confession

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alonndraaa

Junior Member
Jun 5, 2017
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i don't know if i'm doing this right, but i guess i'll never know unless i try.

for over a year now i had been addicted to porn. and only being 15, i feel very embarrassed and ashamed of myself for doing it. and i know it's pretty common now a days, but that doesn't make it okay.

i knew for a while that what i was doing and looking at was absolutely not okay, but i kept coming back to it. ever since being here this is somewhat helped me with the temptation of looking at porn. as i was looking around on CC, i read a post about porn and had read that if you ever feel the temptation to do it, just to come on here. and i had been doing that, although, if i'm being completely honest, i had done it maybe twice since first signing up on CC. whenever i feel the need, i come on here or i find something to distract me so i don't think about it.

tonight, i was at youth which i go to weekly at my church that i attend, and the serious time session that we have, was about porn. i had this feeling knowing that it was going to some how related to sexual sin. when he started his testimony, i realized that what he went through, is basically what i'm going through now. only my addiction for porn was stronger.

this testimony that he shard with the youth group tonight was a wake up call, a message that i needed to hear, a message from God telling me that there is a way out.

he told us that the best way to get out of this, was to tell someone you really really trust. and i guess that's why i'm telling it here. i'm too embarrassed and ashamed of myself for being addicted to porn even though i grew up in a christian home and going to i church basically every Sunday. im scared to tell one of my closest friend thinking that they'll judge me and treat me differently, or worse, tell others about it. i thought maybe if i said it here first, i could gain some more confidence and have the guts to tell the person i trust most, knowing that God has put me in this situation for a reason i have yet to figure out. it's a test from God that i need to pass.

i hope with sharing this on here, i will feel better and find the strength to tell someone about my addiction and be able to overcome it & become stronger in my faith.
 
Hey there. First, I want to commend your courage, for coming and admitting your addiction. that is never, ever easey. I have tasted the fruit of addiction, not to porn, but in other areas, and I know how strong that it can be, like a master demanding more from you than you want to give, and keeping you longer than you want to stay. However, I also that there is a God, who if you ask him he will give you a desire for him, that will over power your addiction.
My advice is three fold. first, find someone you trust, and confess it to them. you can not do this alone, and anything that tries to convince you you can, is a lie from the pit of hell. Ask them to be your accountability partner, and walk with you through this.
Next do not let fear of their reaction discourage you from speaking out. If they love you, they will walk with you through it.
Next, find an on line accountability there is softwhere that will track what you are looking at, and share your record with who ever you designate. perhaps your youth pastor, or your parents, or your friend. but you have to be accounatable.
Third, press in to God like you never have before. remember, Christ died for your sin, he knew you would be hooked on this addiction, but he took the shame of the cross, and the lashes of the romans, so that you could be free of it.
I am reminded of this verse. when the woman was caught in the act of adultery, and the religious leaders were like Hey, the law says we should stone her, but what do you say? his answer, first to them, let he who has no Sin cast the first stone, and second, to the woman, who was probly freaked out, he said where are those who acuse you? if they don't acuse you, neither do I, go and Sin no more.
I'll close and apologise for being so long winded, by saying this.
God loves you, he loves you inspite of your sin, and addiction, and he will get you out of this, but you have to let him in to that place, no matter how hard, and no matter how scarry doing that may be.
I hope this helps,
In Christ,
Tstrange out.
 
Alonndraaa,God has put curiosity
in all people even in animals.The old saying "curiosity killed the cat" has trapped many an animal.BUT you ae a child of God.There is a way out Jesus promised it! And you took the first step,confession.( Confess your falts-sins-to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed), I am praying for you ! Jesus you mist ask for
strength from.You can't do this without him.He said the light of the body is the eye.If it's evil your whole body will be
full of darkness( includind your desires) but if single towards God it will be full of Light!Reading your bible aloud to yourself will get your rudder(James says your tongue is a rudder) in the right dirrection toward
Light.Read the Gospel of John and you will begin to be washed by Jesus's Word.Better to destroy the computer than loose your whole life
to porn but delete all roads to porn
and draw near God in prayer He will help,but don't meddle once he has delivered you.Love in Christ Jesus
andShalome(Peace,completeness)
Remember I'm praying for you! Yoseph
 
Hey Alondra
I, also grew up in a Christian home. But at 13 i was first exposed to porn and developed an addiction. This was before the internet.
It's a pretty common problem, not only among teens, but in the church itself. So you aren't a freak or anything, but i do understand the worry in telling anyone. Some people will be more understanding and supportive while others will judge you. But people who judge should not be important to you.
Who you heard is right, addiction of any kind is not something to be handled alone. View your addiction the same way you would view a person addicted to drugs, or alcohol. You, also, need to handle it in similar ways. This is not an issue of will power.

God did not put you in this situation, though. You put yourself in this situation. It was your choice to look once, to look twice, to go back over and over until addiction set in. God cannot, and should not, be held responsible for that. In my life i've realized most people that end up in bad situations put Themselves in them but then blame God when the consequences set in.

It reflects well on your heart to God that you desire to get past this, though, so don't let condemnation and guilt bring you down. Keep striving to get past this and follow God and He will recognize your intentions and efforts.
It takes time, so be patient.
You can try checking out XXXChurch.com They are a Christian ministry aimed at helping people with porn problems.

One last thing that may help is to realize that porn is directly related to sex trafficking. Rape, blackmail, drugging and coercion are common in making porn. Racism, drugs and violence are part of the standard in most porn. Check out a secular group called Fight The New Drug. They have many stories from former porn stars, directors, etc... that share the scary and evil details that goes behind making porn. Once you begin to realize that click is fueling all these things it gives a greater incentive to avoid it.
They also explain the way porn changes your brain as well as warps your perceptions of how to treat (or be treated by) the opposite sex.

Hope you're able to get the help you need.
 
One of the attractions of porn is that it temporarily appeases a need in our lives.

For instance, the attraction to big breasts can come from our infancy when our basic needs for tenderness, love, and nurturance were not met. Babies whose most important needs were not met can grow up seeking to fulfill those needs by looking at and being attracted to big breasts.

There are other needs that porn pretends to meet but can never fulfill, for instance acceptance just as you are, or for affection and intimacy. When one is lacking these in ones life, one is driven to appease them dishonestly. That need is what powers the addiction.

To overcome the addiction it is best to find healthy ways to meet those underlying needs.

The God given need that initially drives most addiction behaviors is for healthy affirming intimate relationships.

God created us with these needs. That is why God said it is not good for man to be alone.

He designed us with this hole in our heart that can only be met through healthy intimate relationships.
These needs for acceptance, belonging, and intimacy should first be met in ones family as they are growing up. Then as one develops, the need is to be met through ones spouse (of the opposite sex). It is not uncommon for these needs to not be met by ones family or spouse. In these cases God can provide other ways of meeting these fundamental needs He created in us.

God has given you the wisdom to know that porn is a destructive way to try to appease these needs. May He also give you the wisdom to understand and meet your needs in life affirming wholesome God honoring activities.

What you are experiencing is common to mankind. You have demonstrated wisdom and courage in sharing your needs on CC.

I pray God will work miracles in your life (and in all of those who read this) and guide you to people who will help you met these God given needs in ways that draw you closer to Him, and not in ways that interfere with or distract you from your relationship with Him.
 
Hi alonndraaa,

The Person I do go to that I trust completely is Jesus Christ and because He is in me and is with me always, He can help me walk me through this valley of death as my Good Shepherd, leading me away from temptation and delivering me from the evil one.

I had been under my commitment to follow Christ doing the best I can in following Him. It wasn't until I made a covenant with my mouth not to cuss any more and I was worse than I ever was before the next day, the Lord taught me that the reason He was not helping me to keep my covenant with my mouth because I told Him I was going to do it when I made that covenant. He taught me that He made THE Covenant and that He was going to do it. All He had asked of me was to believe in Him. And so He set me free from that covenant with my mouth not to cuss and eventually set me free from keeping my commitment to follow Him to rest in Him as my Good Shepherd that He will help me to follow Him.

He lets me know when I am sowing to the flesh to get rid of it or walk away or think on good things, as well as get rid of any provision for the flesh that fulfills the lust thereof.

Lust is not love; it can never be love when it is selfish and seeks its own gain. Our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit and so what we sow towards the flesh in, we are defiling the temple of God, and are at risk of reaping corruption, and thus being brought into bondage. Even the pride of life is of the world, and society raised us to look on the outward appearance and sex appeal as the level of acceptance in society, tempting us all for that level of acceptance from others as well as TO others, but the love of the Father is not in them. My need of Jesus to wake up to this, as well as counting on Him all the time to walk me thru this valley of death as He is with me always is the only hope you & I have in overcoming the things of this world.

1 John 2:[SUP]15 [/SUP]Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him.[SUP]16 [/SUP]For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world.[SUP]17 [/SUP]And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.

So may these scripture help you to believe in Him & His promises to you that He will help you overcome and walk in the light with the Father & the Son in fellowship with Him all the time.

1 John 3:[SUP]3 [/SUP]And every man that hath this hope in him purifieth himself, even as he is pure....[SUP]8 [/SUP]He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil.

Philippians 1:[SUP]6 [/SUP]Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:....[SUP]11 [/SUP]Being filled with the fruits of righteousness, which are by Jesus Christ, unto the glory and praise of God.

2 Timothy 4:[SUP]18 [/SUP]And the Lord shall deliver me from every evil work, and will preserve me unto his heavenly kingdom: to whom be glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Romans 13:[SUP]13 [/SUP]Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.[SUP]14 [/SUP]But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

1 Corinthians 10:[SUP]12 [/SUP]Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall.[SUP]13 [/SUP]There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.

Jude 1:[SUP]24 [/SUP]Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy,[SUP]25 [/SUP]To the only wise God our Saviour, be glory and majesty, dominion and power, both now and ever. Amen.

1 Timothy 6:[SUP]6 [/SUP]But godliness with contentment is great gain.

Philippians 4:[SUP]6 [/SUP]Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.[SUP]7 [/SUP]And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.[SUP]8 [/SUP]Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.[SUP]9 [/SUP]Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.

[video=youtube;_rR_Rdb1CTE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rR_Rdb1CTE[/video]
 
Praying and warring for you alonndraa!
You are not alone,Christ will be glorified in you!!Shalom,Jesus will never leave nor forsake you♡