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that is illegal you can not put your hands on another persons child Although back in the day you bet your butt would get beat by everyone in the neighborhood if you were out of control... New rules now no touchy anyone's kids nonononono
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Miri
Guest
Children/teens need boundaries, if their parients won't provide them,
then you might have to, at least when it comes to your own property.
I live on a large circular green and last year we had a problem where a group of youths kept
coming on playing football. I didn't mind this, but they kept playing close to my house (why
they didn't have the brains to play in the middle of the green I have no idea). None of them even
lived on the green they lived further down the road.
So the ball kept coming in the garden, they didn't even bother to knock on the door,
they just kept running in and out, trampling the plants and leaving the gate open.
Several times over different weeks, I went out to tell them to move into the middle of the green
but each time they came to play, they came close to the house.
Then one evening the ball hit the window twice, the second time I was waiting and I got the ball
before they did.
They all lined up shouting over the garden hedge asking for their ball back.
I said I would give it back to the parents of the kid who owned the ball, so if they
wanted it back they would have to get the parents to come and get it!
They all ran off and I thought "O lord I hope dad isn't too big!" Lol
Anyway it was mum who came around wanting to know what the problem was, so I told her.
At that point my aunt was also sleeping downstairs in the living room and I said the last thing she
needed was kids running in and out of the garden and footballs hitting the window.
Anyway she told them to play further away from the house and that if they made any
more trouble, she would take the ball off them!
Problem sorted, it never came in the garden again and it didn't this year either when they have been
on the green. So I think they got the message.
Plus....mum started going to my church earlier this year and she has given me lifts home on a
couple of occasions. Never say God doesn't have a sense of humour!
then you might have to, at least when it comes to your own property.
I live on a large circular green and last year we had a problem where a group of youths kept
coming on playing football. I didn't mind this, but they kept playing close to my house (why
they didn't have the brains to play in the middle of the green I have no idea). None of them even
lived on the green they lived further down the road.
So the ball kept coming in the garden, they didn't even bother to knock on the door,
they just kept running in and out, trampling the plants and leaving the gate open.
Several times over different weeks, I went out to tell them to move into the middle of the green
but each time they came to play, they came close to the house.
Then one evening the ball hit the window twice, the second time I was waiting and I got the ball
before they did.
They all lined up shouting over the garden hedge asking for their ball back.
I said I would give it back to the parents of the kid who owned the ball, so if they
wanted it back they would have to get the parents to come and get it!
They all ran off and I thought "O lord I hope dad isn't too big!" Lol
Anyway it was mum who came around wanting to know what the problem was, so I told her.
At that point my aunt was also sleeping downstairs in the living room and I said the last thing she
needed was kids running in and out of the garden and footballs hitting the window.
Anyway she told them to play further away from the house and that if they made any
more trouble, she would take the ball off them!
Problem sorted, it never came in the garden again and it didn't this year either when they have been
on the green. So I think they got the message.
Plus....mum started going to my church earlier this year and she has given me lifts home on a
couple of occasions. Never say God doesn't have a sense of humour!
M
missy2014
Guest
hahaha yall cracking me up i could be silly and have real fun trying to imagine this: as soon as they walk past the door step the 'familiar sermon' comes on 'submit to parental authority' 'caring about others' and 'submit to Parental authority" and then when they go to get off my property its off and then 10 secs later they come back sermon is back a bit like a DJ I guess. Oh and once they go past the door step the volume is REALLY loud then when they start to move away it get quieter like a mouse hahah I like this lol
I might as well make a dj and make a 'techno' song part music part of their favourite sermons
M
missy2014
Guest
yeh thats how my parents would of deal us but yeh New wine is right its illegal and in NZ too.
M
missy2014
Guest
thats how we deal with the birds and our rubbish bags i guess I could say "oh sorry I thought you were a bird my bad!"
M
missy2014
Guest
M
missy2014
Guest
hahaha yall cracking me up i could be silly and have real fun trying to imagine this: as soon as they walk past the door step the 'familiar sermon' comes on 'submit to parental authority' 'caring about others' and 'submit to Parental authority" and then when they go to get off my property its off and then 10 secs later they come back sermon is back a bit like a DJ I guess. Oh and once they go past the door step the volume is REALLY loud then when they start to move away it get quieter like a mouse hahah I like this lol
"personal space" was the other sermon haha
D
Depleted
Guest
I hope you know me enough to realize how different this is than my usual suggestions.
"You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
An alternative to going the legal route/starting WWIII, make friends with them while setting your rules.
They yell and scream on your property? Bring out snacks for them when asking them to quiet down. In the future, if they're quiet, they get snacks. If they're loud, they don't.
Are they destroying your property? Pay them to fix it up. (Also include snacks, when the job is done right.)
Don't need work done? Who in the neighborhood does? Pay them to do that work and make sure they understand it will be inspected before payment, and the approval of the neighbor is required. (Amazing what you can get kids to do for a lot less than skilled labor. lol)
They're kids. You weren't but a kid not too long ago. Can you spend time with them? I was cool back when I played the same video games kids played. Great conversation starter. And, yup, I played with them, if they let me. If I didn't have back pain, I'd be down at the skateboarding park learning from the experts. I learned some info about skateboarding for my novel by asking local SBers. (I'm now the nutty old lady who talked to them instead of yelled at them. lol) It doesn't take much to get on the same wavelength if we but have some connection.
Give them a sense of community. Give them time from one old lady. (Yeah. You. Face it. You're an old lady to kids. lol) And maybe, just maybe, you make friends that won't harass you. (More friends, if you can get them to be the paid help in the neighborhood.)
How about catching the flies instead of adding to the over use of vinegar?
I hope you know me enough to realize how different this is than my usual suggestions.
"You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
An alternative to going the legal route/starting WWIII, make friends with them while setting your rules.
They yell and scream on your property? Bring out snacks for them when asking them to quiet down. In the future, if they're quiet, they get snacks. If they're loud, they don't.
Are they destroying your property? Pay them to fix it up. (Also include snacks, when the job is done right.)
Don't need work done? Who in the neighborhood does? Pay them to do that work and make sure they understand it will be inspected before payment, and the approval of the neighbor is required. (Amazing what you can get kids to do for a lot less than skilled labor. lol)
They're kids. You weren't but a kid not too long ago. Can you spend time with them? I was cool back when I played the same video games kids played. Great conversation starter. And, yup, I played with them, if they let me. If I didn't have back pain, I'd be down at the skateboarding park learning from the experts. I learned some info about skateboarding for my novel by asking local SBers. (I'm now the nutty old lady who talked to them instead of yelled at them. lol) It doesn't take much to get on the same wavelength if we but have some connection.
Give them a sense of community. Give them time from one old lady. (Yeah. You. Face it. You're an old lady to kids. lol) And maybe, just maybe, you make friends that won't harass you. (More friends, if you can get them to be the paid help in the neighborhood.)
How about catching the flies instead of adding to the over use of vinegar?
Even kids can become abusive. Long time ago we once fed poor and hungry kids from our neighborhood. They kept coming back and it came to a point where they banged the door it was scary. You can only help people once, if you do it many times they get abusive.
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Ariel82
Guest
I am confused what exactly are they doing wrong?
I saw a comment about telling one kid to pull up the socks?
Seriously?
Most kids I know would be offended and find it ridiculous to be criticized about how low their socks are.
It's not right for them to come into your yard and insult your family and your nephew. I would tell him to get off my yard.
If he refused I would take out the hose and tell him we had three options.
Option 1: He leave voluntarily and never bother my family again.
Option 2: I shot him with the hose and he never bother my family again.
Option 3: I call the police and fill a harassment report, add vadalism if he decides to destroy anything on my property.
I saw a comment about telling one kid to pull up the socks?
Seriously?
Most kids I know would be offended and find it ridiculous to be criticized about how low their socks are.
It's not right for them to come into your yard and insult your family and your nephew. I would tell him to get off my yard.
If he refused I would take out the hose and tell him we had three options.
Option 1: He leave voluntarily and never bother my family again.
Option 2: I shot him with the hose and he never bother my family again.
Option 3: I call the police and fill a harassment report, add vadalism if he decides to destroy anything on my property.
A
Ariel82
Guest
I hope you know me enough to realize how different this is than my usual suggestions.
"You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."
An alternative to going the legal route/starting WWIII, make friends with them while setting your rules.
They yell and scream on your property? Bring out snacks for them when asking them to quiet down. In the future, if they're quiet, they get snacks. If they're loud, they don't.
Are they destroying your property? Pay them to fix it up. (Also include snacks, when the job is done right.)
Don't need work done? Who in the neighborhood does? Pay them to do that work and make sure they understand it will be inspected before payment, and the approval of the neighbor is required. (Amazing what you can get kids to do for a lot less than skilled labor. lol)
They're kids. You weren't but a kid not too long ago. Can you spend time with them? I was cool back when I played the same video games kids played. Great conversation starter. And, yup, I played with them, if they let me. If I didn't have back pain, I'd be down at the skateboarding park learning from the experts. I learned some info about skateboarding for my novel by asking local SBers. (I'm now the nutty old lady who talked to them instead of yelled at them. lol) It doesn't take much to get on the same wavelength if we but have some connection.
Give them a sense of community. Give them time from one old lady. (Yeah. You. Face it. You're an old lady to kids. lol) And maybe, just maybe, you make friends that won't harass you. (More friends, if you can get them to be the paid help in the neighborhood.)
How about catching the flies instead of adding to the over use of vinegar?
Great ideas but the kids respect folks who stand up for themselves too.
She might be able to win the gang over with honey but only if she puts the ringleader in his place(shows consequences for his actions and makes him apologize...show him grace and forgiveness when he does) show them how not to be afraid of him or it's more fun to follow the rules then break them.
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missy2014
Guest
im sorry if i offended you that wasnt my intention its just an expression I wouldnt go about telling to literally pull up their socks because its thats not an issue .
Pull up your socks means they are being problematic and need to fix the problem their causing basically sort it out . we use this expression alot in NZ . yeh i agree with the rewards with food but i know my parents wouldnt want me wasting food like that.
I go with the clear boundaries and consequences .
True, you cannot put YOUR HANDS on another person's child.
But...
if your whole YARD WAS A CROCODILE PIT...
and the only was to cross the crocodile pit was by a zip line...
PROBLEM SOLVED!
[video=youtube;x1GZYV8Fsgw]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x1GZYV8Fsgw[/video]
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Ariel82
Guest
Oh that makes more sense.
I don't think the food would be wasted if given to hungry children, but it shouldn't be a bribe for them to behave.
I like the idea of offering them jobs like raking the leaves or other yard work and paying them for it.
Would not pay them for fixing what they broke...sends mixed messages and might make them think that crime pays well.
D
Depleted
Guest
Sure. And that's why I suggested putting them to work for money. Nothing teaches you consequences faster than earning the money by needing to do the work right.
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workinprogress
Guest
This is really tricky, sometimes bad neighbors retaliate and escalate things after police is called on them. So just be careful.