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I'm not 100% sure if this is in the right section, but it deals with two topics really, but I'm going to throw it in here:
Anyway, a bit of backstory, this past year and so forth, I have fallen off the path. I wanted to believe, but couldn't find myself doing so anymore. I lost my faith and so forth. I started to think about partaking in things I shouldn't (Craigslist anyone?). Luckily, I never brought myself to do it, but it crossed my mind all the time. All, while these things were going on, I felt truly conflicted because I was a believer.
Anyway, fast forward to this August when the new semester starts:
Those of you who have been in school know how first days are, "hi hello, etc, etc". Little did I know what one of my classmates would do to me.
I eventually found out she believed in God and went to church and so forth and since she's around my age I found that I needed to talk to someone about what I was experiencing. I will say, I was attracted to the girl, like her, etc, but not many people knew how I felt and I felt she may not judge me. Anyway, we began to talk and I eventually got the courage to open up my Bible once again. I was so scared to do so! I started to cry! No joke! But it felt great to open it back up again, albeit a bit daunting.
Fast forward a bit more and she invited us to a halloween party she was hosting for the high schoolers who go to her church. I went, we chatted, etc, had a great time. We talked some more and she said she had a NIV bible she could lend me(i have a KJV). This past Friday she had a dentist appointment not too far from our college and I said I could meet up, hang out, etc. Because I'm a goofball I dozed off after she got ahold of me and said she was done and she went home. Trying to salvage the situation since she did semi-come this way for me(she doesn't live that close) I offered to go to her place. She agrees and I go and I'm there from about...1:30pm to about 2AM. Nothing happened, we just chatted about various things and just hung out. I had a great time and it seemed as if time didn't exist(lol).
This morning came. I guess because I like the girl she's one of the first things I think of when I wake. This morning was the same thing of course, but then I started to think about how God perhaps sent her my way to get me back on the path. I obviously don't know if we are meant to be together, but she was sent my way for a reason I believe that. I also started to realize how since I started to allow Him back into my heart some things started to fall back into place! After a mere few days! I felt as if I wanted to cry! Then it hit me, I think I realized I was in love with her. I started to cry about her and about how God is forgiving and all the things that fell back into place. I realized that I also would give up everything for her if need be, and then I thought, "Is this what love feels like?" I also realized I would give up things for God if he wanted me too also.
The crying spell didn't last too long. But seeing that I like her, I obviously want to talk to her! We all know how that is. We text a bit, etc. Anyway, for some reason I felt like, I was about to flip out or something. I don't want to seem all pushy and so forth, but I started to cry again! In the midst of my crying fit, I thought God could help me and I grabbed a book that the girl lent me and still in my crying spell, tried to trudge through it. But couldn't hardly do so. Anyway, I noticed a bookmark sticking out and I grabbed it and looked at it and it read, "Don't be anxious about anything" which is from Philippians 4:6. That is exactly how I was feeling and I started to sob more.
Could anyone give some bit of insight what all of this may mean? I'm supposed to go to church with her tomorrow and am excited and nervous about it at the same time. I'm afraid that I may be coming off as pushy(as far as she's concerned) and stuff. Perhaps, I'm looking too much into it.
Any form of advice will be appreciated. Sorry about the TLDR post, and thanks in advance.
Anyway, a bit of backstory, this past year and so forth, I have fallen off the path. I wanted to believe, but couldn't find myself doing so anymore. I lost my faith and so forth. I started to think about partaking in things I shouldn't (Craigslist anyone?). Luckily, I never brought myself to do it, but it crossed my mind all the time. All, while these things were going on, I felt truly conflicted because I was a believer.
Anyway, fast forward to this August when the new semester starts:
Those of you who have been in school know how first days are, "hi hello, etc, etc". Little did I know what one of my classmates would do to me.
I eventually found out she believed in God and went to church and so forth and since she's around my age I found that I needed to talk to someone about what I was experiencing. I will say, I was attracted to the girl, like her, etc, but not many people knew how I felt and I felt she may not judge me. Anyway, we began to talk and I eventually got the courage to open up my Bible once again. I was so scared to do so! I started to cry! No joke! But it felt great to open it back up again, albeit a bit daunting.
Fast forward a bit more and she invited us to a halloween party she was hosting for the high schoolers who go to her church. I went, we chatted, etc, had a great time. We talked some more and she said she had a NIV bible she could lend me(i have a KJV). This past Friday she had a dentist appointment not too far from our college and I said I could meet up, hang out, etc. Because I'm a goofball I dozed off after she got ahold of me and said she was done and she went home. Trying to salvage the situation since she did semi-come this way for me(she doesn't live that close) I offered to go to her place. She agrees and I go and I'm there from about...1:30pm to about 2AM. Nothing happened, we just chatted about various things and just hung out. I had a great time and it seemed as if time didn't exist(lol).
This morning came. I guess because I like the girl she's one of the first things I think of when I wake. This morning was the same thing of course, but then I started to think about how God perhaps sent her my way to get me back on the path. I obviously don't know if we are meant to be together, but she was sent my way for a reason I believe that. I also started to realize how since I started to allow Him back into my heart some things started to fall back into place! After a mere few days! I felt as if I wanted to cry! Then it hit me, I think I realized I was in love with her. I started to cry about her and about how God is forgiving and all the things that fell back into place. I realized that I also would give up everything for her if need be, and then I thought, "Is this what love feels like?" I also realized I would give up things for God if he wanted me too also.
The crying spell didn't last too long. But seeing that I like her, I obviously want to talk to her! We all know how that is. We text a bit, etc. Anyway, for some reason I felt like, I was about to flip out or something. I don't want to seem all pushy and so forth, but I started to cry again! In the midst of my crying fit, I thought God could help me and I grabbed a book that the girl lent me and still in my crying spell, tried to trudge through it. But couldn't hardly do so. Anyway, I noticed a bookmark sticking out and I grabbed it and looked at it and it read, "Don't be anxious about anything" which is from Philippians 4:6. That is exactly how I was feeling and I started to sob more.
Could anyone give some bit of insight what all of this may mean? I'm supposed to go to church with her tomorrow and am excited and nervous about it at the same time. I'm afraid that I may be coming off as pushy(as far as she's concerned) and stuff. Perhaps, I'm looking too much into it.
Any form of advice will be appreciated. Sorry about the TLDR post, and thanks in advance.