Christian guys confuse me!

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Deva_1972

Senior Member
Nov 3, 2011
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#41
also, we live in a world that being nice to someone is often mistaken for flirting. when I worked for a chiropractor, I often saw 2 elderly strangers carry on a conversation because that's how things used to be. but if there were 2 young people waiting for the doctor, they were usually lost in their phones.

I remember years ago, I went on a missions trip. on the way home, one of the guys sat next to me. we talked and talked and talked, and I was like "does he like me? is he just being nice? what gives, yo!" he didn't flirt with me. we just kept the convo going. we became good friends. we eventually ended up at the same college, and we would hang out. even people thought we were together. I liked him. I had no idea if he liked me. turned out he didn't cuz we stopped hanging out together as much. we were still friends though. so..... the moral of the story is.... we were just friends. lol.
I will often wonder the same thing about whether a guy likes me if I am good friends with a guy and I like him but I never ever bring it up with him...I guess I am the type who would rather enjoy it for what it is and not go there in my head. I don't want to risk asking and lose ALL contact, unless over time, sure, eventually we go our separate ways and get married to other people or whatever :)
 

Demi777

Senior Member
Oct 13, 2014
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#42
I will often wonder the same thing about whether a guy likes me if I am good friends with a guy and I like him but I never ever bring it up with him...I guess I am the type who would rather enjoy it for what it is and not go there in my head. I don't want to risk asking and lose ALL contact, unless over time, sure, eventually we go our separate ways and get married to other people or whatever :)
I just thought of a new way for u to seperate guys.
turn him around until he feels sick.
Then hold a beer in one hand and a alkazelzer in the other and if he goes for the alcazelzer hes good
:ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL::ROFL:
 

Deva_1972

Senior Member
Nov 3, 2011
201
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#43
And on the flip side, I have actually been 'cold' to guys because I was scared they would think I was after them...and then I get accused of not being approachable...its like you can't win either way! LOL Learning to let go of all that though and just be me and take each situation differently without assuming until I need to speak up :)
 

Deva_1972

Senior Member
Nov 3, 2011
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#47
They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would no doubt have continued with us: but they went out, that they might be made manifest that they were not all of us.

1 John 2:19



Liz, I believe I can relate to you on this. My heart actually hurts with you because I know what it feels like to really be genuinely interested in someone and the very next moment that person be a shadow or ghost to your very existence. I don't agree with that. Accountability these days seems to have gone completely out the window, Christian or not, and that's just sad. I had met a girl I was going to church with, and her name was Meagan, really sweet down to Earth person, and she seemed like a good hearted Christian woman. I finally got up the nerve to ask her out, and we went out on a few dates, and we started to get to know each other, and saw each other at church. Next thing I know, she's no longer my friend on Facebook, and she has stopped coming to church, and when I tried to message her to reach out to her and see if she was ok, she had blocked me from contacting her on messenger. I asked around to a few friends, to maybe get some input on if I had said something wrong, or done something, but apparently she wasn't who I thought she was, and with some people, if you stand back and observe, it doesn't take long for their true colors to bleed through, Christian or not, but I will say this, if a person is in Christ, they are not going to conduct themselves in that manner, that would be the same thing as deception, and we know our Lord and Savior is not the author of that, and we are to walk in the light, as He is in the light. You sound like a very nice beautiful lady, and I truly admire that you are taking the initiative to live for Christ and not work the way the world does, partying, drinking, drugs, that's an honor and blessing! If you're ever looking for someone to chat with, I'm no stranger, I'll be more than happy to talk to you!

I have had so many similar things like this happen to me with guys as well - perhaps not the exact same situation, but yeah, it makes no sense as to why people do that?? It will forever be a mystery to me and something that I have been praying alot about - just to meet people who are simply them, and not trying to be someone else and be deceitful!
 
Aug 2, 2009
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#48
I just think thats a given that every man wants sex.....christian or not..some just dont admit it..or at least...right away....
Mostly true, but there's a lot of men who have um.... health issues, either age-related or medical issues, or even psychological issues like depression that keep a lid on a man's desire for sex. It could be as simple as having low testosterone levels. (just saying)
 

Faith-n-Christ

Senior Member
May 12, 2016
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#50
I guess for young ladies it can be confusing. This world has become so techy and less talky. Like mention above, if I take my grandma anywhere, she is hitting up conversations with anyone and everyone. That's her generation. If a guy carries on a conversation in today's world, I can see the confusion.

When I went to TN for 6 months, I joined a FB hiking/ camping group. (I don't do the tourist stuff. I go for the local hidden gems) anyway, I started talking with this fella. We talked a good 6 months before I ever got to TN. We became FB friends. Yes I vetted him. His profile said single. He was very intuitive to my camping needs and safety. When I finally got there and we met face to face he was more so. Coming out checking on me, bringing firewood, messaging every few days. Calling after a storm. Showing me new camping locations. He even came out on Thanksgiving day. Finally even though he did not flirt nor indicated he was after anything but friend ship. I did let it be known in causal conversation I was not looking to date. He told me the same for he was involve with someone. I was relieved and happy I had a wonderful friend. We have been dear friends for 2 years now.

We have to be more intuned to the different cultures and personality types. Just cause a fella or gal carries on a lasting conversation. It doesn't mean anything more than good ole fashion fellowship, yes it could be a player, or someone looking for a friend, but like in my grandma's case. Simple fellowship. Old fashioned conversation!
 

melita916

Senior Member
Aug 12, 2011
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#51
From my teens yrs to adulthood, I didn’t get much attention from the opposite sex. So IF a guy bothered to have a convo with me, my brain and heart automatically wondered why and if he was interested. There were a couple of times I went for coffee with a guy friend and wondered why it never went anywhere. Duh, Melita! It was coffee with a friend! Lol.

Our heart and mind can come up with all kinds of scenarios. Silly us. lol.
 

pery

Junior Member
May 8, 2018
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#53
@lizw47
As I was reading I kept thinking to myself "this guy wants sex".
He works in a place where he sees all sorts of people come and go, interacts with people from all over the world. He no doubt has learned how to speak and act to women to put himself out there in a way that seems to perfectly fit them.
If I had to guess I'd say you're not the first to get this act. Nor the last.

It is a bit naive to assume that everyone that uses the label Christian means it. Including the hostel owners. These are strangers.

There was a serial killer active for 20 years that was never caught when he disappeared. Years later he began killing again. He was caught this time and was discovered to be a married man and... a church deacon.
A Christian needs to prove themselves and you can't do that in a short trip.

Also going away from home can often lead to a sense of romantic connection. I went out of state to visit relatives once and met a girl there. The same thing happened to me. I was enamored by her. It's actually a pretty well known behavior.
correct!