Breaking up-how NOT to make it messy

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Dianetheblogger

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Is there such a thing as a "good" break up?
How to break up with someone, and NOT make it messy?

Tips please?
 
do you want to break up with smeone?????????heehe.lol. i think the form of break up determines the degree of the mess but the mess has to be present.
 
be direct, don't wait, don't drag it out, don't beat around the bush, don't rush the conversation and do it at a time you don't have to talk. many people like to do the whole.. 'oh gotta break up with you, but don't have time to talk about it now' because they are uncomfortable and don't want to deal with the person. do them a service, have time to discuss, answer questions and explain yourself thoroughly if need be.
 
Ugly said:
be direct, don't wait, don't drag it out, don't beat around the bush, don't rush the conversation and do it at a time you don't have to talk. many people like to do the whole.. 'oh gotta break up with you, but don't have time to talk about it now' because they are uncomfortable and don't want to deal with the person. do them a service, have time to discuss, answer questions and explain yourself thoroughly if need be.
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Thank you, I appreciate the advice.
You are right, just be straightforward and honest is the way to go.

We've been friends at church even before we became a couple, and I wouldnt want it to be awkward for us to be together at church.

Diane
 
Depends on how you go about it and the maturity of the other party perhaps.

I also agree with the previous posts in their advice.
Good communication and be clear and decisive so the other part doesnt get mixed messages in anyway.

I have heard of horrific breakups where the other party reacts so bad they do truly evil behaviours and criminal actions etc where it is so messy and bad that serious legal action is needed.
but have also heard of mature other party who are able to not behave badly and criminally etc and who are able maintain friendship or atleast go separate ways "on good terms" and then write xmas cards to eachother or what it be.....
 
Even if the other party is heart broken......
they still choose their way of reacting to it.
They choose if they pray, mourne etc but do not behave bad or if they do bad behaviours, threates and criminality etc.
Broken heart , hurting etc but diffferent ways reacting and choosing to behave.

Since you were good friends and both have God?
You should maybe be able to do so in beautiful mature manner.
 
Ugly said:
be direct, don't wait, don't drag it out, don't beat around the bush, don't rush the conversation and do it at a time you don't have to talk. many people like to do the whole.. 'oh gotta break up with you, but don't have time to talk about it now' because they are uncomfortable and don't want to deal with the person. do them a service, have time to discuss, answer questions and explain yourself thoroughly if need be.
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BEST ADVICE TO BE GIVEN.

I had a girl break up with me and waited five days before doing so. And then STILL drug it out. Don't keep him waiting. It is NOT cool. Pleasee. Hahaha.
 
Five days is not so bad.... :)
Know someone had a breakup take years and years...........
(had its reasons though)

and also dont give mixed messages but be very clear and decisive so the other party does not feel confused or think they can have you back or so.

First make your mind up conciously, how you feel, what you want and why and when you then lay that out in good, clear,kind but determined communication the other party can be clear also unless they in denial and react badly.

Thats one of my worst qualities is sounding "assertive" confident and decisive enough.Wanting to be "nice" is one thing but finding the balance of kind but decided and confident and clear.If you sound non confident or trying to be "too nice" that can be missinterpreted and then not seen as a "real breakup".

Best wishes
 
Kinda obvious but dont use technology. Just face to face talking. No texting or phone calls - they only bring mess. Also have relationship checks every so often after the break up. Your relationship after is just as important as during so set up a time every few weeks where you just talk about how you are doing. It really helps to preserve a friendship afterwards.
 
Avoid using any brush-off lines, too...like "We can still be friends". Even if YOU mean it, people hate hearing that and it usually doesn't work anyway. Or, "It's not you, it's me"....what does that even mean, anyway?
 
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