Chronically lonely

[HistoryPrincess]

I'm blessed in a lot of ways, but I have my fair share of struggles. My Aspergers being one thing. Another is my melancholy personality and how easily I can become depressed. One more is my sense of loneliness and isolation. What I mean is I feel isolated from the rest of the world for reasons beyond my control, and despite my efforts to get out and reach out and initiate, I haven't had one close friend in years. I'm also 25 and have never been on one date.

Sometimes I wish the church would take loneliness as seriously as other things. It may not be as obvious but that should be all the more reason to take it seriously.

I feel like my loneliness has contributed to my anger, feeling like I'm being ignored despite my efforts both by people and by God, and being resentful toward God for making me this way, if he did.

I don't know if it's due to my personality or black and white way of thinking, but my loneliness has made me cry certain evenings. Not all the time, but sometimes it all just brings me to tears. And then that's usually laced with guilt for feeling like these struggles of mine are insignificant given how blessed I am.

So there you have it, my life story. Even as I write this I feel like I want to cry.

It's too hard to pray for myself anymore. I pray for others but not myself. Praying for myself just makes me feel like I'll be ignored. But if any of you want to pray for me that's fine too.

 

[PerfectlyImperfect]

First I wanted to tell you that you're not alone in this struggle. I too struggle in this area and yes its a shame the church doesnt seem to understand how loneliness is an important issue that needs to be address. I myself am more of an introvert and I perfer to stay to myself, however because God created us to need other people its natural to desire relationships with others. We all need affection and someone to listen to us. God knows what we need, but most of the time we still have to ask him for it. Ive shed a few tears myself over loneliness. However sinful loneliness has led me to do things that were not holy, so when its sinful loneliness I suggest trying to be more aware of God's presence. For instance just imagine him sitting on the edge of your bed or at the table with you like you are literally the only one in the world he cares for; and hopefully it brings a smile to your face and lifts your spirit. In the meantime I'll pray he sends us both some friends.

 

[HistoryPrincess]

First I wanted to tell you that you're not alone in this struggle. I too struggle in this area and yes its a shame the church doesnt seem to understand how loneliness is an important issue that needs to be address. I myself am more of an introvert and I perfer to stay to myself, however because God created us to need other people its natural to desire relationships with others. We all need affection and someone to listen to us. God knows what we need, but most of the time we still have to ask him for it. Ive shed a few tears myself over loneliness. However sinful loneliness has led me to do things that were not holy, so when its sinful loneliness I suggest trying to be more aware of God's presence. For instance just imagine him sitting on the edge of your bed or at the table with you like you are literally the only one in the world he cares for; and hopefully it brings a smile to your face and lifts your spirit. In the meantime I'll pray he sends us both some friends.

Thank you.

 

[danja]

Hey sister my pm is open if you want to talk and be friends .hugs <3 love you

 

[levi85]

Lord we pray, bless HistoryPrincess, and this prayer, in Jesus gracious name, Amen!

 

[crmvet]

Psalm 18:28

 

[RickyZ]

I'm blessed in a lot of ways, but I have my fair share of struggles. My Aspergers being one thing. Another is my melancholy personality and how easily I can become depressed. One more is my sense of loneliness and isolation. What I mean is I feel isolated from the rest of the world for reasons beyond my control, and despite my efforts to get out and reach out and initiate, I haven't had one close friend in years. I'm also 25 and have never been on one date.

Sometimes I wish the church would take loneliness as seriously as other things. It may not be as obvious but that should be all the more reason to take it seriously.

I feel like my loneliness has contributed to my anger, feeling like I'm being ignored despite my efforts both by people and by God, and being resentful toward God for making me this way, if he did.

I don't know if it's due to my personality or black and white way of thinking, but my loneliness has made me cry certain evenings. Not all the time, but sometimes it all just brings me to tears. And then that's usually laced with guilt for feeling like these struggles of mine are insignificant given how blessed I am.

So there you have it, my life story. Even as I write this I feel like I want to cry.

It's too hard to pray for myself anymore. I pray for others but not myself. Praying for myself just makes me feel like I'll be ignored. But if any of you want to pray for me that's fine too.

You can pretty much tack my name onto that as a co-author. I haven't found an answer yet other than perseverance till the end, but one thing I do try to keep in mind is this:

You can tell how much satan fears someone's potential in God by how hard he works to hold them under.

Father, don't let satan hold us under.

 

[Solemateleft]

I'm blessed in a lot of ways, but I have my fair share of struggles. My Aspergers being one thing. Another is my melancholy personality and how easily I can become depressed. One more is my sense of loneliness and isolation. What I mean is I feel isolated from the rest of the world for reasons beyond my control, and despite my efforts to get out and reach out and initiate, I haven't had one close friend in years. I'm also 25 and have never been on one date.

Sometimes I wish the church would take loneliness as seriously as other things. It may not be as obvious but that should be all the more reason to take it seriously.

I feel like my loneliness has contributed to my anger, feeling like I'm being ignored despite my efforts both by people and by God, and being resentful toward God for making me this way, if he did.

I don't know if it's due to my personality or black and white way of thinking, but my loneliness has made me cry certain evenings. Not all the time, but sometimes it all just brings me to tears. And then that's usually laced with guilt for feeling like these struggles of mine are insignificant given how blessed I am.

So there you have it, my life story. Even as I write this I feel like I want to cry.

It's too hard to pray for myself anymore. I pray for others but not myself. Praying for myself just makes me feel like I'll be ignored. But if any of you want to pray for me that's fine too.

Greetings Princess, I have tremendous empathy for your scenario - I'm praying that our lord blesses you with strength and perseverance thru your struggles... I pray you find peace and happiness along your journey.

God Bless

 

[ThirstyForTruth]

I believe there are people in this world who are waiting for someone like you to become their friend. God bless your future and current relationships that they become fruitful in name of Jesus.

 

[Godsgirl83]

Hello HP. Thank you for being brave enough to share your struggles. I understand how you feel. For most of my teen years I felt the same way. Oh I was a "good church girl" and as I got older (17, 18, 19)I was the oldest in a small youth group ( average 6-8 kids, from about 12-14yrs old) there was always pressure to be "their role model" (because they look up to you) I was also only one in my age group that was a "regular". Sure once in a while someone my age might have popped in, but they weren't part of the little "family" I felt suffocated, I felt like I couldn't stand up and speak out when some of the older people were flat out wrong because "good girls don't disrespect their elders" I felt that even though I was always surrounded by people I was alone because even though everyone claimed they "knew" me, no one ever took the time to "KNOW" me. None of them knew of the molestation done to me (at a VERY YOUNG AGE) by a family member who was also attending and was a "good young man" None of them knew how much the bullies at school pierced my very being with their words and deeds after all "sticks and stones can break bones but words CAN NEVER HURT YOU" WORDS are a very POWERFUL tool. None of them knew how just a few years before my family started attending that church I had missed a week of school to be in a psych ward because of "depression" that lead to an attempted suicide! And let me tell you, there were NO answers in that week in that ward. Only when we had our "quiet alone time" and I could break out and dust off my Bible did I start to find answers and get "help". To this I agree:

Sometimes I wish the church would take loneliness as seriously as other things. It may not be as obvious but that should be all the more reason to take it seriously.

As I'm writing this one thing just came to mind, even though Jesus was surrounded by people, even though He had his disciples and followers He still KNEW loneliness. Despite the many people around Him, none of them ever knew what He was going through to get to the cross so that YOU and I and every other person could be free from the bondage's Satan tries to inflict upon us.

I feel like my loneliness has contributed to my anger, feeling like I'm being ignored despite my efforts both by people and by God, and being resentful toward God for making me this way, if he did.

First of all, God DID NOT make you like this. He made you in HIS image. He loves you, He wants the best for you! That melancholy personality you feel you have IS NOT WHO YOU ARE. Now it may be that God made you somebody who is more quiet and reserved, but that sad gloomy feeling isn't part of Gods plan for you. Loneliness, anger depression........ it all goes hand in hand. And it ALL comes from the same source..... Satan..... who is using this against you to try and keep you from ALL that God has for you! John 10:10 tells us that the thief (that's Satan) comes ONLY to STEAL KILL AND DESTROY but I have come that they may have LIFE and have it ABUNDANTLY.
I know this feeling too:

Even as I write this I feel like I want to cry.

It's OKAY to cry. Sometimes we have to cry the pain out. And sometimes it feels silly doing so... but don't stop at the end of a cry. Go on to thanking the Lord for the many blessings He has bestowed upon you. It might feel silly, it might feel like your words are bouncing off the wall (THEY"RE NOT) you might not feel an immediate response or change.
In James 4 it tells us (italic parts are my interpretations):
Submit yourselves,(follow God, do as He instructs) then, to God. Resist the devil, (don't give into doom and gloom, don't focus on how miserable you feel at the moment) and he will flee from you.(when we resist Satan and focus on God and what HE has done for us, Satan has to flea from us. The devil CAN"T STAND IT) Come near to God and he will come near to you.( He's a gentleman. He's NOT going to barge in on you and demand you do this....... He's waiting for you to come to Him.)

It's too hard to pray for myself anymore. I pray for others but not myself. Praying for myself just makes me feel like I'll be ignored. But if any of you want to pray for me that's fine too.

A few verses for you to look up concerning prayer for yourself:
1 Peter 5:7
Philippians 4:6
Matthew 11:28
And I'll be praying for you!
One more verse for you: Matthew 28:20 (I use to hear "church people quote this as "low, even when you are as low as you can go" and sometimes I really hated hearing them joke like that. "lo" Websters dictionary meaning: used to draw attention to an interesting or amazing event.)
Matt 28:20: "lo, I am with you always" (lo: pay attention to this interesting AMAZING thing that He is saying: He is with YOU always).

HP I pray this this helps you in some way. If you want to reach me, just leave a message on my profile page and let me know. I'm leaving you with this song:
Blessings!

 

[Mezame83]

HP, I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I will be praying for you. Blessings

 

[HistoryPrincess]

Hey everyone. Thank you all for your words.

Right now I'm feeling immense anxiety. I think one reason I often feel the way I do is because of my very inconsistent sleep patterns. I'm a night owl, and I live in a world of early birds.

But it's not just sleep that's an issue. I just feel like I don't belong anywhere, even in the church.

Bottomline I'm tired but can't rest. I can't get away from my anxiety no matter what I do. And whenever I'm online, no one else is.

I know, this all sounds pathetic coming from a 25-year-old. But I didn't care what people thought of me in high school and I sure as heck don't care now!

 

[Godsgirl83]

Hey everyone. Thank you all for your words.

Right now I'm feeling immense anxiety. I think one reason I often feel the way I do is because of my very inconsistent sleep patterns. I'm a night owl, and I live in a world of early birds.

But it's not just sleep that's an issue. I just feel like I don't belong anywhere, even in the church.

Bottomline I'm tired but can't rest. I can't get away from my anxiety no matter what I do. And whenever I'm online, no one else is.

I know, this all sounds pathetic coming from a 25-year-old. But I didn't care what people thought of me in high school and I sure as heck don't care now!

Sweetie, one step, one day at a time.
1 Peter 5:7 " cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
It DOES NOT sound pathetic. I don't care how old someone is, loneliness, depression, anxiety, etc... can affect any age. But none of it comes from God. Keep reaching out. YOU ARE GOING TO OVERCOME!
Blessings!

 

[HistoryPrincess]

Sweetie, one step, one day at a time.
1 Peter 5:7 " cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
It DOES NOT sound pathetic. I don't care how old someone is, loneliness, depression, anxiety, etc... can affect any age. But none of it comes from God. Keep reaching out. YOU ARE GOING TO OVERCOME!
Blessings!

Thank you.

I guess this is why I find writing fiction therapeutic. When I'm writing I'm in control of what happens.

 

[Jen1167]

I'm blessed in a lot of ways, but I have my fair share of struggles. My Aspergers being one thing. Another is my melancholy personality and how easily I can become depressed. One more is my sense of loneliness and isolation. What I mean is I feel isolated from the rest of the world for reasons beyond my control, and despite my efforts to get out and reach out and initiate, I haven't had one close friend in years. I'm also 25 and have never been on one date.

Sometimes I wish the church would take loneliness as seriously as other things. It may not be as obvious but that should be all the more reason to take it seriously.

I feel like my loneliness has contributed to my anger, feeling like I'm being ignored despite my efforts both by people and by God, and being resentful toward God for making me this way, if he did.

I don't know if it's due to my personality or black and white way of thinking, but my loneliness has made me cry certain evenings. Not all the time, but sometimes it all just brings me to tears. And then that's usually laced with guilt for feeling like these struggles of mine are insignificant given how blessed I am.

So there you have it, my life story. Even as I write this I feel like I want to cry.

It's too hard to pray for myself anymore. I pray for others but not myself. Praying for myself just makes me feel like I'll be ignored. But if any of you want to pray for me that's fine too.

I will pray for you. I do understand what you're feeling. I struggle with depression and feel so left out of the church. I feel invisible sometimes. I also have gotten mad at God because I grew up in a very abusive home and I feel like if God would have just given me normal parents I wouldn't be like this. I do realize that it really isn't God's fault though because He has given all of us free will and sometimes bad things just happen because we live in a fallen world. God feels your pain and when others don't acknowledge us He is the only one that is there. He is saddened by our pain. One day you will be perfect in God's heaven. Hang in there!

 

[HistoryPrincess]

I will pray for you. I do understand what you're feeling. I struggle with depression and feel so left out of the church. I feel invisible sometimes. I also have gotten mad at God because I grew up in a very abusive home and I feel like if God would have just given me normal parents I wouldn't be like this. I do realize that it really isn't God's fault though because He has given all of us free will and sometimes bad things just happen because we live in a fallen world. God feels your pain and when others don't acknowledge us He is the only one that is there. He is saddened by our pain. One day you will be perfect in God's heaven. Hang in there!

Thank you.

It's also disheartening when you're trying to write what could be your debut novel, then you post the rough drafts of the chapters for feedback on three different sites, and you get little to no feedback to 2 weeks.

Not asking anybody to do anything. Just saying.

 

[GtrPkr]

I tell God all the time that I'm tired of my own complaints so I know He must be too Lol... You're not alone

 

[HistoryPrincess]

[QUOTE="For instance just imagine him sitting on the edge of your bed or at the table with you like you are literally the only one in the world he cares for; and hopefully it brings a smile to your face and lifts your spirit. In the meantime I'll pray he sends us both some friends.[/QUOTE]
I've tried that.

A lot.

Didn't work.

He may be God but he's not another human being.

 

[GtrPkr]

[QUOTE="For instance just imagine him sitting on the edge of your bed or at the table with you like you are literally the only one in the world he cares for; and hopefully it brings a smile to your face and lifts your spirit. In the meantime I'll pray he sends us both some friends.

I've tried that.

A lot.

Didn't work.

He may be God but he's not another human being.[/QUOTE]
Lol.... Reminds me of that song,"What if God was one of us... Just a stranger on the bus... Trying to make his way home..."
Of course the answer is, then he wouldn't be God. If you meet someone on the bus claiming to be God... watch your purse!!!

 

[HistoryPrincess]

It's like every time I plan something with anyone, it always ends up with rescheduling and more waiting.

I don't know why I bother reaching out to anyone in my life since everyone is always, always busy.