Breakup: could use some encouragement

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princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#1
Hey guys,

I could really use some advice/encouragement rn at this hard time. Let me explain my story so you know what's going on. I have been dating a guy for around 3 years, a guy who was 10 years older to me. I was 15 when I met him and dated him at 17. He was from my church, christian, smart, funny and most of all, loved God. Knowing my parents would disapprove, I was in a "secret" relationship with him, in which he told me not to tell my family or things would end. I loved him more than anything....my first love, put my heart fully towards him and in the process, left God out of it. Through the relationship, he told me that I was the girl he was going to marry, that God sent me to him and would read me the relationship verses in the Bible. Being so young, and even now at 19, I still dont understand why my life led up to this point.

This year, he broke up with me 2 times then came back. During the breakups, he claimed that I was too controlling, manipulating, dint want him to live his life and most of all didn't "care" bout him..when I was literally hiding my whole life from my family. I would lie, sneak out and do all sorts of stuff to meet him so I could make him happy. Distance and age would not allow us to hang as much or know each others friends...also the secret thing.

last month, he broke up with me and claimed all these things I did wrong. He blamed me completely for the breakup and told me he made a mistake being with me. He said he didn't love me "as much" in the second and third year. He said im too immature and he wants to settle down and get married.(hes 29 now). A week after we broke up he went on a date. Today, being a month later he decided to tell me he is dating someone and really likes her. They might get engaged next year. Im broken, devastated and feel so betrayed for being left like this. After all my lying, sneaking and trying to please him, he just left me...the one person I trusted the most in my entire life. He is with someone else in 1 month guys!!!! I thought being christian, he wouldnt have done something like that to me or Hurt me like this. I trust in God and know that he is out of my life for a reason....but I get anxious and depressed with the thought of him being with someone else. Especially cause its so soon.

I dont know how I will see his wedding pics...engagement...whatever else. He is a family friend btws making this situation a whole lot worse than it is. I feel helpless.
 

blue_ladybug

Senior Member
Feb 21, 2014
70,860
9,579
113
#2
From the sound of it, you're much better off without him. HE sounds like a true game-player, and a manipulative one at that. He's almost 30, you're only 19 and he's old enough to be your uncle.. :/ In a way, he's right: you are too immature for him at this age. He's a grown man, and you're a young girl. But he is immature also, so don't feel bad. Be thankful that God took you away from this jerk, and a lifetime of regret.. God has something better in mind for you, I guarantee it. :)
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#3
Sorry to hear. I have no encouragement but I've been there before too.. People with good intentions don't start by lying and keeping secrets.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#4
well I mean I lied and hid it cause I knew it was wrong at the time...but thats only cause I loved him a lot and knowing he was christian, I trusted that he would never hurt me.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#5
yeah I hope so! I just really need to find a way to let go of him and stop worrying and stressing hoping he will come back. I mean I know hes in a relationship rn but its just so soon. I am completely lost and feel so alone...especially cause no-one knows about it.
 
U

Ugly

Guest
#6
well I mean I lied and hid it cause I knew it was wrong at the time...but thats only cause I loved him a lot and knowing he was christian, I trusted that he would never hurt me.
Well, this here is the basis of everything. A fundamental understanding of what him claiming to be a Christian is. He is so Christian and so wonderful... even when he convinces me to lie, sneak and disobey my parents so we can date. Hit the brakes. The guy who encouraged disobedience to your parents, and to God, and encouraged you to lie and hide things has surprised you that he's hurt you? The entire basis of this relationship was founded on his dishonesty and disobedience, an that was all thinly veiled behind a few spiritual words and scripture. Even got you to make an idol of him by setting him before God. By his very actions he proved he is no Christian and no real man. You got here because you chose to ignore the warnings.

And that's not said to put you down. It's something we are All guilty of at one time or another. But before any real growth or healing can begin we first need to admit when our own choices put us into bad situations, rather than blaming others. Sure, he was dishonest, but he showed himself, time and time again, to be dishonest, and you ignored it. Not once, or twice, but for years. So you Do hold some level of responsibility here.

The good news is, you are no longer with this... male. You didn't see him for who he really was and missed the signs, so now he's showing you the kind of person he's been this whole time, in a Much clearer way. You have actually been spared from having to endure such a manipulator any longer. I have been in relationships that, after it ended, a little further down the line, i see how good it is that it ended, even if it was painful at the time.

And i say all this from experience. I once dated a woman and went to visit her in another state. During one visit we began having problems, but both decided not to make any decisions for a while, about our relationship. 12 hours later she broke up with me. I was trapped at her house, as i was waiting on her to give me money to drive home, which she didn't have. During all this i was sick and a day later ended up spending 10 days in the hospital. She came to visit me... always late. And left early. If she came at all. And always wanted to know 'do you still love me?'. While i'm laying in a hospital bed... a day after she dumped me. When i said i didn't know how i felt, i was too sick she got angry.
Long story short, i got away from her. It was painful. Now, as i look back i ask myself 'why were you with her?'. I dodged a bullet. What once broke me is now something i'm grateful happened. Chances are, one day, you will look back on this and be grateful you aren't with him either.

And if you want to feel bad for anyone, feel bad for his fiance. Look at what she's getting herself into. She's not lucky, she's about to be cursed. And you can guarantee that marriage will not last.
 
Z

Zi

Guest
#7
I know. That's the problem. Had he loved you, he wouldn't have in any way went along with it. Again sorry to hear
well I mean I lied and hid it cause I knew it was wrong at the time...but thats only cause I loved him a lot and knowing he was christian, I trusted that he would never hurt me.
 

Desertsrose

Senior Member
Oct 24, 2016
2,824
207
63
#8
yeah I hope so! I just really need to find a way to let go of him and stop worrying and stressing hoping he will come back. I mean I know hes in a relationship rn but its just so soon. I am completely lost and feel so alone...especially cause no-one knows about it.
Hi princess,

I'm so sorry you had to experience this!

I hope what I say will be helpful in the future.

If a man wants to date you secretly, allow that to be a red flag. You know it today, but let's say you meet another guy you fall for, please don't allow the relationship to be a secret.

When the right man comes along, he will want an open relationship and he'll want to tell the world about his new-found love.

Embrace Jesus as your first love and submit your life to Him in all you do. In prayer you would have realized something was amiss way before you got so entangled in this relationship.

That's what Jesus does, He protects and He guides us into all truth. Unfortunately this relationship was not based on love because there was no truth as its foundation. I hope you see that so that you'll be protected in the future.

I think it would be really helpful for you right now to get into a bible study and get to know the Lord and His ways. We all need to grow and mature in the ways of the Lord so that we can be strong and fight against the enemy when he rears his ugly head (but looks beautiful).

You're young and the enemy tricked you to believe this man is a good Christian.

This may sound pat, but you're never alone. The Lord is always there with you and He wants to bring you comfort. As you read His word, it will speak to the born-again person in you - in your spirit and will help you to grow in His wisdom and knowledge.

Cry out to the Lord and He will hear you. Again, so sorry you had to go through this without your parents or family knowing what was going on.

Hugs and love in Christ!
 
T

Tinuviel

Guest
#9
Hey guys,

I could really use some advice/encouragement rn at this hard time. Let me explain my story so you know what's going on. I have been dating a guy for around 3 years, a guy who was 10 years older to me. I was 15 when I met him and dated him at 17. He was from my church, christian, smart, funny and most of all, loved God. Knowing my parents would disapprove, I was in a "secret" relationship with him, in which he told me not to tell my family or things would end. I loved him more than anything....my first love, put my heart fully towards him and in the process, left God out of it. Through the relationship, he told me that I was the girl he was going to marry, that God sent me to him and would read me the relationship verses in the Bible. Being so young, and even now at 19, I still dont understand why my life led up to this point.

This year, he broke up with me 2 times then came back. During the breakups, he claimed that I was too controlling, manipulating, dint want him to live his life and most of all didn't "care" bout him..when I was literally hiding my whole life from my family. I would lie, sneak out and do all sorts of stuff to meet him so I could make him happy. Distance and age would not allow us to hang as much or know each others friends...also the secret thing.

last month, he broke up with me and claimed all these things I did wrong. He blamed me completely for the breakup and told me he made a mistake being with me. He said he didn't love me "as much" in the second and third year. He said im too immature and he wants to settle down and get married.(hes 29 now). A week after we broke up he went on a date. Today, being a month later he decided to tell me he is dating someone and really likes her. They might get engaged next year. Im broken, devastated and feel so betrayed for being left like this. After all my lying, sneaking and trying to please him, he just left me...the one person I trusted the most in my entire life. He is with someone else in 1 month guys!!!! I thought being christian, he wouldnt have done something like that to me or Hurt me like this. I trust in God and know that he is out of my life for a reason....but I get anxious and depressed with the thought of him being with someone else. Especially cause its so soon.

I dont know how I will see his wedding pics...engagement...whatever else. He is a family friend btws making this situation a whole lot worse than it is. I feel helpless.
Uh...YOU'RE the controlling one?? From what you said, it doesn't sound like it was a healthy relationship. You'll heal. God has a plan. Are you going to college/university? Throw yourself into whatever you're doing and try to put it behind you as soon as possible. I'd also recommend telling your parents or family. I know for me it would help me heal if I had that support group.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#10
Well, this here is the basis of everything. A fundamental understanding of what him claiming to be a Christian is. He is so Christian and so wonderful... even when he convinces me to lie, sneak and disobey my parents so we can date. Hit the brakes. The guy who encouraged disobedience to your parents, and to God, and encouraged you to lie and hide things has surprised you that he's hurt you? The entire basis of this relationship was founded on his dishonesty and disobedience, an that was all thinly veiled behind a few spiritual words and scripture. Even got you to make an idol of him by setting him before God. By his very actions he proved he is no Christian and no real man. You got here because you chose to ignore the warnings.

And that's not said to put you down. It's something we are All guilty of at one time or another. But before any real growth or healing can begin we first need to admit when our own choices put us into bad situations, rather than blaming others. Sure, he was dishonest, but he showed himself, time and time again, to be dishonest, and you ignored it. Not once, or twice, but for years. So you Do hold some level of responsibility here.

The good news is, you are no longer with this... male. You didn't see him for who he really was and missed the signs, so now he's showing you the kind of person he's been this whole time, in a Much clearer way. You have actually been spared from having to endure such a manipulator any longer. I have been in relationships that, after it ended, a little further down the line, i see how good it is that it ended, even if it was painful at the time.

And i say all this from experience. I once dated a woman and went to visit her in another state. During one visit we began having problems, but both decided not to make any decisions for a while, about our relationship. 12 hours later she broke up with me. I was trapped at her house, as i was waiting on her to give me money to drive home, which she didn't have. During all this i was sick and a day later ended up spending 10 days in the hospital. She came to visit me... always late. And left early. If she came at all. And always wanted to know 'do you still love me?'. While i'm laying in a hospital bed... a day after she dumped me. When i said i didn't know how i felt, i was too sick she got angry.
Long story short, i got away from her. It was painful. Now, as i look back i ask myself 'why were you with her?'. I dodged a bullet. What once broke me is now something i'm grateful happened. Chances are, one day, you will look back on this and be grateful you aren't with him either.

And if you want to feel bad for anyone, feel bad for his fiance. Look at what she's getting herself into. She's not lucky, she's about to be cursed. And you can guarantee that marriage will not last.
Thank you so much for ur advice...this really made me feel better! I mean in terms of being a christian....he was a leader of a youth group...would pray down on his knees in front of me...read the bible everyday and idk...I think he is a good christian and did follow Jesus and God...but the way he's been treating me off late and the fact that hes dating someone else so soon is just so disturbing and so hurtful for me to process. Everyday I wake up thinking about the way he used to be with me and how now hes out there with someone else. Its a crazy feeling and makes me absolutely insane ! He even compared me today to this new girl and told me how she makes him happy and the things she does that I didn't to make her sound better....I feel that he may have been cheating on me before cause it is not possible to love someone new and move on from someone that quickly. I just dont know who to trust anymore !
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#11
Uh...YOU'RE the controlling one?? From what you said, it doesn't sound like it was a healthy relationship. You'll heal. God has a plan. Are you going to college/university? Throw yourself into whatever you're doing and try to put it behind you as soon as possible. I'd also recommend telling your parents or family. I know for me it would help me heal if I had that support group.
Yes I am in university but its very hard for me to focus on it because of all this ! its terrible..this feeling of loosing the one thing (besides Jesus) that I had and depended on so much ..first person in my life ! I know God has a plan for me and did this so that in the future I will be happy...but im just so hurt by the way this happened and the way im being treated right now. Yes it was very unhealthy as it was a hidden relationship...making it worst now cause no-one knows the true person he is and the way he treated me..noone will ever know. I unfortunately cant tell my parents as we are try good family friends. I dont want to ruin the relationship our families have by exposing this especially because I am so young...my parents would be very hurt and it may ruin my relationship with them as well.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#12
Hi princess,

I'm so sorry you had to experience this!

I hope what I say will be helpful in the future.

If a man wants to date you secretly, allow that to be a red flag. You know it today, but let's say you meet another guy you fall for, please don't allow the relationship to be a secret.

When the right man comes along, he will want an open relationship and he'll want to tell the world about his new-found love.

Embrace Jesus as your first love and submit your life to Him in all you do. In prayer you would have realized something was amiss way before you got so entangled in this relationship.

That's what Jesus does, He protects and He guides us into all truth. Unfortunately this relationship was not based on love because there was no truth as its foundation. I hope you see that so that you'll be protected in the future.

I think it would be really helpful for you right now to get into a bible study and get to know the Lord and His ways. We all need to grow and mature in the ways of the Lord so that we can be strong and fight against the enemy when he rears his ugly head (but looks beautiful).

You're young and the enemy tricked you to believe this man is a good Christian.

This may sound pat, but you're never alone. The Lord is always there with you and He wants to bring you comfort. As you read His word, it will speak to the born-again person in you - in your spirit and will help you to grow in His wisdom and knowledge.

Cry out to the Lord and He will hear you. Again, so sorry you had to go through this without your parents or family knowing what was going on.

Hugs and love in Christ!
Thank you so much for this ! I could really use all this encouragement right now. I know Jesus took me out of his life for a reason and I know that soon I will be happy and my heart will be filled with the love of God instead of the love of man. Unfortunately at this point, I am broken and theres a huge weight in my heart. I want to be completely free from this pain and never think about this person ever again. I do believe he is a good christian as he loved Jesus and was the leader of a youth group but at the same time, he did do wrong to me and lied to me about marriage and all that stuff. Its hard..and idk why he did that.
 
S

SweetmorningDew78

Guest
#13
Hi! Princess :)

You are 19... You are so young...and there's still plenty of good things waiting for you in the future...

I am 39 and will turn 40 soon... I give myself 5 years more...if somebody will come into my life within 5 years I'll settle down...if nobody...then I will embrace the fact that I will be single until the day God calls me home.

I will tell you a bit of my 6 years love story (my first bf in my 39 years )..after 6 long years I finally said I am leaving him( I want you to know that we didn't live together) He protested but i stand firm with my decision.

He doesn't want to let me go... He wants me to stay with him.
Before that we had a very serious talk about where our relationship is heading...if He has plan to marry me...and he answered me that he doesn't believe in marriage...and he has no plan to get married now or in the future.

It hurts and couldn't believe what he was telling me...he lied to me...he told me last year that he will going to marry me this year(June) but it was cancelled because he broke up with me...and after so many months he asked me back again and i accepted him again although during our 6 years being together I know deep down in my heart there's something that is not right but decided to ignore it. He lied to me many times that includes his age I found out that he is actually 10 years younger than me...saw his passport only last year...when I finally have decided to check it to confirm my doubt...how can I leave? I invested so much time and emotions in our relationship already.I was thinking about the 5 long years to throw it away just because I dislike to have a relationship with a person younger than me..I forgave hiim but that was not the only lie...I found out many of his lies and forgave him silently without confronting him.


After our trip I was waiting for him to talk about our plan last year but he didn't say anything about it...I asked him again about it and that's what he said... He wants me but He doesn't want to commit with me... I have to make a decision...I let him go...it hurts me...but I cant blame him it was not all his faults...big part of it ,was my fault... I have held onto him for so long and ignores all the red flags... I ignored everything because I was driven by my emotion... I gave him endless chances until after how many days of praying and asking the Lord to reveal to me if this relationship is for me I asked God to open my eyes,my ears and my heart.

The process is painful. The break up rips my heart out...no words can erase this pain at this moment but I am very confident that this too will pass.


Princess,it will never be easy...to some people moving on is easy...in some it will take sometime...just be patient with yourself...It hurts but as many people say... pain makes us wiser,braver and stronger. Pain makes you value your relationship more in the future. You love better and more forgiving :)



Princess someday when you meet that person you will understand why things didn't work with everyone else :)


And Hey! You don't have to fake your emotion...cry if you feel like crying...shout if you feel like shouting(but do this when no one is around or else you will scare the people around you :D ) and you know what there's one secret that I do when the pain rushes into my system ... I praise God and thank God for this pain and ask HIM to hold me tight :)






God bless you lil sis ❤ I'll include you in my prayers ❤
 
Last edited:
R

renewed_hope

Guest
#14
Yes I am in university but its very hard for me to focus on it because of all this ! its terrible..this feeling of loosing the one thing (besides Jesus) that I had and depended on so much ..first person in my life ! I know God has a plan for me and did this so that in the future I will be happy...but im just so hurt by the way this happened and the way im being treated right now. Yes it was very unhealthy as it was a hidden relationship...making it worst now cause no-one knows the true person he is and the way he treated me..noone will ever know. I unfortunately cant tell my parents as we are try good family friends. I dont want to ruin the relationship our families have by exposing this especially because I am so young...my parents would be very hurt and it may ruin my relationship with them as well.
Have you thought about seeing a school counselor about this? It would help to talk to someone about your feelings and emotions before they take it's toll on you.

I promise, you will find someone who will treat you like the princess that you are, just keep on holding to your faith
 

ToGoFruit

Junior Member
Oct 5, 2017
11
1
0
#15
Hey guys,

I could really use some advice/encouragement rn at this hard time. Let me explain my story so you know what's going on. I have been dating a guy for around 3 years, a guy who was 10 years older to me. I was 15 when I met him and dated him at 17. He was from my church, christian, smart, funny and most of all, loved God. Knowing my parents would disapprove, I was in a "secret" relationship with him, in which he told me not to tell my family or things would end. I loved him more than anything....my first love, put my heart fully towards him and in the process, left God out of it. Through the relationship, he told me that I was the girl he was going to marry, that God sent me to him and would read me the relationship verses in the Bible. Being so young, and even now at 19, I still dont understand why my life led up to this point.

This year, he broke up with me 2 times then came back. During the breakups, he claimed that I was too controlling, manipulating, dint want him to live his life and most of all didn't "care" bout him..when I was literally hiding my whole life from my family. I would lie, sneak out and do all sorts of stuff to meet him so I could make him happy. Distance and age would not allow us to hang as much or know each others friends...also the secret thing.

last month, he broke up with me and claimed all these things I did wrong. He blamed me completely for the breakup and told me he made a mistake being with me. He said he didn't love me "as much" in the second and third year. He said im too immature and he wants to settle down and get married.(hes 29 now). A week after we broke up he went on a date. Today, being a month later he decided to tell me he is dating someone and really likes her. They might get engaged next year. Im broken, devastated and feel so betrayed for being left like this. After all my lying, sneaking and trying to please him, he just left me...the one person I trusted the most in my entire life. He is with someone else in 1 month guys!!!! I thought being christian, he wouldnt have done something like that to me or Hurt me like this. I trust in God and know that he is out of my life for a reason....but I get anxious and depressed with the thought of him being with someone else. Especially cause its so soon.

I dont know how I will see his wedding pics...engagement...whatever else. He is a family friend btws making this situation a whole lot worse than it is. I feel helpless.

Hey, I'm so sorry you had to go through this heartbreak. When an event like this blindsides us, it can be a devastating blow to our emotional/mental system. It's good to see you're trying to give this up to God though--sometimes, when we don't have the answers, we're forced to lean into Him, but I think He calls us to do so...keep this posture with Him. I think He probably wants to show you things through this experience as well as draw you back; draw you near to Him.

I believe there are things we can learn from during these hard moments--I'd encourage you to seek these out, but don't beat yourself up...ask God to show you what He has for you in all of this, and take those positives forward into the next stage.

As for the continued presence of your ex, I would do your best to separate yourself from anything relating to him and try your best to avoid social media. This will only slow down the healing process and potentially hurt you on a deeper level.
 
L

Lauralou

Guest
#16
I am really sorry about your situation. Breakups are hard and I understand why you feel the way you do. Please know that I am praying for you to heal and that God will make good from this situation.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#17
Hi! Princess :)

You are 19... You are so young...and there's still plenty of good things waiting for you in the future...

I am 39 and will turn 40 soon... I give myself 5 years more...if somebody will come into my life within 5 years I'll settle down...if nobody...then I will embrace the fact that I will be single until the day God calls me home.

I will tell you a bit of my 6 years love story (my first bf in my 39 years )..after 6 long years I finally said I am leaving him( I want you to know that we didn't live together) He protested but i stand firm with my decision.

He doesn't want to let me go... He wants me to stay with him.
Before that we had a very serious talk about where our relationship is heading...if He has plan to marry me...and he answered me that he doesn't believe in marriage...and he has no plan to get married now or in the future.

It hurts and couldn't believe what he was telling me...he lied to me...he told me last year that he will going to marry me this year(June) but it was cancelled because he broke up with me...and after so many months he asked me back again and i accepted him again although during our 6 years being together I know deep down in my heart there's something that is not right but decided to ignore it. He lied to me many times that includes his age I found out that he is actually 10 years younger than me...saw his passport only last year...when I finally have decided to check it to confirm my doubt...how can I leave? I invested so much time and emotions in our relationship already.I was thinking about the 5 long years to throw it away just because I dislike to have a relationship with a person younger than me..I forgave hiim but that was not the only lie...I found out many of his lies and forgave him silently without confronting him.


After our trip I was waiting for him to talk about our plan last year but he didn't say anything about it...I asked him again about it and that's what he said... He wants me but He doesn't want to commit with me... I have to make a decision...I let him go...it hurts me...but I cant blame him it was not all his faults...big part of it ,was my fault... I have held onto him for so long and ignores all the red flags... I ignored everything because I was driven by my emotion... I gave him endless chances until after how many days of praying and asking the Lord to reveal to me if this relationship is for me I asked God to open my eyes,my ears and my heart.

The process is painful. The break up rips my heart out...no words can erase this pain at this moment but I am very confident that this too will pass.


Princess,it will never be easy...to some people moving on is easy...in some it will take sometime...just be patient with yourself...It hurts but as many people say... pain makes us wiser,braver and stronger. Pain makes you value your relationship more in the future. You love better and more forgiving :)



Princess someday when you meet that person you will understand why things didn't work with everyone else :)


And Hey! You don't have to fake your emotion...cry if you feel like crying...shout if you feel like shouting(but do this when no one is around or else you will scare the people around you :D ) and you know what there's one secret that I do when the pain rushes into my system ... I praise God and thank God for this pain and ask HIM to hold me tight :)






God bless you lil sis ❤ I'll include you in my prayers ❤
Hey...thank you so much for ur advice! im glad I found this website so that people like u can help me feel better and give me hope:) As days ago by, I do feel slightly better although I do miss him a lot...not sure why tho after the way he treated me. Today was the first day after we broke up that I didn't message him and it was so hard! not having this person in my life is so painful but knowing hes with another girl right now makes it a whole lot worse. Thank you for helping me and im sure God has a purpose and plan for ur life! He is going to bring the right man at the right time...someone who loves u and loves God as well! :) U sound like an amazing person:) Keep being an example of Jesus to everyone u meet and dont give up on God's plan for ur life!
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#18
I am really sorry about your situation. Breakups are hard and I understand why you feel the way you do. Please know that I am praying for you to heal and that God will make good from this situation.
Thank you so much! I hope God heals my heart quickly so I can get over this man as fast as possible. 3 years is a lot of time spent with someone to just forget and move on. Ive been talking to him for 4 years so its quite a crazy feeling im going through right now.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
0
1
#19
I am really sorry about your situation. Breakups are hard and I understand why you feel the way you do. Please know that I am praying for you to heal and that God will make good from this situation.
Thank you so much! I hope God heals my heart quickly so I can get over this man as fast as possible. 3 years is a lot of time spent with someone to just forget and move on. Ive been talking to him for 4 years so its quite a crazy feeling im going through right now.
 

princessca

Junior Member
Oct 10, 2017
25
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#20
Hey, I'm so sorry you had to go through this heartbreak. When an event like this blindsides us, it can be a devastating blow to our emotional/mental system. It's good to see you're trying to give this up to God though--sometimes, when we don't have the answers, we're forced to lean into Him, but I think He calls us to do so...keep this posture with Him. I think He probably wants to show you things through this experience as well as draw you back; draw you near to Him.

I believe there are things we can learn from during these hard moments--I'd encourage you to seek these out, but don't beat yourself up...ask God to show you what He has for you in all of this, and take those positives forward into the next stage.

As for the continued presence of your ex, I would do your best to separate yourself from anything relating to him and try your best to avoid social media. This will only slow down the healing process and potentially hurt you on a deeper level.
Thank you:) Yes I have blocked him on social media and have stopped texting him. He never messages me and I guess has moved on now to the new girl. He also yesterday told me that the other girl is so much more understanding and mature than I am...and how she is better...he is such a bad person and I was never able to see this before. So glad God has taken him out of my life! Hope I can move on soon and see the brighter side of life than this point right now.