Christians Dating Non-christians

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Lalilo

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What if you meet someone you really like but they are not a christian, do you take a change that they will want to be saved after you have enlightened them? Or is it taboo? Anyone got passed experiences to back up yes or no?
 
I know 2 Cor 6 is against it [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]1 Cor. 7:39 is about as clear as it can get[/FONT], i've heard some interpretations claim for the possibility of equal yoking.
Paul also encourages, in the case of such 'yokes' to stay together, 1 cor 7:12-16, Peter 3:1-2

Orthodoxy is that its taboo as far as I know.
There's going to be a discussion on campus about this today.
 
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Personal experience for myself and others I know is that a non-christian will not change by dating a Christian. It ends up in heartache eventually when values are too different, and you cannot share your heart for God with the person because they do not understand where you are coming from. Also, in the OT there are times when God tells the Israelites not to marry outside of their people. (This is OT and it can be taken as inter-racial or religious differences...presently, I do not believe there is an issue with inter-racial relationships.) Looking at it as religious differences...if God told His people not to intermarry, then he has someone for them within their own people group. I think that we can apply that to ourselves. In the NT as Thomas60 mentioned, we are to be equally yoked. God would not tell us not to intermarry and then leave us stranded. We have to trust that he has someone for us who is also a Christian, and who we can be in a relationship with while encouraging each other in our walks with Christ.
 
Personally I would only date a Christian because I know we share the same values. That is not to say that non Christians don't have values or morals but in general not the same that we do. I also believe that though your relationship with God is a personal one, I would like my church and fellowship life to be family oriented. I just can't imagine having a man that does not have my same beliefs going to all my church functions.
 
Lalilo said:
What if you meet someone you really like but they are not a christian, do you take a change that they will want to be saved after you have enlightened them? Or is it taboo? Anyone got passed experiences to back up yes or no?
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I would say not to date a non-Christian if you are a Christian but for different reasons. My Ex was a Christian when we started dating. She had true faith and truly believed. I was the heathen and pressured her to do things I should not have done. I loved her, then and now, and so I justified it to her and myself that I knew what was right for us. When she would want to pray to GOD for guidance, I would make her believe that I should make the call because I was going to be the head of our family. I was selfish and so many other things I don't want to mention, but I made her do all sort of things she knew was wrong but I used her love for me against her. I hate that I did it and I have asked GOD and her for forgiveness and I know GOD has forgiven me but for anyone I would say that I brought my Ex more heartache than happiness. I hope I helped you, GOD bless.

Also I should mention that I became a believer after she left and I saw what I was doing to myself and her. She changed me into the person I am but she will never have the rewards of seeing that change I made because I made it to late.
 
hikerki said:
Personal experience for myself and others I know is that a non-christian will not change by dating a Christian.
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They can, but it's just not worth the risk for me. More likely to end in bitterness.
I used to find Christians so annoying. (generally) they did none of what I did to be happy, drinking, partying etc, and they seemed to have more fulfillment........would of been enough to drive me up the wall had I been dating a Christian at the time!!! At the end of the day, sex before marriage would be a big issue in most relationships, even if you start out with good intentions.
Without Jesus as their Saviour, it's unfair to expect people to back you up in arguments, and share Christian values.
 
I'm currently dating an agnostic/buddhist/jew? Haha. We almost NEVER talk about faith or politics. It's kind of a little rule we have just to keep the peace. I'm totally okay with dating a non-Christian girl, so long as she is not against my beliefs. She is not, and therefore I am fine with dating her. She's a very moral-based girl and even though she is not Christian she pretty much has all the basic morals that I would look for in a wife.
 
lordsservant121 said:
I would say not to date a non-Christian if you are a Christian but for different reasons. My Ex was a Christian when we started dating. She had true faith and truly believed. I was the heathen and pressured her to do things I should not have done. I loved her, then and now, and so I justified it to her and myself that I knew what was right for us. When she would want to pray to GOD for guidance, I would make her believe that I should make the call because I was going to be the head of our family. I was selfish and so many other things I don't want to mention, but I made her do all sort of things she knew was wrong but I used her love for me against her. I hate that I did it and I have asked GOD and her for forgiveness and I know GOD has forgiven me but for anyone I would say that I brought my Ex more heartache than happiness. I hope I helped you, GOD bless.

Also I should mention that I became a believer after she left and I saw what I was doing to myself and her. She changed me into the person I am but she will never have the rewards of seeing that change I made because I made it to late.
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Thank you so much for sharing that about yourself. It takes so much courage to admit our past faults especially when they are ones that have hurt others. I really appreciate you sharing.
 
If you put dirty washing with clean washing, will the dirty washing become clean?

Likewise, unless God washes this other person, you are not to assume that they will become clean. It is usually the case that the unsaved person will have more effect on the saved person than the other way around.
 
in any relationship there are always going to be things you dont like or share its just a question of can you put those things past you. i date people for who they are not what they belive
 
SonOfAdam said:
If you put dirty washing with clean washing, will the dirty washing become clean?

Likewise, unless God washes this other person, you are not to assume that they will become clean. It is usually the case that the unsaved person will have more effect on the saved person than the other way around.
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Very interesting way of putting it...I like that.
 
Christian life, and relationships are hard enough without seeing a non Christian........

Personally speaking, I find it difficult to set aside time to read and pray, I know if I dated someone who maybe respected what I believed, but didn't want to join me, it would be an uphill battle to spend time with God! And I don't want to sacrifice time with God for my partner, which would probably make me resent them at some point.

It's worth holding out for the right Christian, yes being human you will disagree on some things........but sharing the love of God at the centre of a relationship would give you the desire to overcome disagreements together!

Ultimately it's clearly not Gods will for us, God honours those who follow His will. We shouldn't want to disobey for the sake of passing pleasure on earth
 
thimsrebma said:
Thank you so much for sharing that about yourself. It takes so much courage to admit our past faults especially when they are ones that have hurt others. I really appreciate you sharing.
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I just hope I can stop the pain of someone else. If someone can learn from my mistakes, then so be it. If not, I am here to talk them through the pain. Thanks for the encouragement. GOD bless.
 
Opinion: Having watched christian members of my family become involved with non-christians leads me to say that it's not a good idea. Since marriage is a covenant between God, a husband and a wife, why would anyone want to date someone with whom they could not have such a covenant? Seems like dating someone you couldn't marry would most likely be hurtful to one or both at some point.

Basis: Although my stepdad will always be my hero (He's DAD to me), he was not a christian until shortly before he passed away. He would sometimes get upset with my mom because he wanted to do things that were against her faith, and my mom had to attend church functions alone and be the spiritual leader of our home. While we were/are a very loving family, I can't help but think how much richer and more secure our lives would have been if our family was as God intended - TWO godly parents raising their family in a God-covenant marriage.

Both of my brothers married non-christians...several times. It's been an emotional rollercoaster for them, their children and for those of us who love them.

Just something to keep in mind...not everyone who tells you they are a christian really is. I've dated guys before who SAID they were. They lied.
 
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