Committing to someone you have never met?

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jacksonjp

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Some of my friends have been in exclusive relationships with people they have "met" online. They "commit" to each other before meeting. They view themselves as a couple in an exclusive, committed relationship, even if they have not met in real life.

Are my friends out of their minds? I think they are nuts "committing" to someone they haven't spent time with in person.

Do they do this out of loneliness? Is this how people date and commit in the 21st century? Am I old fashioned?
 
They're not out of their minds...they're just lonely. They long to have that sense of having that special someone, and they find someone else like that via the internet. In their minds either they feel that no one they know in person would commit to them...or they are too emotionally insecure to commit to someone they've met. Or maybe they really just aren't interested in anyone that actually know...but can you really know someone that you've only communicated with online?

I don't find it likely that something like this would work out, but it certainly has before in many cases. I personally think that if God has someone for you, it will be someone who lives near you. That only makes sense.

Apparently, 1 in 5 married couples nowadays met online. Most of those are probably people in the same area who met via a dating website or something, but probably some of them met online long-distance and did what you're describing.
 
Well I Actually would disagree there, think about it. Getting to know somebody with the physical apeal is actually a pretty good foundational stone. Cause you'll connect and know the person not through physical aapeal but through being attracted to the person mentally creates a beautiful bond. (Thats my thought though)
 
DavEtheBravE said:
Well I Actually would disagree there, think about it. Getting to know somebody with the physical apeal is actually a pretty good foundational stone. Cause you'll connect and know the person not through physical aapeal but through being attracted to the person mentally creates a beautiful bond. (Thats my thought though)
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I used to think like this too but, people can make up their personality too. But eventually down the road they cannot keep up a facade forever.

Its easy to seem interesting on the Internet. "I'm a french Model." "I'm an ex Navy Seal." "I'm an ENTP." "I'm a Missionary."

I think that its important to spend a lot of time with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

TRUST ME.
 
Liamson said:
I used to think like this too but, people can make up their personality too. But eventually down the road they cannot keep up a facade forever.

Its easy to seem interesting on the Internet. "I'm a french Model." "I'm an ex Navy Seal." "I'm an ENTP." "I'm a Missionary."

I think that its important to spend a lot of time with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

TRUST ME.
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haha did you get the French model one from the State Farm commercial? :p (if you don't know what I'm referring to then I'll give y'all the link.)
 
Hmm Thats true but there are real people out there, I think you"ll have to really pray and ask for the lords guidance but thanks for the input
 
I think this is entirely normal. If you are considering someone for marriage you don't want them considering another person at the same time. No different from dating in real life really - you agree to consider each other exclusively until one breaks it off.
 
Stuey said:
I think this is entirely normal. If you are considering someone for marriage you don't want them considering another person at the same time. No different from dating in real life really - you agree to consider each other exclusively until one breaks it off.
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I agree with your PRACTICAL approach since ... distance and arranged marriage is common in the bible... thus should not be entirely disregarded as an unacceptable modern practice. That said... I also believe there are some very good reasons to approach such a scenario with caution, a guarded heart, eyes WIDE OPEN, enlisting the wise counsel of others and being reasonably public and accountable about the endeavor. I think it's the" lone ranger in secret" approach to this method most likely to end up in disaster.
 
ive been reborn 7 years and god is faithfull to his word in any thing we need and if you are truely useing his gift and power the holy spirit the word says book of john ch16 verse 13 howbiet when he the spirit of truth is come he will guide you into all truth for he shall not seak of himself but whatsoever he shear that shall he speak and he will shew you things to come for sure people should meet before they date
 
Liamson said:
Its easy to seem interesting on the Internet. "I'm a french Model." "I'm an ex Navy Seal." "I'm an ENTP." "I'm a Missionary."
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:eek: I am an ENTP and (was) a missionary. I promise! Though I am definitely no French Model, I speak French! :D

I agree it is possible to ''commit'' to someone online. You both agree that you will not play the field while you are seeing each other. Though I can't see how you can do that unless you've met. People are very different in person than online. We all put our best foot forward.
 
Yeah, I'm pretty boring and shy offline. My life is my kids and ministry soooo that doesn't leave room for much entertaining of friends. lol I try though.
 
I don't think it's all that weird to mutually agree not to date other people if you meet someone you really feel close to and distance is your only issue. I have never dated more than one guy at a time and don't want to waste my time dating anyone I'm not genuinely interested in getting to know better anyway.

And I look taller in real life :D
 
Bridget_Left_China said:
:eek: I am an ENTP and (was) a missionary. I promise! Though I am definitely no French Model, I speak French! :D

I agree it is possible to ''commit'' to someone online. You both agree that you will not play the field while you are seeing each other. Though I can't see how you can do that unless you've met. People are very different in person than online. We all put our best foot forward.
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I think it is possible to meet someone you can actually click with online, and have a relationship like normal relationship minus meeting in person, with all the real gifts, real voice, real laugh, real fights too.. haha.. I've done it :p
not as good as the conventional way, but it is very possible. they have to meet up in person at some point though...
 
I agree with your friends , one can commit without having met.
Surely one can establish a deep relationship without the "meat" having met.

Many cultures do not date in the meat at all.
They hold conversations and socialise in acceptable to them manner and it is all monitored.
They become engaged and first when they are engaged is when they see eachothers eyes.

They do no sleep together untill they married.

They get to know eachother without the lust and meat but develop a respect and get to know eachother and values and what want and friendship, sence of humour etc.

Maybe they talk everyday using different devices or internet.
 
jacksonjp said:
Some of my friends have been in exclusive relationships with people they have "met" online. They "commit" to each other before meeting. They view themselves as a couple in an exclusive, committed relationship, even if they have not met in real life.

Are my friends out of their minds? I think they are nuts "committing" to someone they haven't spent time with in person.

Do they do this out of loneliness? Is this how people date and commit in the 21st century? Am I old fashioned?
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if I met a guy on the Internet, and I liked him I would want to start talking to him on the phone. you cannot truly tell how a person is just through typing, you can't even really tell through talking on the phone but that's better than just typing.
with all that being said if I liked him and he liked me and we've been talking consistently I would be offended if he started dating other girls. it's not like you're asking someone to commit their life to you, your just asking if they will commit a period Of time to see if things work out between the 2 of you. however I believe that you should plan on meeting each other in that period Of time obviously. no way would I even consider getting serious with a guy if he was dating a bunch of other girls while we were talking, and knowing we both like each other.
 
Nice to see each other b4 one engages to marriage perhaps.
Know each others eyes and so forth.
One might have like a spiritual relationship despite bodies not being together.
Like a united body even untill ones bodies join to meet and be together in person aswell.
The cam chatt is nice also perhaps.
Maybe one has made plans for the meat to join and meet in a couple months and is socialising in other ways.


lol, skype calls can be wonderful.
How happy one can feel to chatt with someone , hear them laugh, see smile or even frown, drink a coffee, eat with , talk.........
 
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