Christian Marriage is the best

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rainacorn

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It's kind of sad how many threads in this family forum are about divorce or failing relationships.

As Christians, we are expected to surrender control to God and love our neighbors as ourselves. Many of us claim to be Christians, and by extension, do those things.

So then why is it so hard to do in a relationship? Why is it that, in a marriage, we don't want to surrender any control? We don't want to love our partner as we love ourselves? Why is it so much easier to treat a total stranger with respect and then talk crap about our spouse to our friends and family members?

The influence of the world on marriage has been powerful. It's distorted our view of things to the point where even Christians honestly believe it's supposed to be a romantic world of mutual self-indulgence, easily thrown away when it's lost its luster. The Bible makes it pretty clear that marriage has a function and a purpose... and it's not to make us feel this way or that. It's to strengthen our societies and make babies for God.

When we get married, we enter into a covenant with God. A covenant is a holy promise... a solemn oath. It's not a piece of paper you can just tear up. It's a deal you made with GOD. Yes, you can be forgiven for divorce, but don't think that's a good excuse to marry someone God didn't send you or walk away from something because it's not fun anymore. Being a wife or a husband is like a second job. Being a parent is then a third job. It's not easy and it's not always fun.... but it's not about you.

We really need to step it up as Christians. We can't just pick and choose which parts of the Bible we want to listen to. God is clear on what marriage is about and the roles of men and women. We keep inventing options for how to live and justify all sorts of wrong behavior and choices. Stick to your Bibles. Keep God #1 in your life and at the center of your marriage and maybe there won't be so many threads about family tragedy and divorce!!!!!
 
Amen sister. As a believer who has found himself in such a situation I encourage all believers to be deligent in keeping Christ the focus of your marriage and family. When we do not we allow the adversary to exploit the lowering of our armor. And he enjoys the life devastating effects divorce has on believers and their children.

Like you I pray the body of believers wake up and adhere to Gods word as it is written. Not a conviently watered down commercially secular version.

We are all slaves with two choices. Be a slave to the flesh or a slave to Gods Word.
 
The influence of the world on marriage has been powerful. It's distorted our view of things to the point where even Christians honestly believe it's supposed to be a romantic world of mutual self-indulgence, easily thrown away when it's lost its luster. The Bible makes it pretty clear that marriage has a function and a purpose... and it's not to make us feel this way or that. It's to strengthen our societies and make babies for God.
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Let me add my "Amen" to Stephen's. One of the downfalls of our country was the introduction of "no fault divorce". In God's eyes, there is no such thing as "mutual incompatibility".
 
Very well said, sister. I think there are many successful marriages out there. In the chat room, though, is where hurting people come for some encouragement and support. Maybe it would be helpful for those viewers who have been married for many years and have made it over the bumps to share what has worked for them.

My husband and I have been married for 25 years and I think if our marriage was going to fail, it would have done so by now. Infidelity is probably the biggest danger. We made it past that probably because of our Godly vow to each other. That's a glue that doesn't come unstuck easily. Even for spouses that love each other deeply, there comes the temptation of forbidden fruit. But God sees and that is a big deterrent.

Commitment to children also is a big draw to remaining faithful to your spouse. When we learn to put others welfare before our own 'happiness' then we do find true 'happiness'.
 
I want to thank you for this post. I have struggled with prayer about my husband not having faith in the lord. He supports me in my faith, but when it is time to go to church he will smile and say he guess he will fish this sunday. It seems like he is afraid of attending church. I leave him a bible scripture in his wallet every morning with "smiles and have a blessed day". He always seems to enjoy these and grin at me, but his own faith he will not discuss.I have torn myslef apart over this lately, praying for answers and for god to be a part in my marriage. God did answer me. . . He said"Be Still". Now I know that he will take care of it in his own time, God's time, not mine. I was focussing on what I wanted instead of God's will and missing the answer the enitre time. Give it to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7
 
My wife and I are Christians, and we've been married 21 years. Certainly, marriage is no bed of roses, and there will be a lot of challenges. Most of the Christian couples in our extended families have been married for decades, as well, and I agree that the looking at it as a covenant relationship between three people (God, husband and wife) rather than just two and deciding that divorce is just not an option is helpful, although sometimes the covenant is broken by a person, not God, before the marriage even dissolves.

I also agree that children are a part of the covenant. It's almost as if they seal the covenant, although I know that's a God thing. I would never dream of breaking up my family, no matter how bad things got, unless there was abuse or something involved.
 
LaShae said:
I want to thank you for this post. I have struggled with prayer about my husband not having faith in the lord. He supports me in my faith, but when it is time to go to church he will smile and say he guess he will fish this sunday. It seems like he is afraid of attending church. I leave him a bible scripture in his wallet every morning with "smiles and have a blessed day". He always seems to enjoy these and grin at me, but his own faith he will not discuss.I have torn myslef apart over this lately, praying for answers and for god to be a part in my marriage. God did answer me. . . He said"Be Still". Now I know that he will take care of it in his own time, God's time, not mine. I was focussing on what I wanted instead of God's will and missing the answer the enitre time. Give it to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7
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This instantly made me think of Lee Strobel. He was an atheist, as was his wife. She became a Christian after they were married. She didn't really pressure him into becoming one too, just prayed super hard for him.

God did His thing and now Lee Strobel is not only a Christian, but a great Christian Apologist!

There are many stories like this. I'm glad you've found a bit of peace here and I'll be praying for you and your family. :)
 
LaShae said:
I want to thank you for this post. I have struggled with prayer about my husband not having faith in the lord. He supports me in my faith, but when it is time to go to church he will smile and say he guess he will fish this sunday. It seems like he is afraid of attending church. I leave him a bible scripture in his wallet every morning with "smiles and have a blessed day". He always seems to enjoy these and grin at me, but his own faith he will not discuss.I have torn myslef apart over this lately, praying for answers and for god to be a part in my marriage. God did answer me. . . He said"Be Still". Now I know that he will take care of it in his own time, God's time, not mine. I was focussing on what I wanted instead of God's will and missing the answer the enitre time. Give it to the Lord. 1 Peter 5:7
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I would also recommend not getting frustrated even if you dont notice any changes. I mean a lot of guys just keep things to themselves. So you may be doing a lot more good than you think.
 
Thank you all for putting this here. I created a thread in the singles forum for our married friends to post helpful hints for successful, long lasting christian marriages, as so many of what we see reflects anger, bitterness and disappointment toward marriage.
 
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