current child situation :/

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zaoman32

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So my ex-wife and I are officially divorced, she technically has custody, but I get a decent amount of time with my kids considering that. Every other weekend, and twice a week. The problem is this, at first I was ok with it, and it wasn't a huge deal when the kids left, but as time has gone by I keep finding it getting harder and harder. I was saying goodnight to my kids the other night and realized, I really didn't want them to leave...ever. I was really dreading saying goodbye to them this evening. And even though they were being a little to crazy for my liking tonight, I hated seeing them leave and just wish they were back here. Like I said this just keeps getting harder and harder to say goodbye to them whenever they come over. I don't know if I need prayer for peace or what. Just something to make things a little easier I guess.
 
my heart breaks for you cuz u can clearly see in the way u write that u love ur kiddos. I'm gonna pray that when u are in sadness that god comfort u. that u continue to be the man and father they need u to be. but most of all that god expects u to be. god bless
 
Zaoman, sounds like you really love your kids, and that's great! (*If you have desires in your heart, God will fulfill them.)
In the bible, God says, "all things are possible to him who believes [repeatedly; long-term; Mark 9:23]. Use self-discipline and instead of saying goodbye [sadness...] say, "See you later" (more accurate, and mutually encouraging). (Prior to this check with your kids on their prayer requests. Then you can also say, "I'll be praying for you" which, they would appreciate (start a prayer book for each. You could "remarry" your ex-wife? Prior to that, perhaps if she read "His Needs, Her Needs" by Willard Harley (Christian marriage counselor) you could help transition her to [perhaps?] being selfish and causing divorces. Best wishes.
 
maybe you could make amends with your wife, and have them back for good?
 
It's great that you love your kids! Here's some tips you can try if you like :)

1. Say, "See you later" (more positive; encouraging; accurate)
2. Start prayer book for each child -- and pray for their requests daily -- aids in you feeling connected during the temporary abscence.
3. Remarry your ex? (hideous proposition???) Send her "His Needs, Her Needs", by Willard Harley. This would be pre-emptive action so she doesn't selfishly (?) destroy her 2nd marriage?
4. God bless ya'll.
 
The overriding factor here is that you really don't have any other choice. Keep that in mind, and like dervroom said it's not goodbye but see you later. Find something to do when they're with mom, and make the next get together your primary focus. Maybe start a game, and every time they visit you all take one turn, so you have the anticipation of taking the next turn again with their next visit. "I'm going to roll a six on you next time Johnny, so be good to your mom until then" should be the attitude. You don't want to be the off balance ex husband at this point, you want to be the cool dad who stepped up and made it easy. You want to be the guy who makes your ex wife pause and think wow did I just screw up?
 
I cannot begin to say how blessed your children are to have a loving father.
My father left us and although had visiting rights, never cared to use them.
As a child of this, I know how great a gift you are giving to your children by loving them aand careing for them.
I know the situation is difficult, but the greatest work of love you can give them is to trust in Jesus, and be the streangth they need in this shared care.
For it is your love, confidence and streangth that will sustain them, and bring them the love and sercurity they need.
I know it must be so difficult for you, but believe me, it is even more for them, and your loving confidence will help them to feel secure.
The loveing streangth you show to them, and your ex, will sustain them for life.
You, your children and your ex are in my daily prayers in Jesus for all streangth and the love of Jesus needed.

Thankyou for being such a wonderful dad to them, when I see this kind of fatherly love, it brings a bit of peace to the past that had been so difficult for me. :)

God bless :)
pickles
 
There is no chance of my ex and I ever getting back together again. Part of that may still be some hurt, but I think more likely it is just based on guarding my heart and my kids hearts. I spent over 7 years with my ex-wife, and I know who she is, and I just know for a fact if we were to get back together again there would be absolutely no change, plus our kids were absolutely miserable when we were together, so it was just a toxic environment for them too.

My ex-wife has a boyfriend living with her right now and I'm really praying for them both that the Holy Spirit would just fill their home, and strengthen their relationship because our kids don't need to go through another situation like one they already experienced, so I would appreciate prayer for that as well.
 
zaoman32 said:
There is no chance of my ex and I ever getting back together again. Part of that may still be some hurt, but I think more likely it is just based on guarding my heart and my kids hearts. I spent over 7 years with my ex-wife, and I know who she is, and I just know for a fact if we were to get back together again there would be absolutely no change, plus our kids were absolutely miserable when we were together, so it was just a toxic environment for them too.

My ex-wife has a boyfriend living with her right now and I'm really praying for them both that the Holy Spirit would just fill their home, and strengthen their relationship because our kids don't need to go through another situation like one they already experienced, so I would appreciate prayer for that as well.
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Zoaman... friend... those are NOT biblical prayers at all. It is not biblical to pray for a sinful relationship to be blessed by God. You can pray for protection of your children's minds and hearts. I would encourage you to pray that God make a way to bring your children home to you and give you 100% custody... but there are some requisite thinking changes on our part for that to happen... (like above mentioned). I am asking GOd to show you His will for this situation as you prayerfully revisit how the current scenario is. I comment you for being a father who is involved with his children... let's get those babies back in a christian home. :)
 
Zoaman, bless you for praying for your exwife and her new partner. Its our job to bless! Also, bless you for putting your kids above all else. keep praying for the adults in their life, and being a consistant adult yourself - and they will experience less trauma in their own healing. I will keep them up in prayer!:D
 
As one going through hurt,though my kids are with me 24/7...I am hurting that my ex has moved beyond reconcilliation...LOVE your little ones when they r there...pray when they r not...and ask God for the faith to trust HIM to look after the kidlets when u r not there. Your ABBA Daddy is able!AND He is able to bring you peace!
 
zaoman32 said:
My ex-wife has a boyfriend living with her right now and I'm really praying for them both that the Holy Spirit would just fill their home, and strengthen their relationship because our kids don't need to go through another situation like one they already experienced, so I would appreciate prayer for that as well.
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Zaoman, you win the big heart/open mind award for the day. It may not be scriptural to pray that way, but God honors a humble and giving heart like yours. May God's blessing be upon you and yours!
 
zaoman32 said:
So my ex-wife and I are officially divorced, she technically has custody, but I get a decent amount of time with my kids considering that. Every other weekend, and twice a week. The problem is this, at first I was ok with it, and it wasn't a huge deal when the kids left, but as time has gone by I keep finding it getting harder and harder. I was saying goodnight to my kids the other night and realized, I really didn't want them to leave...ever. I was really dreading saying goodbye to them this evening. And even though they were being a little to crazy for my liking tonight, I hated seeing them leave and just wish they were back here. Like I said this just keeps getting harder and harder to say goodbye to them whenever they come over. I don't know if I need prayer for peace or what. Just something to make things a little easier I guess.
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OOO Lord Jesus my heart feels his hurt so i come with him in my heart i present with my brother his hurt his need precious Jesus take his heart and soul and give him your strenght so that he rests in you with your perfect comfort help him give your children you gave to him back to you with, comfort him with the gift of faith from your Holy Spirit that you are perfect for them all and faithful to bring them all to their home in heaven with you forever.
 
MAY JESUS BRING PEACE AND REST OF SOUL AND A NEW BEGINNING.
 

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