Brother is being abused

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Harley_Angel

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I don't know what to do. My little brother is 16. He is headstrong, has a sass mouth, and doesn't like doing as he's told. His grades suffer because, even though he is brilliant, he's lazy. That being said, he is still a good kid. He doesn't smoke, doesn't have sex, doesn't do drugs, or drink, or steal. He sneaks out of the house to go play guitar in the park, which, while is breaking the rules, isn't the worse that can happen.

My stepfather (my brother's biological father) smoked weed throughout my entire adolescence. He was always very angry, very stubborn, and emotionally abusive. He never hit me, and other than yelling at me and making me feel worthless all the time, there was never any physical violence.

He has stopped smoking pot and has picked up drinking instead. When my brother disobeys, my dad screams and yells and calls him worthless and lazy. My brother gets defensive and incites my dad's anger, but this time, my dad went TOO far. I don't care if my brother sass mouthed him, or was rude, or confrontational, and adult should NEVER hit their child, throw them into a wall, and then smack them while they are on the ground. NEVER. I know he was drunk, and angry, but that isn't how a person reacts. Adam is a 16 year old boy and obnoxious as any other 16 year old.

I don't know what to do. My mother, also an alcoholic, just doesn't care. All she wants to do is go to work, come home, and go to bed. She doesn't want to deal with the drama because if she tries, it means she'll end up leaving my dad again, and she can't afford it. So instead, she leaves my brother to fend for himself. She always did that to me, too. Never ever stood up for us.

Now all my brother has is me, and I'm a 16 hour drive away with a job managing 3 stores and a husband and household of my own to take care. I don't know what my options are with him. I can't take him out of school. I'm not sure I have enough proof of abuse and negligence to get custody of him, not to mention he'll be 18 in only 2 years. He just made Esprit (our school's award winning dance and singing club) which has been his dream for YEARS. I can't bring him to live with me because I've got a single bedroom apartment, no clue how to get him into school down here, plus he doesn't want to leave his friends and band and Esprit. I can't move back up there because I've got a job and husband.

Does anybody know what can be done in this type of situation? Legally? Right now he's staying with some neighbors, but I know it's an incredible burden on them since they have a 16 year old, a 7 year old, and a 4 year old. I don't want him tossed between neighbors and friends, always feeling like he's in their way.

Please pray for us, I just, I don't know how things are going to play out, and I'm so worried about him.
 
Hi There, You really do have a good spirit, I admire that! Really for a child to learn right from wrong, they have to be brough up correctly in a loving enviroment. I know what alcohol can do to people, it can kill and also hurt others so bad. Unless your dad knows he has a problem with drink, its best to lie low for a while. If you dad is hitting your son and yourself for that matter. maybe you can tell a child protection agency, or even tell someone in higher authority if it gets ouit of hand. I understand why you are a fighing spirit, its becasue you have had to fend for youiself for a long time. Do what youir heart tells you. Let me know how you get on Love Mandy xx
 
Thank you, Mandy. I put up with it all my life, hoping, praying that my parents would change so my brother didn't have to go through it, too. It seems like he's getting it worse than I ever did, though. God will open the proper paths, and I just pray He gives me the words to reach my parents, and the ability to pave a less abusive path for my brother.
 
All is in my prayers for him, you and all of your family.
Have you looked into an emansipation declaration. sorry about spelling
Some states have this and will give him help, especsially in light of the situation.
God bless, pickles
 
Praying for his protection. If he's not already saved, he needs to be so God can protect him.
 
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I pray Lord almighty through this message to you. I may not be a brilliant prayer person to you god, as I am just learning. But Please take this lad out of any danger, alcohol can wreck alot of lives, I pray that you find a better way for this young lady and her brother, and help them. Make the whole situation a better one. Amen Thankyou God x
 
Thanks guys! I emailed my step-father today. I realized, that while he knows I"m a Christian, and claims he is one, too...that I've never witnessed to him or told him my story. I was in a dark place just like he is right now, and I told him how I came out of it. I told him how he needs to put all the pain and anger and fear that is causing him to drink into God's hands and learn how to be a leader in his household again. I told him that I loved him, which was so hard for me. It's something I never thought I would be able to do in a situation like this. But, after talking to my mom, I found out he wrote a bunch of suicide letters then threw them away. Nothing gives him the right to hurt his family, but he's hurt right now, too, and he needs my support, not my anger. I wanted to be angry at him so bad, but after I wrote out my testimony to him, I just couldn't be. Nobody in my family really says I love you. We don't hug. We barely talk. I hated my stepfather with a burning passion growing up. So not being angry at him, and actually telling him that I love him, and support him, and want to help him was one of the biggest steps I have ever taken. I just hope it's a powerful enough statement as to the grace that Jesus has taught me through His grace with us that it reaches some part of my step-father's heart.

So let me extend my prayer request. Please also help me pray for my step-father. Thank you all so much for your support. It's been a lifesaver.
 
Hi Angel. You are so great! I know with love and kind words things have a dramatic impact. I wish this would happen to all people that have bad tempers and attitudes, that they calm down and see the light. Its true you have jesus with you, you are a true warrior. I love people like you! I would also like to be like youself, full of good words and actions. Would you pray for a neighbour next door. My fiance doesnt like him, as he is a abit rude and doesnt always talk and is very false. I pray to you lord that you show my fiance the light and show our neighbour the light. I know people see different things in us. I ask god to show up in your life and everyone I know that needs love. I think this man next door drinks alcohol from time to time and I sense hes got a bad attitude. I pray that we hear some storiesabout alcohol, where people have come off it for good! Amen
 
Hi Angel, God worlks fast today, I was just stood at my back door and I saw a little dog pushing its nose undermeath the next door neighbours fance towards our dog. Its started a good conversation up about dogs. The young girl I chatted to was the girlfreind of the lad whos mam lives next door I think she does anyway. Its seems a very large family and Im not sure their comings and goings. Anyway I felt Gods presence with me today and decided to be myself and be happy and chatty. I went for a little ride on my bike as Rod was fixing a puncture on it, and I smiled and made a little chat as I went by my neighbour house. I spoke with 4 different people around where I Live and I feel really good. Just becasue my fiance thinks people can be strange I try to be different and smile alot. It great to think we can change peoples attitudes through the lord. I read psalm 71 today just part of it, and It was really good. Love Mandy xx I think God knows I am capable of being good to people, and the same goes to you Angel, you have it in you to be a good honest person. xxx
 
You can't imagine how much a smile can mean to someone! It's awesome that you got out and started talking to your neighbors. I always feel better after a little chat with someone friendly. My prayers are definitely with your neighbor. Maybe you'll be able to break through to him with your smiles and chit-chat and find out that under all the rude strangeness, he's just lonely and is grateful for someone to talk to him! You have inspired me to smile at every person I see today walking by. Wouldn't it be great if it was everyone's goal to smile at someone and pay them a compliment, even if they are a perfect stranger? Instead, people think it's a little weird, but I know deep inside, it makes them feel good. God Bless you, and thank you for your help and encouragement. It's been absolutely what I needed!
 
God, help even rescue Adam I pray if it be Your will a way to get him out of there is for him to be awarded an opening now ,some schools take persons this age... awarded a scholarship into a school for singing and dancing, if he loves this he might take it and get out, I love dance also Lord, HELP HIM , NO more abuse !!
 
Has the e-mail gotten through to him? I pray that it works. Because he's obviously done this with no fear of consequences and has gotten worse. True that if he continues he will be punished in the next life, but because your step-father isn't afraid, what happens next time? He may take the lives of one of The Lord's children and it could have been prevented if the police were involved, assuming he gets locked up for it. If something happens again after he's read your e-mail, you need to do something. God helps those who help themselves.
 
I'm not sure what's going on. My mom's been really busy with work at the flower shop with mother's day and prom and stuff. I know she won't let my brother and dad be alone together. Adam goes to a friend's house until mom gets off work and keep an eye on my dad. He hasn't emailed me back, or called me, and he won't answer the phone when I call, either. He's ashamed, which is good. Shame means he knows he did something wrong. He also knows I'm the only one in the family who won't let him pretend nothing happened and let him get away with it. Right now, my mom and brother said he never talks about it and sort of pretends like it didn't happen. Lol, I think I'm the only one in my family who isn't non-confrontational. I won't stare at the elephant in the room in silence, I'll talk about it until it goes away. But, I've been keeping an eye on things, and praying, so I know God will work His miracles and grace and get everyone through this. Maybe the shame will soften my father's heart enough to let God back in 100% instead of being a Christmas morning Christian.
 
I'll continue to hope and pray that he doesn't stray from His light again, God bless!
 
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