Church

[JFSurvivor]

I have had some bad experiences in the church...

I was going through a hard time and I needed support from the church and they weren't there for me.

Every time I bring this up I seem to get the same responses every time: "The church is made up of imperfect people." "Stop looking for the perfect church" Blah blah blah.

I am not looking for a perfect church. I am looking for a church where ya know...I feel loved. I feel like people come up with more excuses as to why the church is the way it is and reasons as to why I'm wrong or I'm not spiritual enough. I just want to be loved. Is that really too much to ask?

Also here is a question for you: Have you ever been hurt by the church? If so how and what did you do to get over it?

 

[3Scoreand10]

I have had some bad experiences in the church...

I was going through a hard time and I needed support from the church and they weren't there for me.

Every time I bring this up I seem to get the same responses every time: "The church is made up of imperfect people." "Stop looking for the perfect church" Blah blah blah.

I am not looking for a perfect church. I am looking for a church where ya know...I feel loved. I feel like people come up with more excuses as to why the church is the way it is and reasons as to why I'm wrong or I'm not spiritual enough. I just want to be loved. Is that really too much to ask?

Also here is a question for you: Have you ever been hurt by the church? If so how and what did you do to get over it?

Have I ever been hurt by a church? Yes, several times.
What did I do? First I looked at me to see if I brought it upon my self. Next I asked God to forgive them, I forgave them, and I moved on.

I would suggest that you avoid those large churches with their fancy buildings that have pastors with Dr. after their name, and search out a small group in a small building that are not dressed in suits and fancy clothes.
A group of people who are not trying to impress anyone, just glorify Jesus.

 

[Sirk]

I have had some bad experiences in the church...

I was going through a hard time and I needed support from the church and they weren't there for me.

Every time I bring this up I seem to get the same responses every time: "The church is made up of imperfect people." "Stop looking for the perfect church" Blah blah blah.

I am not looking for a perfect church. I am looking for a church where ya know...I feel loved. I feel like people come up with more excuses as to why the church is the way it is and reasons as to why I'm wrong or I'm not spiritual enough. I just want to be loved. Is that really too much to ask?

Also here is a question for you: Have you ever been hurt by the church? If so how and what did you do to get over it?

Church is what you make it and good fellowship requires time and effort. I see so many people give up after they don't receive something as simple as a returned phone call. If you want fellowship...you gotta go after it. Building friendships doesn't happen in a day.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I have had some bad experiences in the church...

I was going through a hard time and I needed support from the church and they weren't there for me.

Every time I bring this up I seem to get the same responses every time: "The church is made up of imperfect people." "Stop looking for the perfect church" Blah blah blah.

I am not looking for a perfect church. I am looking for a church where ya know...I feel loved. I feel like people come up with more excuses as to why the church is the way it is and reasons as to why I'm wrong or I'm not spiritual enough. I just want to be loved. Is that really too much to ask?

Also here is a question for you: Have you ever been hurt by the church? If so how and what did you do to get over it?

The Church is prone to this kind of criticism, and rightly so. As the saying goes, "The problem with Christianity is Christians." For what it's worth to you, JFSurvivor, I hope you can find people within the Church - CC included - to offer compassion and love, especially when you need it most. You're welcome to PM me, even, if you want someone to talk with.

I have not been "hurt," per se, but I have been a little offended by a pastor of a previous congregation. His advice at the time was sound, but the abrasive remark that accompanied it made me feel unwelcome.

Feel better, JF, and use these experiences as a growing opportunity. You can succeed for others and for yourself where your church may have failed you.

 

[JFSurvivor]

So a little bit about me: I have PTSD. I was not in the military. I was sexually assaulted and I went to the church for help and instead of feeling loved I felt blamed and rejected. This not only happened at one church but 3.

 

[breno785au]

I have had some bad experiences in the church...

I was going through a hard time and I needed support from the church and they weren't there for me.

Every time I bring this up I seem to get the same responses every time: "The church is made up of imperfect people." "Stop looking for the perfect church" Blah blah blah.

I am not looking for a perfect church. I am looking for a church where ya know...I feel loved. I feel like people come up with more excuses as to why the church is the way it is and reasons as to why I'm wrong or I'm not spiritual enough. I just want to be loved. Is that really too much to ask?

Also here is a question for you: Have you ever been hurt by the church? If so how and what did you do to get over it?

Yep, some heavy spiritual bashing. Forgiveness is the key, I don't see the minister that I was under anymore since we left but I would love to reconcile with him one day. And your anchor being in Jesus is also the difference between someone leaving the church and faith or just leaving a church and continuing your walk in God. Cast your cares upon Jesus for He cares for you and pray for guidance to find a good church, He will. Ask Him where He wants you, He surely guides us. I'm speaking from experience here.

 

[Sirk]

So a little bit about me: I have PTSD. I was not in the military. I was sexually assaulted and I went to the church for help and instead of feeling loved I felt blamed and rejected. This not only happened at one church but 3.

Would not have happened at my church. We have a counseling dept that is specifically designed to help hurting people.

 

[Siberian_Khatru]

I was sexually assaulted and I went to the church for help and instead of feeling loved I felt blamed and rejected.

*sigh* This seems like such a prevalent thing. It breaks my heart, no matter how may times I hear it.

I don't know how you approached your congregations, JFSurvivor, but I feel that people lack compassion because they lack empathy or understanding. Perhaps finding a support group, or even just one or two people, that know from first hand experience what you've been through, is your most promising course.

 

[JFSurvivor]

*sigh* This seems like such a prevalent thing. It breaks my heart, no matter how may times I hear it.

I don't know how you approached your congregations, JFSurvivor, but I feel that people lack compassion because they lack empathy or understanding. Perhaps finding a support group, or even just one or two people, that know from first hand experience what you've been through, is your most promising course.

Where can I find a support group?

 

[Sirk]

Where can I find a support group?

Are you in the Chicago area? Try Willow Creek.

 

[Joidevivre]

Please I don't mean to sound judgmental about this sort of thing, but the one thing we all need to recognize is not to put our dependency upon any "group" of people, even those as part of a church. We can only look to Jesus for our comfort, our defense and our healing. If our thoughts are only upon His promises, and His presence with us, we will find that He will move the right person into our lives to be His listening ear or His voice of love to us.

Getting into the habit of thanking Him for being there in the way we need Him to be for us everyday before the day even begins will take our eyes off of expectations from people. He will never never fail us.

 

[JFSurvivor]

Are you in the Chicago area? Try Willow Creek.

Funny you should mention that...that was one of the churches that made me feel so bad.

 

[Sirk]

Really? I'm surprised. Do you know who Mindy Caliguire is? Look her up on line. She has a ministry called soul care.

*fixed misspelled last name

 

[JFSurvivor]

I saw it...still not too sure what this woman is about

 

[JFSurvivor]

Really? I'm surprised. Do you know who Mindy Caliguire is? Look her up on line. She has a ministry called soul care.

*fixed misspelled last name

I think I understand now. I clicked around the website.

 

[Witness45]

I have had some bad experiences in the church...

I was going through a hard time and I needed support from the church and they weren't there for me.

Every time I bring this up I seem to get the same responses every time: "The church is made up of imperfect people." "Stop looking for the perfect church" Blah blah blah.

I am not looking for a perfect church. I am looking for a church where ya know...I feel loved. I feel like people come up with more excuses as to why the church is the way it is and reasons as to why I'm wrong or I'm not spiritual enough. I just want to be loved. Is that really too much to ask?

Also here is a question for you: Have you ever been hurt by the church? If so how and what did you do to get over it?

I know exactly what you're talking about, and have been hurt more times then I care to elaborate (the biggest of which was pretty recently). You're not wrong or less spiritual, the church does need to be more loving. However the one thing that needs to be understood is that the true church is the body of Christ, the body of true believers. The church is not the building, it is the body, and the true church will love you.

I'll simply end this in saying, though there is absolutely nothing wrong in seeking love from people (especially the church), the ultimate source of love that we should seek is not people but God. And he will never stop loving you.

Peace, and God bless...

 

[Witness45]

So a little bit about me: I have PTSD. I was not in the military. I was sexually assaulted and I went to the church for help and instead of feeling loved I felt blamed and rejected. This not only happened at one church but 3.

Wow, I'm livin' the same story...

 

[JFSurvivor]

I know exactly what you're talking about, and have been hurt more times then I care to elaborate (the biggest of which was pretty recently). You're not wrong or less spiritual, the church does need to be more loving. However the one thing that needs to be understood is that the true church is the body of Christ, the body of true believers. The church is not the building, it is the body, and the true church will love you.

I'll simply end this in saying, though there is absolutely nothing wrong in seeking love from people (especially the church), the ultimate source of love that we should seek is not people but God. And he will never stop loving you.

Peace, and God bless...

Thank you so much.

In all honesty because of everything that has happened my relationship with God has suffered and that scares me. :-(

 

[JFSurvivor]

Wow, I'm livin' the same story...

I'm so sorry to hear that :-(

 

[Witness45]

Thank you so much.

In all honesty because of everything that has happened my relationship with God has suffered and that scares me. :-(

That's typical, and it's also why Jesus took the Religious hypocrites of his day so seriously. He rebuked them in more ways and in the harshest ways because of that very reason. Please know that God's true children, though not perfect, would never harm you in such a way to interfere with your relationship with him. Just remember, Religious hypocrites do not reflect the true God, despite what they claim...

I'll certainly pray for you...