Broken marriage

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DustyRusty

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My marriage is in trouble. I have made some mistakes the last few years in our marriage and I ask for forgiveness everyday. I still struggle from time to time. I know my wife hurt and angry with me. I also know that I owe her a life time of apologies. I miss my wife. I feel like I have to be her outlet for her anger. Am I right?
 
DustyRusty said:
My marriage is in trouble. I have made some mistakes the last few years in our marriage and I ask for forgiveness everyday. I still struggle from time to time. I know my wife hurt and angry with me. I also know that I owe her a life time of apologies. I miss my wife. I feel like I have to be her outlet for her anger. Am I right?
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Hi DustyRusty
Sorry for the tough situation in your marriage. You ask if you have to be her outlet for her anger, the answer is no. However, just reading what you have written, its understandable that she is angry.
If you are really sorry for the pain that you have caused her then you will have to get your life and your marriage back on track with God. Get your focus on God and God will change your heart so that the meditations of your heart will be pleasing in God's eyes. Then your wife will see the changes in you. Put your trust in God and He will restore your marriage and bring her back to you.
In every relationship, it is vital to always look at ourselves. Number 1 priority is "Where am I in my relationship with God?"
On what foundation are we building our house? - On Sand or on the rock?
I am saying this because I know what it is like to have problems in a marriage. I spent 30 years in a difficult marriage and now it is getting better and better. Not because I am better, but because my relationship with God is stronger and with Christ in me & helping, my focus is more on spiritual things than on the things of this world. And the biggest thing that is needed is the Love of Christ. Love binds and builds through Christ.
I pray for you to grow in God and your marriage to be restored.
God bless

 
DustyRusty said:
My marriage is in trouble. I have made some mistakes the last few years in our marriage and I ask for forgiveness everyday. I still struggle from time to time. I know my wife hurt and angry with me. I also know that I owe her a life time of apologies. I miss my wife. I feel like I have to be her outlet for her anger. Am I right?
Click to expand...

You have to sleep in the bed you have made.

Remember though that today is a new day and you can make new decisions and if you be truthful you can then take the action of those decision.

Is there a root of bitterness in you? A root of bitterness is a root of unforgiveness which leads to a bad end.

So there are two things to keep in mind.

1. Don't be bitter when wronged but rather forgive.
2. Do what you know is right from now on.

These two things will lead to a good end.

This is the way of Jesus.
 
your wife's unforgiveness will either take hold of her or she will finally let go of it... God sees your patience and long suffering... be strengthened in Christ. Please know that you should not allow your wife to rule over you... just because you hurt her. You are still responsible to to be the HEAD of your household... and in asserting this... she may be even angrier but you CANNOT expect God to bless you if you do not obey his principals of leadership and authority... nor will capitualting to her anger cause her to respect you ever again... you can be empathetic and still LEAD. Guilt driven passivism is inappropriate..
 
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So sorry you and your wife are struggling! No, you do not have to be the outlet for anyone's anger.

Try to get her to be specific about what is making her angry...sometimes our frustrations spill out on our spouses and that just isn't right. So as lovingly as you can, get her to talk about what is bothering her. She may have to talk through it before she realizes herself what's going on in her head.
 
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