Can a Christian marry someone they are not physically attracted to if they are spiritually compatible?

[passion84god]

But in courting , searching stage, are we allowed to find people that's attractive? I am not talking about movie star attractive, I am talking about personal preference.

Would love to hear people s opinion on this, in Christian view.

Since you qualified your question with "in a Christian view," I will respond accordingly. I think that we first need to define the term "Christian." What does it mean according to scripture? The word "Christ" means "anointed," so Christians are those who have been anointed by the Holy Spirit. Also, followers of Christ were first called "Christians" at Antioch, so I believe that it is right to say that Christians are those who follow Christ.

This leads me back to my point:

When Christ is looking for a spouse or someone to be a part of the bride of Christ, what does he look for?

Outward physical traits or inward spiritual traits?

I think we all know the answer to this question, so if we are truly followers of Christ, then we should adjust our own views accordingly.​

 

[passion84god]

I honestly don't want to be a noodge, but here is a quick summary of what I have been trying to say:

From before the foundation of the world, God wanted Jesus, Israel's true king, to come through the line of Judah, and he had to do a lot of finagling to accomplish that because peoples' wills weren't aligned with his will.

1. He had to trick Jacob into marrying Leah so Judah could be born.
2. He had to trick Judah into having sexual relations with Tamar so Pharez could be born.
3. He had to find a Moabitess, Ruth, who was willing to marry an obviously older man, so Obed, the grandfather of David, could be born.
4. He had to reprove the prophet Samuel, who was looking on the outward instead of the inward, so David could become king.

These are just a few examples from scripture that show us how different God's mindset is from the mindsets of many people. Here, things like physical attraction or outward appearance and age were prioritized, and if God had not supernaturally intervened, then his purposes would have never been accomplished. Does this concern anybody besides me? If it doesn't, then it should.​

 

[passion84god]

I know that I recently said something similar to this on one of these threads, but I need to say it one more time.

For the women on here who have been cheated on by men, been told that you were too fat, that your eyes were different, that you were not attractive, etc., as a Christian man myself, I can assure you that none of that originated from God or Christ. That was the offshoot of some major problems in those men themselves. I hope that you all understand this. Okay, I am done. Thanks for putting up with my commentary.​

 

[Churchgoer]

Since you qualified your question with "in a Christian view," I will respond accordingly. I think that we first need to define the term "Christian." What does it mean according to scripture? The word "Christ" means "anointed," so Christians are those who have been anointed by the Holy Spirit. Also, followers of Christ were first called "Christians" at Antioch, so I believe that it is right to say that Christians are those who follow Christ.

This leads me back to my point:

When Christ is looking for a spouse or someone to be a part of the bride of Christ, what does he look for?

Outward physical traits or inward spiritual traits?

I think we all know the answer to this question, so if we are truly followers of Christ, then we should adjust our own views accordingly.​

If so, then for older folks, according to scripture, being single is better to serve the Lord. So stay single then.

Then however, for not so old folks, we still want passionate romance if Lord willing. Paul said to marry a believer. So later older marriage is for passionate romance, then that personal preference comes in.

 

[SoulFaith]

I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all answer to this. For me, physical attraction matters, but it isn't the most important foundation for a lasting marriage.

At nearly 50 years old, I see this a little differently than I did when I was younger.

For me, it's important that a man is around my age or older. He can even be significantly older. But what matters most is his heart. How he thinks, how he treats me and whether I feel valued and cherished in his eyes.

Marriage is much more than physical attraction or sex. Both have their place, but they are only one part of a lifelong covenant. To me, marriage is built on trust, deep friendship, caring for one another, being present and loving each other as we are. It's about forgiveness, growing together, learning together and choosing not to let bitterness take root.

I believe a godly character, genuine love and faithfulness are what sustain a marriage through the years.

 

[Suze]

I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all answer to this. For me, physical attraction matters, but it isn't the most important foundation for a lasting marriage.

At nearly 50 years old, I see this a little differently than I did when I was younger.

For me, it's important that a man is around my age or older. He can even be significantly older. But what matters most is his heart. How he thinks, how he treats me and whether I feel valued and cherished in his eyes.

Marriage is much more than physical attraction or sex. Both have their place, but they are only one part of a lifelong covenant. To me, marriage is built on trust, deep friendship, caring for one another, being present and loving each other as we are. It's about forgiveness, growing together, learning together and choosing not to let bitterness take root.

I believe a godly character, genuine love and faithfulness are what sustain a marriage through the years.

Me too ! But , I didn't know that my hubby was perfect for me until I got to know him . Prior to me getting to know him , I saw him around my town very often and I did think to myself ' he's cute ' , . I can only go by my own sinful selfish experiences .

 

[Suze]

I know that I recently said something similar to this on one of these threads, but I need to say it one more time.

For the women on here who have been cheated on by men, been told that you were too fat, that your eyes were different, that you were not attractive, etc., as a Christian man myself, I can assure you that none of that originated from God or Christ. That was the offshoot of some major problems in those men themselves. I hope that you all understand this. Okay, I am done. Thanks for putting up with my commentary.​

Any man who says any of those things to any lady , is not a Christian man , that's for sure . The same applies to ladies picking apart men's appearance to their faces .

 

[Suze]

I honestly don't want to be a noodge, but here is a quick summary of what I have been trying to say:

From before the foundation of the world, God wanted Jesus, Israel's true king, to come through the line of Judah, and he had to do a lot of finagling to accomplish that because peoples' wills weren't aligned with his will.

1. He had to trick Jacob into marrying Leah so Judah could be born.
2. He had to trick Judah into having sexual relations with Tamar so Pharez could be born.
3. He had to find a Moabitess, Ruth, who was willing to marry an obviously older man, so Obed, the grandfather of David, could be born.
4. He had to reprove the prophet Samuel, who was looking on the outward instead of the inward, so David could become king.

These are just a few examples from scripture that show us how different God's mindset is from the mindsets of many people. Here, things like physical attraction or outward appearance and age were prioritized, and if God had not supernaturally intervened, then his purposes would have never been accomplished. Does this concern anybody besides me? If it doesn't, then it should.​

Ok , I understand and appreciate exactly what u r saying . Please understand that what I'm saying is that when we all talk about attraction or attractiveness amongst humans , it's not all about looks . There r many different things that attract us or repel us because , we r all totally different in our likes and dislikes . And that's ok . God gives us what we need when we need it . If we all trust in Him , we shall all b fine . Phew , I'm exhausted ! . Love to all my beautiful brothers and sisters and that means.....all of u !

 

[Suze]

I honestly don't want to be a noodge, but here is a quick summary of what I have been trying to say:

From before the foundation of the world, God wanted Jesus, Israel's true king, to come through the line of Judah, and he had to do a lot of finagling to accomplish that because peoples' wills weren't aligned with his will.

1. He had to trick Jacob into marrying Leah so Judah could be born.
2. He had to trick Judah into having sexual relations with Tamar so Pharez could be born.
3. He had to find a Moabitess, Ruth, who was willing to marry an obviously older man, so Obed, the grandfather of David, could be born.
4. He had to reprove the prophet Samuel, who was looking on the outward instead of the inward, so David could become king.

These are just a few examples from scripture that show us how different God's mindset is from the mindsets of many people. Here, things like physical attraction or outward appearance and age were prioritized, and if God had not supernaturally intervened, then his purposes would have never been accomplished. Does this concern anybody besides me? If it doesn't, then it should.​

Last word from me , read Genesis Ch 29 , why might Jacob have preferred Rachael ? Verse 17 , Rachael was.......beautiful . Jacob was just a human like the rest of us .

 

[Churchgoer]

I know that I recently said something similar to this on one of these threads, but I need to say it one more time.

For the women on here who have been cheated on by men, been told that you were too fat, that your eyes were different, that you were not attractive, etc., as a Christian man myself, I can assure you that none of that originated from God or Christ. That was the offshoot of some major problems in those men themselves. I hope that you all understand this. Okay, I am done. Thanks for putting up with my commentary.​

This is the reason need to married in the Lord. So both obey Lord in a marriage.

 

[Churchgoer]

I honestly don't want to be a noodge, but here is a quick summary of what I have been trying to say:

From before the foundation of the world, God wanted Jesus, Israel's true king, to come through the line of Judah, and he had to do a lot of finagling to accomplish that because peoples' wills weren't aligned with his will.

1. He had to trick Jacob into marrying Leah so Judah could be born.
2. He had to trick Judah into having sexual relations with Tamar so Pharez could be born.
3. He had to find a Moabitess, Ruth, who was willing to marry an obviously older man, so Obed, the grandfather of David, could be born.
4. He had to reprove the prophet Samuel, who was looking on the outward instead of the inward, so David could become king.

These are just a few examples from scripture that show us how different God's mindset is from the mindsets of many people. Here, things like physical attraction or outward appearance and age were prioritized, and if God had not supernaturally intervened, then his purposes would have never been accomplished. Does this concern anybody besides me? If it doesn't, then it should.​

Not necessary agree on 1 2 3.
That shows human are all flawed, no one is perfect. GOD is using our imperfection to fulfill His perfect plan.
1. To trick someone we as Christian shouldn't do.
2. Sexual immorality there, we are called not to do.
3. God doesn't have to find Ruth. God is using Ruth to show God can use anyone.
4. Agree with you.

 

[passion84god]

Last word from me , read Genesis Ch 29 , why might Jacob have preferred Rachael ? Verse 17 , Rachael was.......beautiful . Jacob was just a human like the rest of us .

Sorry, but I honestly don't believe that he was "just a human like the rest of us." He had a relationship with God. Through Christ, we all ought to become "partakers of the divine nature," 2 Peter 1:4, or "one spirit" with the Lord, 1 Corinthians 6:14, so I'm not personally buying any of this "we're only human" stuff. If we are only human, then how are we any different from the unregenerate? I don't mean that to come across as being confrontational. I am just trying to share my point of view here, which I believe aligns with God's point of view.

Also, Jacob definitely preferred Rachel because of her outward beauty, but God preferred Leah in that she is the one who bore Judah to Jacob as a son through whom Christ came in the flesh. This shows us that man's will is often not in line with God's will as it ought to be. We can just shrug our shoulders at this reality and say, "Oh, well," or we can truly pray to God "not my will, but thine be done." I am recommending the latter of the two.

Don't let me wear you out any more than I already have. Sorry about that. For real. ​

 

[Suze]

I honestly don't want to be a noodge, but here is a quick summary of what I have been trying to say:

From before the foundation of the world, God wanted Jesus, Israel's true king, to come through the line of Judah, and he had to do a lot of finagling to accomplish that because peoples' wills weren't aligned with his will.

1. He had to trick Jacob into marrying Leah so Judah could be born.
2. He had to trick Judah into having sexual relations with Tamar so Pharez could be born.
3. He had to find a Moabitess, Ruth, who was willing to marry an obviously older man, so Obed, the grandfather of David, could be born.
4. He had to reprove the prophet Samuel, who was looking on the outward instead of the inward, so David could become king.

These are just a few examples from scripture that show us how different God's mindset is from the mindsets of many people. Here, things like physical attraction or outward appearance and age were prioritized, and if God had not supernaturally intervened, then his purposes would have never been accomplished. Does this concern anybody besides me? If it doesn't, then it should.​

As for Leah being ' hated ' , Jacob still managed to father several children by her so , I'm guessing the reason he ' hated ' her, wasn't to do with her looks but more likely to do with the fact that Jacob had been tricked , and not by her , into serving seven years and not getting the bride he wanted until a week later . Sorry for going on but I only just thought of that , forgive me please , my lips r now sealed .

 

[Suze]

Sorry, but I honestly don't believe that he was "just a human like the rest of us." He had a relationship with God. Through Christ, we all ought to become "partakers of the divine nature," 2 Peter 1:4, or "one spirit" with the Lord, 1 Corinthians 6:14, so I'm not personally buying any of this "we're only human" stuff. If we are only human, then how are we any different from the unregenerate? I don't mean that to come across as being confrontational. I am just trying to share my point of view here, which I believe aligns with God's point of view.

Also, Jacob definitely preferred Rachel because of her outward beauty, but God preferred Leah in that she is the one who bore Judah to Jacob as a son through whom Christ came in the flesh. This shows us that man's will is often not in line with God's will as it ought to be. We can just shrug our shoulders at this reality and say, "Oh, well," or we can truly pray to God "not my will, but thine be done." I am recommending the latter of the two.

Don't let me wear you out any more than I already have. Sorry about that. For real. ​

God's Will always comes to pass no matter what we do .

 

[Churchgoer]

As for Leah being ' hated ' , Jacob still managed to father several children by her so , I'm guessing the reason he ' hated ' her, wasn't to do with her looks but more likely to do with the fact that Jacob had been tricked , and not by her , into serving seven years and not getting the bride he wanted until a week later . Sorry for going on but I only just thought of that , forgive me please , my lips r now sealed .

In scripture, "hated" can mean less passionate, like less, but still like to some degree.
Jesus told us to "hate" our family, that means to put family 2nd to God.

 

[passion84god]

1. To trick someone we as Christian shouldn't do.

I agree, but that is what God needed to do with Jacob in order for Judah to be born through Leah.

2. Sexual immorality there, we are called not to do.

Yet, it is through that child, Pharez, that Christ came into this world in the flesh.

3. God doesn't have to find Ruth. God is using Ruth to show God can use anyone.

I will give you this one. I probably worded that part of my previous response poorly. The point that I was trying to make is that age is a big issue for people nowadays, but it obviously wasn't an issue with God.

 

[passion84god]

my lips r now sealed

I thought I recognized you. You're the lead singer from "The Go-Gos," aren't you?

 

[Churchgoer]

I agree, but that is what God needed to do with Jacob in order for Judah to be born through Leah.

Yet, it is through that child, Pharez, that Christ came into this world in the flesh.

I will give you this one. I probably worded that part of my previous response poorly. The point that I was trying to make is that age is a big issue for people nowadays, but it obviously wasn't an issue with God.

For 1 and 2, God is using human flaws to achieve His plan.
We are called to obey God, but not to act as if we are God.

Same for the jew leaders crucified Jesus. God used the jew leaders evil scheme. But we are called to not do the evil schemes.

 

[CarriePie]

I think it's a good idea for people to seek whoever it is that they find attractive. Not because I put a lot of importance on attraction, but because it affects the person they are with. Speaking from personal experience, when the person you are with isn't attracted to you, your self esteem takes a hit.
When I was growing up, I knew that I was gifted in the brains department and not in the looks department (which is actually a blessing). I was not allowed to forget this as an adult. Even so, I suppose I had hoped that at least the person I was in a relationship with would at least find me somewhat attractive. I know I don't meet society's standards, but I'm not a Whangdoodle! lol

Anyway, when the person you are with doesn't find you attractive, it's hard on the self esteem. I'd advise not being with someone that doesn't find you attractive. They might be a great person and you get along well, but that lack of attraction is going to wear on you.

Also, if someone doesn't find the other person attractive, they shouldn't tell them they aren't attractive. They should just tell them they aren't their type and move on. A guy friend told me, "Just because he doesn't find you attractive, doesn't mean you aren't attractive."
Everyone has their own preference. I tend to not find guys attractive that society deems as attractive (the tall types and what not - I'm quite short, so almost everyone is too tall to me lol). To each their own. I'd rather he have a strong relationship with the Lord and as far as physical aspects go I'd prefer he have a beard than be tall

 

[Churchgoer]

I agree, but that is what God needed to do with Jacob in order for Judah to be born through Leah.

Yet, it is through that child, Pharez, that Christ came into this world in the flesh.

I will give you this one. I probably worded that part of my previous response poorly. The point that I was trying to make is that age is a big issue for people nowadays, but it obviously wasn't an issue with God.

For 3, Ruth situation. Note that Ruth was poor, boaz was rich.
Today society even in professing Christian circle, if rich old man want to marry poor young girl, it is very easy. This is a fact.

So older well off Christian men shouldn't complain as long as they willing to rescue Ruth. Plenty Ruth out there.