Confused what do you think I should?

[Promise2]

So I've been living with someone for approximately 4 years we have a 2 and 1/2 child together. I have been debating for quite some time about getting married (he wants to) but have been held back do to the fact that he is a drug addict. At this stage he has been clean for a couple of months and although during the times he is in his addiction I don't give him access to his son without supervision it makes it quite hard for me since I do love him so much. As a clean and in control person he is very kind and talks to our son about Jesus and seems to truly believe in him. I guess the question I'm trying to put out there is that I feel guilty about not choosing to marry him at this point I know I am living in sin but I don't want to marry someone who could possibly go back on a drug binge any day or should I just trust in Jesus and do it as soon as possible so I'm not living in sin anymore?

 

[faithisthyvictory]

God is all able to change a person, only trust Him to totally change your partner. And always continue to pray for your him. God hears and He'll surely hear and answer your prayer in His own time.

 

[cinder]

You've been living together for 4 years. In any sort of emotional and practical sense you are as good as married and if you have to break it off it will hurt just as much as divorcing. The only major difference I see getting married making is that it would make it more difficult for you to leave legally. Are you going to leave him if he goes back to drugs? How long will he have to be clean for before you think he's beat his addiction? How long are you willing to stay in this no-man's land of I'm with him because I love him, but I won't marry him because of his addiction?

I agree you should stop sinning, the only way to do that is to stop having intimate relations with him until / unless you marry him. There is no easy way out at this point. And getting married isn't going to magically make those feelings of guilt go away. You've done wrong. And until you repent and receive forgiveness from God for the wrong you've done you'll struggle with guilt. That's not saying don't get married; that's just saying that doing right from now on won't erase the fact that you've done wrong or the guilt that comes with it.

By the way, this is usually the kind of thing people usually post in the forums and you might get more replies there than in a blog.

 

[Guest]

I think you should pray for yourself before you even pray for him. Are you willing to deal with this kind of thing for the rest of your life? Drugs don't go away without a fight. Relapses are quite common even years or decades later. This will be a battle he will have to choose to win every day. If you choose to stay in his life and marry him, your heart will need to change as much, if not even more than his. He will need the encouragement and support in this battle. As his wife you will be the person tied to him who has the most impact on him, the person who would be the best one to lead him back to the father. Is this a life you are willing to live? Is this the life you would like your child to live. At this point it isn't about love... it's about how much you are willing to sacrifice of yourself for this. Going into this praying he'll change will lead you to disappointment. Pray that you'll change first, because if you don't change your hearts approach on this, how can you expect him to? I'll be praying for you and your sweet child hun. Pray about every decision you make here. Don't let it be about feelings. You are going to have to seek God's will in this and submit to it. I say this knowing in my heart it is not an easy thing to do, but you aren't alone in this. God was never surprised when you came to this cross roads. He's got a plan for you and your family and he's holding onto it just for you. The hardest struggles in our lives tend to be the one's that give God all the glory.