Confidence and/or arrogance ./?

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J

Jullianna

Guest
#21
#21
Those are good :)

So, like the one I found, our faith-based confidence is to be in Christ alone and we basically aren't supposed to brag (commend ourselves). Is having confidence the same as bragging? Seems like a braggart would fall into the arrogant category, wouldn't it?

Can anyone find scriptures relating to man/woman confidence rather than the confidence we are to have in Christ?

If confidence is a gift from God, I can't imagine it being fake. The gifts that God gives even to unbelievers are real, aren't they?

As this point it almost seems more like a personality trait, like boldness, or being bubbly, or quiet-natured...hmmm...still pondering :)
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#22
#22
Maybe the bottom line is that we all like what we like and are attracted to certain things and not others. To some people looks are extremely important, but not scripturally so. Maybe the manly confidence (which to me is more a male leadership quality than anything else) some of us like is just that...something we like. After thinking about it a lot today I can't fathom being with any guy who didn't have it. I don't wanna be the boss. :)

It's been a cool thing to ponder though. Great thread, niceguyj! :)
 
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zeroturbulence

zeroturbulence

Senior Member
#23
Aug 2, 2009
24,581
4,269
113
#23
You know how they call Robin the Boy Wonder? Well, you're the Girl Ponder. :p :D
 
H

hislastwalk

Guest
#24
#24
Be so confident (in Christ) that religous people think you're arrogant. God wants us to be confident.
 
H

hislastwalk

Guest
#25
#25
Although my post had nothing to do with relationships...lol
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#26
#26
zeroturbulence said:
You know how they call Robin the Boy Wonder? Well, you're the Girl Ponder. :p :D
Click to expand...

LOL! I know, right??! I seriously overthink things, don't I? :D I guess I just don't want to live my life with a technician mentality, you know? I want to understand why I do a thing or think a thing, and whether it's something I need to change. Many times I find that I DO need to make changes,so I guess it's not for nuttin'. :)
 
R

rainacorn

Guest
#27
#27
When I was younger, I went through a phase where I was attracted to guys who lacked confidence.

Upon later reflection, I think my intent was to create a man that would never leave me because his ego was dependent on our continuing relationship. Find someone who is broken. Fix them. Then they're mine forever.

That's how low MY confidence was.

Those relationships never worked out. While I was going through a temporary crisis of confidence, they usually seemed to be rather content in their endless pity parties. I would pull out of my slump and they refused to come with me.
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#28
#28
Wow, rainacorn :(

Relationships are not supposed to be like that, are they?
 
R

rainacorn

Guest
#29
#29
Jullianna said:
Wow, rainacorn :(

Relationships are not supposed to be like that, are they?
Click to expand...
NO!!!!

When I saw the pattern in my own behavior and decisions I knew I had to make a change. I was young and inexperienced with relationships and my #1 concern was 'someone who will stick around.' I'm a product of divorce, so it's not terribly surprising, but it IS destructive.

I bring this up because I see other people fall into similar patterns. A major lack in confidence should be a red flag, either in yourself or someone else.
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#30
#30
This is a good topic, so many times I see people saying faking to be something they're not so people think they are confident or interesting. The way I see it, you can be shy and confident, being confident doesn't mean that you have to be a loud person or someone who is always the center of attention.

Almost all the apostles and disciplies were confident in some ways, well at least the ones who were godly examples. Paul wasn't a great speaker but he had enough confidence (rooted in Christ) to do his work and preach the gospel by any means. Peter wasn't the brighest crayon in the box, but he was confident enough to stand up for righteousness, not to mention Stephen, among others.

I like real confidence, but not the kind of confidence when one forgets where that confidence came from for starters, not the kind of confidence were being rude is permitted because ''that's just the way I am ''. The fact that the world sees arrogance as confidence has made the separating line blurry.
 
LightningClap0002

LightningClap0002

Senior Member
#31
Feb 10, 2008
3,371
16
38
#31
There was a time where I was certainly struggling with confidence. I gained a great amount of confidence through athletics in high school and early in college. Through high school, I was also very active in church.

I was hospitalized for a few months and afterwards forbidden from playing the sports I had loved. One day I realized that a lot of my personal self-worth had come from that ability. One day I realized that this was the case, that I had lost much of my confidence along with that ability. I realized, though, that the root of my confidence shouldn't be in something so worldly. Ever since, I have been working to rebuild my confidence through God.

I think without a doubt that confidence can come from many different sources. In the end, the source of someone's confidence is probably just as meaningful as the presence of it. A man who is confident because he's slept with many women... A man who is confident because he has lots of money... A man who's confident because he's physically fit... Not really things that inspire lasting confidence, and definitely things that can easily pass. What do you end up with then?
 
K

kayem77

Guest
#32
#32
LightningClap0002 said:
There was a time where I was certainly struggling with confidence. I gained a great amount of confidence through athletics in high school and early in college. Through high school, I was also very active in church.

I was hospitalized for a few months and afterwards forbidden from playing the sports I had loved. One day I realized that a lot of my personal self-worth had come from that ability. One day I realized that this was the case, that I had lost much of my confidence along with that ability. I realized, though, that the root of my confidence shouldn't be in something so worldly. Ever since, I have been working to rebuild my confidence through God.

I think without a doubt that confidence can come from many different sources. In the end, the source of someone's confidence is probably just as meaningful as the presence of it. A man who is confident because he's slept with many women... A man who is confident because he has lots of money... A man who's confident because he's physically fit... Not really things that inspire lasting confidence, and definitely things that can easily pass. What do you end up with then?
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Totally agree!
 
J

Jullianna

Guest
#33
#33
kayem77 said:
This is a good topic, so many times I see people saying faking to be something they're not so people think they are confident or interesting. The way I see it, you can be shy and confident, being confident doesn't mean that you have to be a loud person or someone who is always the center of attention.

Almost all the apostles and disciplies were confident in some ways, well at least the ones who were godly examples. Paul wasn't a great speaker but he had enough confidence (rooted in Christ) to do his work and preach the gospel by any means. Peter wasn't the brighest crayon in the box, but he was confident enough to stand up for righteousness, not to mention Stephen, among others.

I like real confidence, but not the kind of confidence when one forgets where that confidence came from for starters, not the kind of confidence were being rude is permitted because ''that's just the way I am ''. The fact that the world sees arrogance as confidence has made the separating line blurry.
Click to expand...
I totally agree on crossing the line from being confident to being rude and arrogant! I do NOT like that at all! One guy in particular was incredibly rude to other people when I went to a party with him and I was very embarrassed by his behavior! :mad: I couldn't wait to get home! He was very sweet to ME, but wow...I could easily see that changing down the road. I can also see guys like that becoming abusive.

There has been a guy who, for the past several weeks, has been extremely possessive and aggressive in an arrogant way to the point I felt like I was suffocating. Gabe has observed this (not on CC) and was actually very helpful in giving the guy some hints to back off. I really appreciate you doing that too, Gabe :)

There are definitely limits and those who cross the line!
 
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