V
Viva_baby05
Guest
Soooo I need advice. My husband and I have been together for 5 years but married for 1.5 years. We have a beautiful 3 year old daughter.
2 weeks before We were to say our vows he told me he wasn't going to marry me. Most humiliating thing ever! We split up. For an entire month. During that time I started 'talking' to another guy. Nothing more nothing less than friends.
My husband begged me back for a solid week. All day everyday. (we already had a huge past) Finally just asked if he could come hang out at OUR house as friends, watch our shows and not talk about us. Well I informed him I was not going to let him back in my life if we weren't married. He said he'd marry me in a heartbeat. He came over, we planned a trip to Vegas and within a week we were married.
Well about 6 months into it, his normal unattentive, careless self kicked back in so I had started texting and talking to my old friend. Eventually I created this emotional relationship with the guy.
He found out about all the secrets, We decided to work through it. We were stronger than before all that, for 3 weeks until he went out of town for wk. moved 5 hours away from his wife and daughter.... In that same town lived a girl HE had an emotional relationship with before we ever got married. He would try to tell me over and over they were nothing more than friends.... Blah blah blah! I guess he was there about two months and then called and asked for a divorce. I tried to talk him out of it, over and over and over again, I drove the 5 hours away with our daughter in hand and tried to talked to him... He just couldn't get over what I had done. Little did I know he was using the girl for all his emotions. He wasn't budging w his decision. So I left him with a good Godly message and came home. Nothing changed with him so I filed for divorce. We agreed on everything. I found a man that was strong in his faith & treated me like a princess. He ended up sleeping w that girl. I was not intimate w my bf... Yet! He decided he wanted his family back and I stood my ground. He's left me so many times....
He came home in Jan and stayed at our house, and I realized I was losing my daughters other half, sacrificing her childhood for my feelings. I was loosing my best friend. I was doing exactly what I said I'd never do, get a divorce. My childhood was full of that sort of conflict and now I face trials because of that. Well during that visit home, little did I know my husband had hired a lawyer to take my daughter from me because he didnt like the way I was raising her. He didn't want me back, he wanted nothing to do with me. I wasn't a bad mom, I just wasn't the blossoming mommy I once was when my life was under control.
He had ended up skipping states, for work. 28 days on, 10 off. He came home every 28 days for 10! He made it clear there was no way we were working things out. He could never get over the feelings he had. So I continued my spiral downfall. Not as bad... It had slowed down. I went on a date w a guy I barely knew, but took the proper precautions I thought to do. Never had I ever really dated... He slipped something in my drink that took away my ability to move on. Y own... I didn't know this right away. I woke up at his house, drove to my moms (where my daughter was) but don't remember driving there, slept for a solid 24 hours and my mom & friend who's house I stopped at on the way home, informed me there was something mega going on... & there was.
So I find out that my husband wants my lifestyle to change or there's not a chance he's considering us. Rightfully so. I don't do anything. Don't date which he said I should still do, basically, bc he wasn't going to stop. I started going to church, i got saved. I now have the holy spirit. I feel it, and ive never felt it before this. He came home, it wasn't good enough because I had to tell him about the date from hell. He could see changes but that next month wasn't quite it either.... The next one, he actually let me go w him to hang w our friends. We did family stuff with the 3 of us as well as with each of our family... We started WORKING ON THINGS
The two months before when I decided I was going to DO this, I changed my cell number and blocked anyone that could be a hazard to my marriage. My friend that I talked to from the beginning, I cut him off completely. We still were JUST friends. I told him I wanted my marriage to work and I'd need to loose him and it was ok with him.
If I'm drinking, I don't make the best decisions. So i don't do it. My husband is 24 hours driving distance away from me. He will call maybe twice a day and he's usually busy or dosing off to sleep. I swallowed that.
He goes out to dinner w his co workers for 3 hours and refusing any contact with me during that IMPORTANT time. Last week he WAS texting me during, mad about having to stay in contact w me... Being hateful. I woke up w no further messages from him. So curious me, "if he's not talking to me, who IS he talking to" I checked his phone bill and SHE had wrote him, and he wrote he back then she wrote again twice. I called as soon as I found that out and he apologized for being so hateful... He admitted to talking to her and blamed it on the alcohol. We both have iphones so i requested a screenshot of the convo... He stopped talking to me for the entire day. I texted her and asked if shed please quit contacting him & she turned around and texted him anyways. A screen shot of what i had just wrote her.... Or thats what he said! I informed him we really shouldnt drink without each other bc of our poor decision making. I forgave him...
Last Saturday I had a wedding party with my gf. Talked to him at 5pm, and then he never called or texted or checked on me until he woke up at 8am the next morning and he had got wasted. 24 hours away from me.... Set really wrong with me. Getting ready for church on mothers day and THiS!
I've sent life changing scriptures to him. I've showed him how we are working and how we're about to not be. He informed me that all his emotions arent going to just go back, that he wants his family but he wint be putting in the 110% that I was going to have to settle with what I was getting from him or move on. I showed him how to be a man of god and how he isn't honoring me as his wife. (although that's not me being a submissive wife, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO) I sent him videos and everything he'd need to see he's going the wrong way. He told me that all this was the way I wanted him to live, and that there are a lot of walks with God. True. But My God, there is one. & it's HIS way or the wrong way....
I do not want to get a divorce because it's a sin. I am trying so hard to fight for this. Maybe its a trial sent by God. I want to be a woman of god, and to have everlasting life with him. I want to do all I do for My God! I want my husband to do it too. We both have messed up our marriage, I've been saved and I'm working on my life living by the book. He is a believer but he lacks knowledge and hes slapping it like a fly every time I try to give him knowledge.
He's abandoned our marriage at this point and in Gods eyes that's grounds for divorce....
He tried to ask me about my day today out of no where, trying to brush THIS under the rug like he did when he talked to the girl that he slept w while we were married... I simply asked, so that we could move on, if he'd try to care & if he please wouldn't do the things he knew bothered me out of honor. I never heard back from him & that was about 3pm.
Do I leave? Give up and let him fight on his own. Never do I know when he's just going to give up on me again... He says he's forgiven me but we could actually move on if he had....
Do I stay and no matter how exhausted, lonely, depressed, upset, angry, hurt, I get... I'm doing this for my family & obeying my God....
If you have the answer, PLEASE, tell me what it is. I need a direction to go in....
2 weeks before We were to say our vows he told me he wasn't going to marry me. Most humiliating thing ever! We split up. For an entire month. During that time I started 'talking' to another guy. Nothing more nothing less than friends.
My husband begged me back for a solid week. All day everyday. (we already had a huge past) Finally just asked if he could come hang out at OUR house as friends, watch our shows and not talk about us. Well I informed him I was not going to let him back in my life if we weren't married. He said he'd marry me in a heartbeat. He came over, we planned a trip to Vegas and within a week we were married.
Well about 6 months into it, his normal unattentive, careless self kicked back in so I had started texting and talking to my old friend. Eventually I created this emotional relationship with the guy.
He found out about all the secrets, We decided to work through it. We were stronger than before all that, for 3 weeks until he went out of town for wk. moved 5 hours away from his wife and daughter.... In that same town lived a girl HE had an emotional relationship with before we ever got married. He would try to tell me over and over they were nothing more than friends.... Blah blah blah! I guess he was there about two months and then called and asked for a divorce. I tried to talk him out of it, over and over and over again, I drove the 5 hours away with our daughter in hand and tried to talked to him... He just couldn't get over what I had done. Little did I know he was using the girl for all his emotions. He wasn't budging w his decision. So I left him with a good Godly message and came home. Nothing changed with him so I filed for divorce. We agreed on everything. I found a man that was strong in his faith & treated me like a princess. He ended up sleeping w that girl. I was not intimate w my bf... Yet! He decided he wanted his family back and I stood my ground. He's left me so many times....
He came home in Jan and stayed at our house, and I realized I was losing my daughters other half, sacrificing her childhood for my feelings. I was loosing my best friend. I was doing exactly what I said I'd never do, get a divorce. My childhood was full of that sort of conflict and now I face trials because of that. Well during that visit home, little did I know my husband had hired a lawyer to take my daughter from me because he didnt like the way I was raising her. He didn't want me back, he wanted nothing to do with me. I wasn't a bad mom, I just wasn't the blossoming mommy I once was when my life was under control.
He had ended up skipping states, for work. 28 days on, 10 off. He came home every 28 days for 10! He made it clear there was no way we were working things out. He could never get over the feelings he had. So I continued my spiral downfall. Not as bad... It had slowed down. I went on a date w a guy I barely knew, but took the proper precautions I thought to do. Never had I ever really dated... He slipped something in my drink that took away my ability to move on. Y own... I didn't know this right away. I woke up at his house, drove to my moms (where my daughter was) but don't remember driving there, slept for a solid 24 hours and my mom & friend who's house I stopped at on the way home, informed me there was something mega going on... & there was.
So I find out that my husband wants my lifestyle to change or there's not a chance he's considering us. Rightfully so. I don't do anything. Don't date which he said I should still do, basically, bc he wasn't going to stop. I started going to church, i got saved. I now have the holy spirit. I feel it, and ive never felt it before this. He came home, it wasn't good enough because I had to tell him about the date from hell. He could see changes but that next month wasn't quite it either.... The next one, he actually let me go w him to hang w our friends. We did family stuff with the 3 of us as well as with each of our family... We started WORKING ON THINGS
The two months before when I decided I was going to DO this, I changed my cell number and blocked anyone that could be a hazard to my marriage. My friend that I talked to from the beginning, I cut him off completely. We still were JUST friends. I told him I wanted my marriage to work and I'd need to loose him and it was ok with him.
If I'm drinking, I don't make the best decisions. So i don't do it. My husband is 24 hours driving distance away from me. He will call maybe twice a day and he's usually busy or dosing off to sleep. I swallowed that.
He goes out to dinner w his co workers for 3 hours and refusing any contact with me during that IMPORTANT time. Last week he WAS texting me during, mad about having to stay in contact w me... Being hateful. I woke up w no further messages from him. So curious me, "if he's not talking to me, who IS he talking to" I checked his phone bill and SHE had wrote him, and he wrote he back then she wrote again twice. I called as soon as I found that out and he apologized for being so hateful... He admitted to talking to her and blamed it on the alcohol. We both have iphones so i requested a screenshot of the convo... He stopped talking to me for the entire day. I texted her and asked if shed please quit contacting him & she turned around and texted him anyways. A screen shot of what i had just wrote her.... Or thats what he said! I informed him we really shouldnt drink without each other bc of our poor decision making. I forgave him...
Last Saturday I had a wedding party with my gf. Talked to him at 5pm, and then he never called or texted or checked on me until he woke up at 8am the next morning and he had got wasted. 24 hours away from me.... Set really wrong with me. Getting ready for church on mothers day and THiS!
I've sent life changing scriptures to him. I've showed him how we are working and how we're about to not be. He informed me that all his emotions arent going to just go back, that he wants his family but he wint be putting in the 110% that I was going to have to settle with what I was getting from him or move on. I showed him how to be a man of god and how he isn't honoring me as his wife. (although that's not me being a submissive wife, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO) I sent him videos and everything he'd need to see he's going the wrong way. He told me that all this was the way I wanted him to live, and that there are a lot of walks with God. True. But My God, there is one. & it's HIS way or the wrong way....
I do not want to get a divorce because it's a sin. I am trying so hard to fight for this. Maybe its a trial sent by God. I want to be a woman of god, and to have everlasting life with him. I want to do all I do for My God! I want my husband to do it too. We both have messed up our marriage, I've been saved and I'm working on my life living by the book. He is a believer but he lacks knowledge and hes slapping it like a fly every time I try to give him knowledge.
He's abandoned our marriage at this point and in Gods eyes that's grounds for divorce....
He tried to ask me about my day today out of no where, trying to brush THIS under the rug like he did when he talked to the girl that he slept w while we were married... I simply asked, so that we could move on, if he'd try to care & if he please wouldn't do the things he knew bothered me out of honor. I never heard back from him & that was about 3pm.
Do I leave? Give up and let him fight on his own. Never do I know when he's just going to give up on me again... He says he's forgiven me but we could actually move on if he had....
Do I stay and no matter how exhausted, lonely, depressed, upset, angry, hurt, I get... I'm doing this for my family & obeying my God....
If you have the answer, PLEASE, tell me what it is. I need a direction to go in....
