can you guys post something funny please?

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dkontner said:
Learning how to pick locks has really opened up a lot of doors for me.
Click to expand...
1 of my customers was a professional locksmith & safecracker, yes, this is true. he said behind door #1 was the crackers you had to eat b4 you opened the safe, otherwise it wouldn't open. behind door #2, was Mr. Lock Smith who safely locked you in for punishment if you couldn't open the safe & behind door #3, were locks for you to pick that you had to pick. nyuknyuknyuk
 
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Why did the red heifer have the most expensive skincare routine in the ancient world?
Because a single blemish could literally cancel the future of the Temple!
 
An ancient Israelite walks into the Tabernacle carrying a fancy, comfortable wooden chair. He walks up to the High Priest, who looks completely exhausted from standing all day.
"Your Holiness," the man says, "I see you standing there hour after hour. I brought you a gift so you can finally sit down and rest your feet!"
The High Priest gasps, takes a step back, and says, "Are you crazy?! Take that away! There are no chairs in the Tabernacle. If I sit down on the job, it’s a total taber-nackle!"
The man apologizes and says, "Wow, I'm sorry. I just wanted to help. You look so stressed out. What's bothering you anyway?"
The High Priest sighs and points out to the pasture. "See that red cow out there? I’ve been staring at it for six hours with a magnifying glass. If it grows just two white hairs, the whole purification system is ruined! I am totally stressed!"
The man says, "Well, look on the bright side. Once you burn the cow, mix the ashes into the water, and sprinkle it on the people, everyone who was unclean will finally be 100% clean!"
The High Priest throws his hands up in the air and yells:
"Yeah, but do you know what the worst part is? The moment I make them clean, the magic water turns me unclean! So I’ll be completely dirty, I still won't be allowed to sit down, and I'll have to wash my clothes before I can even go home to complain about it!"
 
Why did the Jewish High Priest have to stand up all day in the Tabernacle while Jesus got to sit down on a throne?
Because the jewish priest relied on a female heifer that only provided a temporary fix—but Jesus is the true Male Heir who got the job done properly, and when a man finishes the job right, he earns the right to sit down and rest!
 
Q: Why couldn't nine female heifers get the cleaning done?
A: Because they only know how to give a quick fix—it takes a man who listens to get the job done right on his very first try! That’s why the true Male Heir finished the work once and for all, and earned the right to sit down and rest!
 
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