach to addictions. Trafficking, broken homes, abuse, etc.. did not cause Porn. They are the effects of it.

Perversion, lust, stronghold, and addiction . The "victim mentality" places blame on the action, not on the sinner or did the sin.

This is an error. Porn is a multi-billion dollar industry. And if preachers, teachers, fathers, husbands, congressmen, and leaders were not making money off of it or engaging in it. WE could stop this today. Thank God for COVID-19. In India and other places, many of the sex trade going on there is stopping because nobody is wanting to do certain things as that kind of contact. No Money so they are letting go of the women and children because they can feed them.
Sorry wasn't quite awake when I first responded. After a little coffee...

You're talking about people who willingly participate in the industry. I do not believe they are victims they chose that path, but as most of us have made a bad choice at least once in life I think we should have pity. They are people who made bad choices, and to support pornography is to support their destruction imo. Even a secular person can admit this and for a Christian this is ten times weightier.