My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture.
I have a hunch, it might be me.
I have a hunch, it might be me.
can you guys post something funny please?
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So, a small church decided the church and the buildings needed painting. A budget was set, and 4 bids received and a contractor was chosen. However, the youth pastor spoke up and asked why he couldn't be the one who painted the buildings. His salary was small, and he needed extra work to make his ends meet. The elders and deacons considered, and granted, his request at the lowest bid.
The youth pastor looked at the budget for the amount of paint, and decided he could lower the costs by simply diluting the paint a bit, but by the time he reached the last building, he saw he was going to be a bit short. Rather than driving all the way back to the paint store, he decided to simply dilute the last 5 gallons a bit more. Even then he was still not going to make it, so he diluted it a bit more.
After the elders and deacons got together at their next meeting, they decided to send the youth pastor an important message. It read, "REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE!"
The youth pastor looked at the budget for the amount of paint, and decided he could lower the costs by simply diluting the paint a bit, but by the time he reached the last building, he saw he was going to be a bit short. Rather than driving all the way back to the paint store, he decided to simply dilute the last 5 gallons a bit more. Even then he was still not going to make it, so he diluted it a bit more.
After the elders and deacons got together at their next meeting, they decided to send the youth pastor an important message. It read, "REPAINT AND THIN NO MORE!"
Three strings were walking down the main street in Phoenix in the summer time. One turns to the other two and says, "I'm parched. What say I get us a couple of Cokes from the next restaurant we pass. They agreed, and at the next restaurant he entered, walked up to the bar and asked for three Cokes. The bartender looks down at the string, points to a big sign behind the counter, and says, "Can't you read?". The sign says, "We do not serve strings here."
The string, now frustrated, as well as thirsty, exits the bar and shares what he was told with his friends. One of the other two says, "I'll get us some cokes, sign or not!". and proceeds to ball himself up and loosen some of his strands. Entering the bar, he calls out to the bartender, "Three Cokes please." The bartender starts pouring the drinks and then pauses and looks very closely at the patron. "Say, ... aren't you one of those strings?", he asked. "No", he replied. "I'm a fraid knot.". He got his drinks.
The string, now frustrated, as well as thirsty, exits the bar and shares what he was told with his friends. One of the other two says, "I'll get us some cokes, sign or not!". and proceeds to ball himself up and loosen some of his strands. Entering the bar, he calls out to the bartender, "Three Cokes please." The bartender starts pouring the drinks and then pauses and looks very closely at the patron. "Say, ... aren't you one of those strings?", he asked. "No", he replied. "I'm a fraid knot.". He got his drinks.
If you ever need a reason to smile,this little guy will make it happen.
A man hires a blonde to paint his porch.
He tells her that the brushes, paint, and ladders are in the garage.
About 30 minutes later he hears a knock and answers the door. The blonde lets him know that she's finished.
"Wow" he says, "that was quick. Did you have enough paint?"
"Yup, enough for 2 coats!" she replies.
The man thanks and pays her. As she's leaving she turns around and says "By the way, it's not a porch. It's a Ferrari."
He tells her that the brushes, paint, and ladders are in the garage.
About 30 minutes later he hears a knock and answers the door. The blonde lets him know that she's finished.
"Wow" he says, "that was quick. Did you have enough paint?"
"Yup, enough for 2 coats!" she replies.
The man thanks and pays her. As she's leaving she turns around and says "By the way, it's not a porch. It's a Ferrari."
They told me I was gullible…and I believed them.
I see hope the new Airforce One isn't a repeat of history.
The Great Seal
In 1945, a group of Soviet children visited the US Embassy in Moscow and gave the Ambassador a hand-carved Great Seal of the US. It stayed in his office…
www.spymuseum.org
