~Chuckle for the Day~

[Karlon]

HOLD ON EVERYBODY, THIS NEWS JUST IN: a man driving down the road gets pulled over by a policeman & the policeman says, "you're drunk"! the driver says, "well, thank God for that, i thought the steering had gone"!

 

[Zandar]

she's jealous of me, didnt even exist yet.

 

[Karlon]

i forgot to remember that remembering what you're suppose to remember is not forgetting what you're suppose to remember!

 

[Karlon]

my wife wanted to go someplace expensive over the weekend so i took her to the Mobile Station!

 

[Karlon]

another umpire got attacked by a fan. that's not fair. with their poor eyesight, you know umpires can't pick out suspects in a line up!

 

[Bingo]

#ICAMETOSHARE

 

[Bingo]

#ICAMETOSHARE

 

[Karlon]

people are getting stronger. 40 years ago, it took 2 people to carry $10 worth of groceries. today, a 5 year old can do it!

 

[TheLearner]

another umpire got attacked by a fan. that's not fair. with their poor eyesight, you know umpires can't pick out suspects in a line up!

we can smell them.

 

[TheLearner]

 

[Zandar]

 

[Karlon]

if your wife doesn't treat you right, stay with her anyway; there's no better way of punishing her!

 

[Karlon]

a nurse says to the doctor: "the man you just gave a clean bill of health just dropped dead outside your office". the doctor says, "turn him around, make it look like he's walking in"!

 

[Zandar]

There was a guy that I thought was in a wreck in town laying in a ditch outside a doctors office so i told the guys at work when i got back from lunch and one said, i know that doctor and he probably had just treated the that guy.

 

[Karlon]

i went on a diet for 2 weeks, swore off drinking & heavy eating. in 2 weeks, i lost 14 days!

 

[Karlon]

remember: "a penny saved is a penny earned"? now, it's: "a penny saved is a penny worthless"!

 

[Zandar]

Vox · 2 min
VIDEO: Cow Burps Are a Climate Problem. Can Seaweed Help?
Changing the diet of cows might help them release less methane.

 

[Zandar]

I'm not even making this mess up.

 

[GaryA]

Yes - 'mess up' is a good phrase to use to describe the situation...

"Way too many people in this world are [just] so messed-up."

I sometimes use the term 'rare sense' instead of 'common sense'...

 

[Karlon]

patient: "doctor, am i getting better"? doctor: "i don't know, let feel your purse"!