Cancer returned

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Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
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#41
Well Blue Ladybug, you sure know how to bring the tears!
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#43
I'm leaning this is not a steady climb uphill. There are little setbacks along the way. The doctor said I would have nerve pain as the nerves began to come "alive". Well, those little nerves are kicking up a storm in the back of my head. Pain meds help a lot.

I begin to eat without coughing, then all of a sudden, the coughs come back. I must pamper my throat more, and not get so impatient with it. Self talk does work a little: "nice little throat, it is all right - do not try so hard - it will be better - you have been through a lot - now just relax - take a deep breath - you sweet, beautiful throat."


So the road is rocky - but I still find it sort of therapeutic to type this out. It is my journal. I give up all rights to whomever wants to publish it.
 

KBond

Senior Member
Jun 5, 2013
662
21
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#44
Lord, I pray You would heal Your servant and give her joy, as in her namesake, and radiate that joy. Give her peace and mobility and comfort. Let this moment of trials become a powerful testimony of Your glory and triumph. Thank You, Jesus, that You are there even when we feel we are at our lowest. You our refuge and deliverer, our healer and our help. Thank You, Lord. In Christ's Name, Amen.
 
D

Depleted

Guest
#45
I'm leaning this is not a steady climb uphill. There are little setbacks along the way. The doctor said I would have nerve pain as the nerves began to come "alive". Well, those little nerves are kicking up a storm in the back of my head. Pain meds help a lot.

I begin to eat without coughing, then all of a sudden, the coughs come back. I must pamper my throat more, and not get so impatient with it. Self talk does work a little: "nice little throat, it is all right - do not try so hard - it will be better - you have been through a lot - now just relax - take a deep breath - you sweet, beautiful throat."


So the road is rocky - but I still find it sort of therapeutic to type this out. It is my journal. I give up all rights to whomever wants to publish it.
Not sure what is causing your coughing, but knowing John, his came because his "swallower" no longer could pick out which pipe the food should go down. (Sometimes it went down into the lungs. Most of us cough when that happens -- gag really -- to pull it back out again. He didn't.)

Stuff that helped him.
-- Swallow hard twice for ever swallow.
-- Tuck chin. (For some reason tucking chin sends the food down the right pipe -- the esophagus.)

It makes eating and drinking a slower process, but that's okay. More time to enjoy each mouthful.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#46
I know all about the head tucked down, and for me it helps to tilt left into the side where surgery was. A lot of my problem is mucus related to the sinus drainage from the first surgery. A little complication but nothing can be done about that. Except prayer and God's intervention.

Out here where I live, I have a Speech/Food Therapist coming out a few times this month to assess problems, and give me advice.

John and I should share a meal together. The only problem is that I cannot talk during the hour I am eating, or I will cough. It does take concentration By the way, did John improve?
 
F

finaldesire

Guest
#47
I feel like I've been kicked while down. Just about the time I was learning to talk with a prosthesis from my palates being surgically removed after the cancer in my mouth, another tumor popped up in my neck.

Surgery was last week and there is nothing left in the left side of my neck except just the spine and carotid artery. Even the jugular vein was taken out. A lot of muscle, nerves and tissue remove clear down to my shoulder. My mouth is not working properly, with one side sort of drooping.

I can't eat anything but pureed foods, and even my water has to be thickened. Swallow by swallow with a spoon.

The doctor expected this to be much worse - lose movement in one shoulder, and even drooling. Didn't happen because of much prayer, and the Lord's compassion for me. I can move my arm above my head, and can even talk so that you can understand me.

Now I'm asking prayer for a quick recovery, and my ability to swallow to come back. I have wonderful family support, and friends who surround me with so much love. I pray above all, that the Lord's hand be evident and seen by all. Even now so many people are saying that I'm a miracle. I have survived much and still have the joy of the Lord deep in my spirit, especially the peace that comes from my knowing that He will use this somehow because all things work for good the scripture tells us.
No, this is the work of man, not God. Do you think that God would have to cut away disease, here learn from the Bible.

Mark 3:1-6 (ESV)A Man with a Withered Hand
3 Again he entered the synagogue, and a man was there with a withered hand. 2 And they watched Jesus,[a] to see whether he would heal him on the Sabbath, so that they might accuse him. 3 And he said to the man with the withered hand, “Come here.” 4 And he said to them, “Is it lawful on the Sabbath to do good or to do harm, to save life or to kill?” But they were silent. 5 And he looked around at them with anger, grieved at their hardness of heart, and said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He stretched it out, and his hand was restored. 6 The Pharisees went out and immediately held counsel with the Herodians against him, how to destroy him.

If we could only find that way to harness that healing power of God, most doctors would be out in the cold.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
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#48
Really losing weight - down to 104. So I am now BBF with Boost (adding a banana for potassium). It is slow eating and makes me eat for hours and hours each day. Even Boost must be with teaspoon by teaspoon.

A home nurse is monitoring me, and did not seem too worried yet. But I am. Do not like feeling so light.

Prayers needed for weight gain. That I'll be given wisdom.
 
Jan 28, 2018
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#49
I am so sorry to hear this. I am praying for you.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#50
Jesus take the wheel....


I'm so tired of this work of swallowing. And coughing. It is like I've come to the end of myself - now He must take over.
It did help me a little when I thought about how as long as Peter kept his eyes on Jesus, he was able to walk on the water. So this morning during cereal time, I thought of the blockages in my throat as waves and the food going down as "walking" (moving) over them.

I totally kept my focus on Jesus which did bring a calm. It was a little easier, I visualized my food moving easily and my throat seemed to relax and I coughed much less.

I had been reading novels during the hour of eating, but this seemed to work. But none of this is giving me the calories I need unless Jesus changes the food into fat.

On a good note, slept 9 hours and woke with no pain. PTL
 
Feb 8, 2018
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#51
Lord, Please heal our sister Joi. Cure her of this cancer and let her fully recover to continue her journey here on earth. Lord, you know what she needs and what is best. So please Lord be with her always. Amen.
 
M

Miri

Guest
#54
Joi you are such an inspiration, I’m not sure how I would cope if I had to go
through everything you’ve been through in last few years.

Continuing to pray for you.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
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#55
Joi you are such an inspiration, I’m not sure how I would cope if I had to go
through everything you’ve been through in last few years.

Continuing to pray for you.
Thank you Miri, and so many others who have prayed. Healing is HARD work, and I will remember these weeks when I think life is difficult in the future. God is the Healer, but I have learned that we do partner with Him - and have our daily little assignments which can be struggles.

I love a testimony where God just seemed to wave His hand over a person and they were healed. But that is not always the case and He did not do that with me when I was healed of smoking. He gave me the grace to just say NO and then another NO NO NO NO NO. It did cause me to grow in self-discipline that a quick healing would not have.

Now I can see that this is another type of discipline - making myself get out of bed and eating when it is not easy to do so. And having to wait to see any difference.

What I went through last year built up my endurance and patience. What I'm looking for at this point is that incredible sense of Jesus' presence when I'm feeling at my worst. It is all nice when you feel His presence in a wonderful worship song, or get those goose bumps on your skin - or that warm liquid feeling you have when praying. But when you are suffering, it must be the most incredible thing.

I feel His presence in every person who serves me now. But I believe there is more that He wants to show me. His Spirit is with me, and I am open.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#56
I found His presence today as I read the scriptures. Jesus said He was the Word and He surely is! It was when I read that He was sufficient for me - (my sufficiency is found in Him), that I felt Him so close.


Of course....it has always been the Word of God that has brought such a sense of His reality. I was just having a few bad days and didn't think to read scripture. I probably wanted showers of heavenly light to come down into the room.
:)



I also got the message to surrender and endure. There is a reason and I felt like it was for others to benefit from.
But that word - He Is Sufficient for me. Every moment. Every day. I can rest in His Sufficiency.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#57
Just realized that I will never drive again. Can't turn my head but just a little. In fact, it is heavy on my neck, and without muscles on one side, I get tired of holding it up. How we take muscles for granted.


The one thing I can do is play the piano (mentioned before), but at this point my arm gets tired before finishing the song.. It should get better.


At night when I roll over to left side which has no feeling, I wonder what that lump is under my head until I realize it must be my ear.


Little things I will have to live with. Maybe even not good speech. But, hey, I can talk - you just have to figure out what I said.
We all have to live with something that is difficult. What helps me is to really keep my mind on what is working okay and realize it could be a lot worse.
 

notmyown

Senior Member
May 26, 2016
4,586
1,047
113
#58
Joi, how odd that must have been, figuring out the lump is your ear. yes, i see your mind still works well, just in that realization.

i've been rather ill, myself, but that means i have plenty of time to pray, and i pray for you.

when my mom became too ill to ever drive again, she was sad. how are you doing with it?
 

Magenta

Senior Member
Jul 3, 2015
55,248
25,719
113
#59
Hello Joi. Just letting you know that I put your name (among others) on a prayer card at my church, and recently received this email from my Bible study group leader/host/elder:

Dear Magenta,

Thank you very much for your PRAY card last Sunday. I wanted to let you know that a group of us prayed for you and other requests on Tuesday morning. I also spent some time in my devotions this morning praying for your friends Joi, Mar, Mochi and Levi from Psalm 33. Even amidst the difficulty of Joi's cancer returning, and the dental issues of your other friends, may they come to know the steadfast love of our Lord.​

As you know, there's a group of dedicated ladies in -------, TX -- one of our long time partners -- that also prays regularly for our church. About seven of them gathered this morning at a local Starbucks there and prayed also for your friends among other items.

May you be blessed today trusting in the deep abiding love of our Lord and Saviour.
 

Joidevivre

Senior Member
Jul 15, 2014
3,838
271
83
#60
Joi, how odd that must have been, figuring out the lump is your ear. yes, i see your mind still works well, just in that realization.

i've been rather ill, myself, but that means i have plenty of time to pray, and i pray for you.

when my mom became too ill to ever drive again, she was sad. how are you doing with it?
I'm so sorry that you have suffered also. To answer your question, it is okay not to drive. Just a shocking realization. I actually live with my son and daughter in law (apartment above the garage), and they can run me around or pick up for me. I have been a Christian counselor for years, and people have come to me. I do not speak well now, and will not be picking this ministry up unless a miracle happens.

Thank you for praying for me. We do hold each other up, don't we? I pray that you will have relief and find His strength for what you need to do each day. Here is a hug O

Joi