Cheated on...

  • Thread starter Thread starter basschick
  • Start date Start date
  • Christian Chat is a moderated online Christian community allowing Christians around the world to fellowship with each other in real time chat via webcam, voice, and text, with the Christian Chat app. You can also start or participate in a Bible-based discussion here in the Christian Chat Forums, where members can also share with each other their own videos, pictures, or favorite Christian music.

    If you are a Christian and need encouragement and fellowship, we're here for you! If you are not a Christian but interested in knowing more about Jesus our Lord, you're also welcome! Want to know what the Bible says, and how you can apply it to your life? Join us!

    To make new Christian friends now around the world, click here to join Christian Chat.
B

basschick

Guest
My (now) ex-boyfriend confessed today that he had cheated on me several weeks ago. After several hours and talking about it I realized that I had to break things off with him as the way he was responding showed that taking proactive steps toward fixing stuff wasn't that important to him. We had been together nearly a year and for the last several months he has been talking with my mom and friends about proposing and we had been talking about future plans. He is the only man I've been with that I ever truly saw myself spending my life with. I have enough stress going on between still battling Worker's Comp and trying to find work that I can do and will actually hire me... Now on top of everything I have been betrayed on the most intimate level and everything that was supposed to be certain has to change. We were planning on spending our lives together and serving God together and he has to pull this... I can't handle it on top of everything. Anyway, thank you for any prayers.
 
Hey basschick, I'm reallllly sorry you had to go through that! I had that happen to me too in two different relationships unfortunately and it hurt so very bad. I'll be praying for you as you get past this. Remember that Jesus loves you unconditionally and will never leave you! His love endures forever =)
 
Oh, your heart! :(

That sort of betrayal...I understand a little of how you feel. For me it was my first husband.
I know it may not be time for encouragement (yet), but if it helps you to know, God blessed me
with my husband Mark, and we have been married for 32 years. We have six fantastic kiddos,
and I thought I loved him when we married (and I did) but it was nothing compared to the way I feel now.
He's just so wonderful. ♥

God is in the business of bringing joy from tragedy; Life from death...that's the One we serve.
I pray He heals your heart, and brings you to the place of joy for you, my dear.

People will hurt us and let us down and betray us, but the One Who loves you most never, ever will.
I pray you put your trust in Him, and climb into your Daddy's lap and receive grace in His healing presence.

love,
ellie

 
I dont understand how people do this, right now I'm trying to convince my wife of 12 years to come home, I have certainly never cheated on her, and I just can't understand how someone can say they love someone then run around on the same person. I know it's unusual for a guy to feel like this, but I cant be the only one
 
I know the devastation you feel personally and I am praying for you. I cant get to deep on here because it will take me back into my experience and there lays way to much pain being that I am with the same guy and trying to make it work but I can tell you that my heart bleeds for the pain you feel and I lift you up in prayer sweetie.
 
i wanted to clarify she didn't cheat on me and I certainly didn't on her, I just cant understand how someone can, she has physical issues and we hadn't been able to do anything for over three years, but I still wouldn't cheat, I hear guys saying ,well they have to have it, sorry but we are not male dogs, we are humans and should be able to control ourselves
 
Thank you all for the encouragement- it's been a pretty rough night. I got a grand total of 2 hours of sleep trying to keep my head together. I just don't understand, and I probably never will. He was always so outspoken about the kind of scum people are that cheat and horrible cheating on someone you love is... It really has me questioning just how much of this last year has been true and how much was a lie. :(
 
you know here is something to think about ok. You know as children of God we are attacked more by the devil then anyone else alive because we are workers for our King. I would imagine the devil didn't stop throwing this temptation at your ex and then your ex fell for it. Have you thought about maybe forgiving him and trying to overcome this? Life is hard. We are all tempted by the devil to sin. Sometimes we fall flat on our faces and sometimes we resist it without a second thought. I just cant help but to wonder what good the two of you would do for God and if this isn't an attempt to split the two of you up by the devil. Just a thought that came to mind. I mean if you are both children of God wanting to serve your life to Him as a couple it makes sense that the devil would attack him with this temptation. Has he ever done this before? I don't think he has because he couldn't stand the lie and told you a week later.( mine never admitted it and cant seem to find the guts and courage to) That would be the Holy Spirit convicting his heart. Don't be so quick to throw someone you love away because we are human beings, we mess up. Mostly just pray on it. Ask God to help you forgive him and ask Gods direction on what it is that you should do.
I think that if you really truly love someone you are able to forgive them and give them a second chance. I know that if I fell for temptation and knew I had just made the biggest mistake of my life I would want the one that I love to forgive me and give me a second chance. All doesn't have to be lost. This could simply be a hurdle for both of you to overcome together. Me and my guy have managed to overcome so so so much. I really truly think that the love that is meant to be is tested over and over again to see if the two are worthy to stay as one. But you follow your heart because our Lord is leading it. The best of luck sweetie.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
I do feel for you 'basschick'!

Cheating on your intended is really a most low thing to do...

Better that it happened now than after your were married, at least you really have seen at first hand where his priorities lie!

My own reaction to this would be to dump them and get on with my life, as there are plenty more fish in the sea...this incident could be pointing out that he was not the one for you...

Apologies, if the above seems a bit blunt, but it reflects my thinking and experience on such matters...

I do pray that you are able to work through this with support from the Lord Jesus and your friends.

Yahweh Shalom
 
I asked him if he wanted to try to fix things, and he couldn't say that he did. That is what sealed the deal for me. I was willing to try to work past the fact that he sought out a complete stranger for the sole purpose of a one night stand and do what was needed to at least try to build back the trust, and he wasn't. I love him more than anything. But I know that I at least deserve someone who will want to try to work at being with me when there are troubles.
 
ahhh I see. I am very sorry honey. It will get easier. God will heal your heart. When a door closes so final like that I always just take it as the hand of God closing that door. He has such a beautiful life planned for us girl. Have faith and let your heart fill up with hope because God has got you and this situation completely under His control. Glad you are here so we all can pray for you during this hard time in your life. I know what you are dealing with so feel free to email me if you'd like.
 
sorry this happened too u i will pray for u ur wise to let him go he was unfaithully spiritually and by cheating on u wait unti God brings a Godly Man in2 ur life!!!!!!!be healled b blessed allways................
 
This evening I've been having fun trying to coordinate through my sister and her husband how to get some of my things from him. In 2 weeks I have a plane ticket that was meant to visit him back in my small home town for his birthday and our anniversary, so it's going to be a pretty tough trip. At least my sis also lives there, so I will just spend the time visiting with her, praying I don't run into him in public for the week I'm there. I am able to at least make changes to the return ticket, so I'm going to stop in Seattle on the way back to spend some time with my best friend from college. She's determined to help take my mind off him, haha. I haven't seen her in a year and a half-it'd be good for me to actually get to spend some time with her and some of my other friends. It seems I have friends all over the country, but never where I'm living!
My goal for the rest of the night is to get more than 2 hours of sleep. I'm just so discouraged and hurt. I'm sorry, it's really weird for me to just keep venting in this type of format, haha. ...but I need to do something to let it out. If not I will go even more insane from the emotional turmoil. It's so hard to keep myself together more than a few minutes without breaking down. Anyways, I appreciate y'all praying and letting me vent and encouraging me, I really do.
 
We are here for you, beloved of your Father, because He caused us to be. ♥
The Lord loves you so very much, and He wants you to be helped.
Anything you want to say...we want to hear about. :)
ellie

ps- bekah's forgiveness idea is a good one. even if you know you'll never be together, forgiveness is the key
to your own healing. I pray no bitterness will grow in your heart because of him. ♥
 
My heart ached for you when I read this...
I know betrayal well.
I will pray for you.
Love in Jesus, Shekaniah

2 Cor 1:3-5
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ's sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.
 
I just had a long phone appointment with a pastor (actually the pastor that has been my ex's mentor since he was a child and is a brilliant man and specializes in Psychology and counseling) and am feeling a bit better. He said that my ex screwed up the best thing that has ever happened in his life and he will have to deal with it for a long time. I'm happy to know that I'm handling this normally for how deeply committed I was and how much I loved Chris and due to the fact that in my mind he was already my partner for life, the man I was going to marry. I'm going to embrace the emotions that I have (because they are legitimate and significant) and give them to God to carry for me during this difficult time of recovery and healing.
 
Huge hugs basschick, you are in my heart and prayers as you work through all this.

God bless
pickles
 
I got a very apologetic and remorseful email today... He went on about how I deserve so much better and he has no right to ask, but he would do anything for a second chance, and would do whatever it takes for decades if he has to. This isn't helping me... I'm so confused. He is the only man I have ever truly loved and the only one that I have ever completely trusted (before this fiasco). I still can't picture my life without him in it. Should we both heal to the point of ever trying again and wanting to try again my family will never support it and would possibly even have nothing to do with me (we're a bit of a stubborn bunch...). I just don't know what to think. I'm praying for wisdom amongst the healing at the moment :S I did tell him it would take a long time before I will ever know if I'm capable of trying again. On the flip side, he wouldn't deserve to be with someone that would worry about where he is and what he's doing if he doesn't answer a phone call or text. Grrr! Why can't this be easier? :(
 
you know honestly I do not know if it is even worth it some days. I do worry about why he goes to work a half hour early or is a half hour late and it stinks because I cant stop my mind from going in that direction and with it comes a boat load of heart and mental stress until I lay it at Gods feet and he gives me peace over it. Staying with someone that cheated on you is one of the hardest things you will ever do in this life. Because it cut so deeply and because it hurts so badly it leaves a scar that is always there it seems it never seems to completely leave your mind and flares up so fast. Or it feels that way in my situation. I wish I could tell you what to do. I chose to walk a path of forgiveness but it cuts me often and deeply. I often wonder if this is where I am suppose to be. I pray on it daily I do. If you stay it will be work. A lot of work. I pray that both of our hearts would be completely healed in our Christ sista. I really am here to be an objective voice from a complete stranger if you need to talk about something that you just cant with your loved ones. I have been there.
 
Praying that God will give you His perfect wisdon, knowledge, depth and insight.
May the Holy Spirit give you understanding so you can discern what is best.
May you be covered in the peace that surpasses human understanding.
And know with confidence and devine strength...what steps you should take.
In Jesus Loving Name, Amen
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom
Back