P
Peter96
Guest
Hello reader, and Jeff, if you're reading this (haha). I don't want to call you back to read this post so I'll just wait until you pop by whenever, hopefully before I take this blog down.
I wanted to talk about evangelism. It was an activity that I was heavily involved in during the time I was in church. I did not want people to go to hell so I would try ways and means to get people to listen about Jesus. Except... it wasn't so much about telling people about Jesus as it was telling people how 'awesome' and 'cool' the church and christians are, and although I did warn people because I did not want them to go to hell, I also evangelised for selfish reasons. As ridiculous as it may sound, I wanted to build a christian empire wherever I went. I thought it would be heaven on earth if everyone went around talking about Jesus and sang worship music and was thankful and strived to please God in whatever they did. Which, is true, it would be heaven on earth, except, it wouldn't be if everyone did things the way the church does it. There wouldn't be much difference and it would only be a matter of time before people got frustrated with how fake things were and leave the church. That's how culture has evolved over the past centuries and decades actually if you think about it.
Being the shy boy that I was, I really, really did not want to speak to people directly. I found it much easier to talk to people online about the church and what it believed in. I managed to convince many people to come to church but many of them would just visit once, or a couple of times and then leave. It was really a salvage job from the get go. My idea was to get people to come to church and stay in there long enough to hear the messages that I did not want to tell them about, namely, salvation, repentance and the afterlife. The church, however, was a lot more interested in telling us about how christians can celebrate chinese new year (which I do not believe they should) or how 'god' wanted to bless us with good grades and material wealth. Still I waited. I thought my efforts would bear fruit eventually but looking back it was all in vain really because I never told my friends the truth upfront. I always did it in a wishy-washy manner. There were a couple of friends that I did get into arguments about religion and I did manage to get my point across but for the most part I did represent a very distorted image of not just who the true God is but also the 'god' that I had in my own mind.
Dysphoric, is how I would describe my life at that point, and in more ways than one too. On one hand I was listening to hellfire and brimstone preachers like Paul Washer and Tim Conway on youtube telling me that I need to repent or face fiery judgement, and on the other hand the church was telling me that I was already 'saved' (which I tried to convince myself over and over but never ever felt secure). I was also, I presume, the a boy with a squeaky clean image. I did well in school and I was active in co-curricular AND church activities. I was quiet and 'nice' (though I did, and still do, behave in an icy manner at times) but inside I was dealing with homosexuality, pornography, unforgiveness, bitterness and hatred. I have to mention too, that preaching the gospel is one of the commandments in the Bible, so it is a requirement from God. I was trying to fulfill that commandment to save my own soul really instead of genuinely, whole-heartedly caring for the souls of others. I knew at the back of my mind that that was my real motive for being so insistent on sharing the 'word' but really I did not know what else to do then.
Imagine my relief when I found out that there were organisations that I could work with that would organise events and gatherings where I could partner up with other people to invite people to join christianity. I was so desperate for help in that area that the moment this particular organisation was introduced to me I reached out and grabbed onto it with all my might. We would organise games or events and try to link anything under the sun, from sports to cars to music, to the religion that we were trying to pander. Looking back now, I realise that it was nothing more than a marketing tactic. There were even times where we would outright con people to come to these events by presenting it as all fun and games and THEN at the end of it all ambush them with a christian message. It's just not right. The person that we were supposedly representing was God Almighty, and we presented Him as someone who was sly and sneaky instead of bold and upfront basically. Because we were so used to trying to integrate everything under the sun into our religion it was easy then to justify still celebrating christmas and easter after they were holidays that have already been proven to be pagan. But that's a topic for another day.
Fast forward to just a few months ago after I had watched the video that I mentioned in the previous blog post. Right up till that point I had been so demoralised by the constant rejection that I faced from evangelism coupled with the intense high school schedule. I had been binging on food and children sitcoms as a form of escapism and although I knew that TV programs aren't innocent at all I chose to discard all my convictions out the window simply because I was sick of trying so hard to be good and not seeing results.
The video was a big wake-up call for me, to say the least, even though I've sadly fallen back to sleep once more. I added the woman on facebook and a few others and began to repost the things that they were saying because once more I felt the severity and urgency and just wanted people to listen to the message. Unfortunately I was not listening to the advice that I was giving out, or at least I did try to for awhile really seriously and gave up when the going got tough. I was also super disappointed in the church when I found out what it was really all about and honestly very angry and bitter once again so I was actually lashing out at them instead of trying to tell them the truth in love. I'm pretty sure that it has been made clear to me to just lay low for awhile until I've gotten things sorted out and then tell people about the things that I, personally, have done to get right with God. Even though I've been quiet all my life, keeping my mouth shut has never really been my strong suit, or in this case keeping my hands away from the keyboard.
That's all for now. See you in the next post, maybe.
I wanted to talk about evangelism. It was an activity that I was heavily involved in during the time I was in church. I did not want people to go to hell so I would try ways and means to get people to listen about Jesus. Except... it wasn't so much about telling people about Jesus as it was telling people how 'awesome' and 'cool' the church and christians are, and although I did warn people because I did not want them to go to hell, I also evangelised for selfish reasons. As ridiculous as it may sound, I wanted to build a christian empire wherever I went. I thought it would be heaven on earth if everyone went around talking about Jesus and sang worship music and was thankful and strived to please God in whatever they did. Which, is true, it would be heaven on earth, except, it wouldn't be if everyone did things the way the church does it. There wouldn't be much difference and it would only be a matter of time before people got frustrated with how fake things were and leave the church. That's how culture has evolved over the past centuries and decades actually if you think about it.
Being the shy boy that I was, I really, really did not want to speak to people directly. I found it much easier to talk to people online about the church and what it believed in. I managed to convince many people to come to church but many of them would just visit once, or a couple of times and then leave. It was really a salvage job from the get go. My idea was to get people to come to church and stay in there long enough to hear the messages that I did not want to tell them about, namely, salvation, repentance and the afterlife. The church, however, was a lot more interested in telling us about how christians can celebrate chinese new year (which I do not believe they should) or how 'god' wanted to bless us with good grades and material wealth. Still I waited. I thought my efforts would bear fruit eventually but looking back it was all in vain really because I never told my friends the truth upfront. I always did it in a wishy-washy manner. There were a couple of friends that I did get into arguments about religion and I did manage to get my point across but for the most part I did represent a very distorted image of not just who the true God is but also the 'god' that I had in my own mind.
Dysphoric, is how I would describe my life at that point, and in more ways than one too. On one hand I was listening to hellfire and brimstone preachers like Paul Washer and Tim Conway on youtube telling me that I need to repent or face fiery judgement, and on the other hand the church was telling me that I was already 'saved' (which I tried to convince myself over and over but never ever felt secure). I was also, I presume, the a boy with a squeaky clean image. I did well in school and I was active in co-curricular AND church activities. I was quiet and 'nice' (though I did, and still do, behave in an icy manner at times) but inside I was dealing with homosexuality, pornography, unforgiveness, bitterness and hatred. I have to mention too, that preaching the gospel is one of the commandments in the Bible, so it is a requirement from God. I was trying to fulfill that commandment to save my own soul really instead of genuinely, whole-heartedly caring for the souls of others. I knew at the back of my mind that that was my real motive for being so insistent on sharing the 'word' but really I did not know what else to do then.
Imagine my relief when I found out that there were organisations that I could work with that would organise events and gatherings where I could partner up with other people to invite people to join christianity. I was so desperate for help in that area that the moment this particular organisation was introduced to me I reached out and grabbed onto it with all my might. We would organise games or events and try to link anything under the sun, from sports to cars to music, to the religion that we were trying to pander. Looking back now, I realise that it was nothing more than a marketing tactic. There were even times where we would outright con people to come to these events by presenting it as all fun and games and THEN at the end of it all ambush them with a christian message. It's just not right. The person that we were supposedly representing was God Almighty, and we presented Him as someone who was sly and sneaky instead of bold and upfront basically. Because we were so used to trying to integrate everything under the sun into our religion it was easy then to justify still celebrating christmas and easter after they were holidays that have already been proven to be pagan. But that's a topic for another day.
Fast forward to just a few months ago after I had watched the video that I mentioned in the previous blog post. Right up till that point I had been so demoralised by the constant rejection that I faced from evangelism coupled with the intense high school schedule. I had been binging on food and children sitcoms as a form of escapism and although I knew that TV programs aren't innocent at all I chose to discard all my convictions out the window simply because I was sick of trying so hard to be good and not seeing results.
The video was a big wake-up call for me, to say the least, even though I've sadly fallen back to sleep once more. I added the woman on facebook and a few others and began to repost the things that they were saying because once more I felt the severity and urgency and just wanted people to listen to the message. Unfortunately I was not listening to the advice that I was giving out, or at least I did try to for awhile really seriously and gave up when the going got tough. I was also super disappointed in the church when I found out what it was really all about and honestly very angry and bitter once again so I was actually lashing out at them instead of trying to tell them the truth in love. I'm pretty sure that it has been made clear to me to just lay low for awhile until I've gotten things sorted out and then tell people about the things that I, personally, have done to get right with God. Even though I've been quiet all my life, keeping my mouth shut has never really been my strong suit, or in this case keeping my hands away from the keyboard.
That's all for now. See you in the next post, maybe.