Christian Dating sites- What do you think?

[OFM]

From my experience, I advice not to use it. I see the journey when my younger sister meet her fiance from dating sites. It's really horrible when I know both of them don't have an intimate relationship with God, I can't imagine what will happen next when they married. When they have a fight, they solve with their logic and not based on what God said. Unfortunately, she choose the wrong decision when they start to dating, they don't care bout God and do everything freely, it's really hurt my heart but I can't do anything because she was stubborn so I pray everyday and hope God will open the eyes of her hearts. I was born from Christian family and when I'm at 19 y.o I decide to follow Jesus, obey what He said and give whole my life into His hand. Many people join dating sites with brands their self a Christian but in fact they don't have any relationship with God, sometimes its so annoying when people try to flirting me and when I'm said I'm a Christian who is keep the truth tightly, people avoid me and said I'm too holly and naïve to face the reality.

I think that when we maximize our manhood, God will prepare the best spouse for us. Like Ruth who is patiently wait her Boas, so I will wait my Boas patiently in His perfect time

i fully agree with yoy thier not really at all spiritually worth it not well bible based at all very worldly.they misrepersent themsels like chrisrtian-mingle.com stay far away from that site The Lord Blesses us And Sends Our Mate/Partner unto us-eth.

bee blessed allways every 1,amen.

bee allways sure to Date Our Lord Jesus Christ,allways.

 

[rauleetoe]

Okay so there seems to be a lot of Christian dating sites popping up all over the place.

I always used to think they weren't good, however my best friend met her now fiance on one and it is very clear they are suited to each other.

I guess there are several arguements for and against. what I understand to be:

For

We live in a modern age, the internet is a great tool to broaden our horizons and meet a wide variety of people all over the place

It is all about the motivations of the heart, it is okay to pursue a relationship as long as you are content in knowing God is all you need.

Against

Is searching really being content in God, It could easily lead to upset and focusing away from God

How do you know who you are going to meet, they could be a complete and utter wierdo


So yeah what do you think, have you tried it out?

Well for me, i have met one on a supposed christian friend finder site. And while the young lady was fun, attractive and outgoing..she was not that spiritual. And by the time i saw that I was honestly too wrapped up in infatuation to kick her to the curb. Shortly afterwards my heart got stomped on. Granted that was many years ago..almost ten years to be exact.
I have seen some nice ones..one especially looks to be advertising in a similar manner to one of the prominent secular dating sites and i think it has worked for them. But you are right, i know someone..a friend who met someone on there. The guy seems anything but christian, i told her in love if he 1)cannot point out to the specific times/situations/a date to when he was born again/gave his life over to Jesus..maybe he is not a christian.
2)if he will not respect her regarding intimacy boundaries,etc. Even if he says he is a christian, he sure is not acting like it.
3) Try talking to him about the Lord..see what he says in response.

Of course she never has had a real boyfriend so she's totally not listening so..gotta let people fall on their face.

I think you gotta be really really honest with yourself if you are ready to date/pursue a relationship. For me, even if i everything was 'right'. I have spent a lifetime of missing God and getting it all wrong that i want to find a better way. I am not discounting/disregarding dating sites but i truly want to trust that the God of Abraham,Issac and Jacob surely can help me in this venture. I know some may need to take a more proactive stance than simply waiting on God. But for me, right now..i want to trust God. Am i tempted to go on a site? Yes, but even the last one i was on(it was a secular site) but i met one christian gal on there. Amazing young lady, but very very insecure, and unsure of herself. Having never dated she did not even know how to act around me. She was sweet but super super shy. To me, that can be a bit of a deal breaker..sure a little shyness at first is cute. But after a while i would like someone to get out of their shell and breath, and be comfortable around me and have fun, and let loose..just be chill, not stuffy. Sadly my experience even with some young christian women is that they are very much this way..stuffy, uptight..boring.
Not saying its everyone..just my opinions and my personal experiences so far. I know this will not forever be the case.

 

[rauleetoe]

Some people assume that CC is a dating website.! Zing...

Anyhoo, I know a couple of people who have met someone on a dating website- one of them actually married the girl he met on eharmony. Personally, I've tried, it didn't work out very well. lol

Same here..and months later and many dollars poorer..I was with less money in the back, and frustrated. And while i have met really cool and down to earth girls..almost all the girls i met were actually nice gals in some way or another..some were not christian, some seemed to be..at least religious..not sure if anything else. I am not wanting a religous person who only goes to church on sundays, but i want someone who is fun..can cut loose. Will love and accept me and will let herself be loved and appreciated. I think i have seen many people who have gone through so much hurt and rejection that when a guy who honestly sees some good/beauty in them comes around..they run for the hills and get scared. Which is a disappointment..but i cannot count how many times this has happened to me, or i have seen it. We need to renew our minds(myself included and be renewed and restored) before we can ever be good to anyone else. I see people who want God to bless them with a mate but they're in a such a bad place emotionally,mentally,relationally and spiritually that if God really did honor their prayer it would be detrimental to them at this time..and they'd probably not appreciate the other person anyways.

 

[rauleetoe]

I see dating websites as akin to searching for a mate. I have no desire or reason to search for a mate, in life or otherwise. I seek friends, and can do so through CC, or through work, or through any other of my normal life. I don't meet people with the intention of dating them, in real life or online. I meet people to get to know them and get to know them to love them more.

I think many dating sites take advantage of people's deepest, God given, desire to love and be loved. Can they work? Absolutely, but I can't agree with the mindset of meeting people with the intention of dating them, so I would never encourage someone to use such a service, or use it myself.

So true..many dating sites i hate to say but i feel prey on the very neediness of people who in various stages in their lives..want companionship. Yet i am realizing in my early 30s..its taken me long enough..that what we really need is God..we need the blood of Jesus to cover our lives on the daily..we need his presence every waking moment of our lives. That is all we really and truly 'need'. I have heard so many..i am sure the rest of you guys have too, who believe the lies of the enemy..i cannot take it anymore! I want a man, or I want a woman..i will just go get someone myself if God won't bless me! Well guess what..you just made marriage/dating a huge Golden calf idol in your life..and you need to repent.

 

[rauleetoe]

Agreed. The men I talked to claimed to be Christian but were not serious about their faith. I am a "take up your cross and follow me" Christian and want the man I date and marry to be the same. I read daily and am trying to apply the bible to my life, and most of the guys on there just don't. I want someone who loves God with his whole heart and strives to please God in everything he does. I'm not looking for perfection by any means, but someone who puts an importance on living God's way because that's what God asks us to do. The ones I encountered on Christian Mingle mostly didn't. And the ones who did weren't interested in me because I am a plus size gal. So I said bye bye and pulled my account down.

Well it happens Belle, I know you say many guys who pm you its because you..well are a pretty Belle..it comes with the territory, sorry that happens..but some guys that is all they see first off. As far as being a plus sized/'bbw' as how i call it. Nothing wrong with it..you will find someone who will appreciate an honest, consistently praying,bible reading sincere and caring woman that i have seen that you are friend. Will it take a minute or two for this to happen? Perhaps..but be encouraged..about the dating sites..yeah, i think i am officially done with them. Too many folks not being really honest with themselves, are too needy, or have no experience in 'dating' or how you said 'self marketing'. I myself had been guilty of that in the past..yea..Dating sites=no bueno...

 

[petergos]

Im only a new christian and have never dated a christian girl befor so I might be wrong with what is right what is wrong to the lord but I personnaly think it would be appropriate to meet someone online as its only a more modern form of communication. You just need to take caution and not believe everything you are told as you cant really know someone unless you met them.

 

[esswhy]

I used to be pretty anti-Christian dating sites- just because it did seem to me like people were searching for something more than what God offered them- which is everything! It's like- we should be satisfied with God- He is enough, after all. And if He really intends for us to be married, then He will send the right person our way.

But that's my own personal view. I think it's changing a bit, I don't know. I think as I've gotten older I've learnt to stop thinking that my opinion is the only one and the right one. I can see circumstances in which using a Christian dating site would still be God-glorifying- after all, God's command to us was to be fruitful and multiply and He's all about relationships and family. But personally, I still wouldn't do it :/