Dad and Alcohol, Smoking, and Caffeine.
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Well, if I do something that’s probably not right, it doesn’t make sense to do nothing about it in my opinion (not that my opinion is scripture haha).
I don’t think I’m referring to my father here, but wouldn’t you say to some extent there are certain scenarios in which helping someone who is doing bad stuff is a good idea? I know this doesn’t apply to my Dad, but what about someone you’re very close with and they’re also a follower of Jesus but they’re in an adulterous relationship?
I don’t think I’m referring to my father here, but wouldn’t you say to some extent there are certain scenarios in which helping someone who is doing bad stuff is a good idea? I know this doesn’t apply to my Dad, but what about someone you’re very close with and they’re also a follower of Jesus but they’re in an adulterous relationship?
forgiveness isnt doing nothing
we need to forgive SO we can not sin anymore
Kindness leads to repentence not the other way round. if you read the parable about the woman caught in adultery see what Jesus did.
another occasion was a lame man that he healed and people asked why Jesus said he was forgiven. Jesus said it what is easier to forgive or to heal?
People need to know they are forgiven before they do anything and so they can then do the right thing.
we need to forgive SO we can not sin anymore
Kindness leads to repentence not the other way round. if you read the parable about the woman caught in adultery see what Jesus did.
another occasion was a lame man that he healed and people asked why Jesus said he was forgiven. Jesus said it what is easier to forgive or to heal?
People need to know they are forgiven before they do anything and so they can then do the right thing.
well... I guess that was the intention, covert him to believing in Christ that is. I mean you say you struggle to explain the gospel but have tried, I can't see the difference in telling him audibly and giving him a tiny little leaflet, that says it for you in plain simple terms.
If it is a long winded lecture, then yeah I can see that would be off putting. If it is trying to convince him to go to one particular church, or sign on the dotted line type of thing, or a repeat after me sheet, I don't think I would advise it. But there is no shame in him thinking you want to tell him about Jesus. I mean you said you tried to tell him but didn't know how to put it across - sorry if I am missing the point here.
If it is a long winded lecture, then yeah I can see that would be off putting. If it is trying to convince him to go to one particular church, or sign on the dotted line type of thing, or a repeat after me sheet, I don't think I would advise it. But there is no shame in him thinking you want to tell him about Jesus. I mean you said you tried to tell him but didn't know how to put it across - sorry if I am missing the point here.
basically...what Im getting at is if you can forgive others, then Father will also forgive you in heaven, but if you cant, then He wont either.
If you cant forgive your Dad but instead just want to point out what he is doing wrong all the time, then thats not being a christian or loving to your Dad, even though he is an unbeliever.
You also need to forgive yourself for things you did wrong in the past, when you didnt know or hadnt yet learned righteousness.
aside from that...I think we got on to this topic because smoking and drug taking are due to stress in our lives and possibly wanting to forget or ease the pain or whatever. So you need to go a bit deeper rather than just say to your dad you want a smoke free household and he should just quit immediately.
If you cant forgive your Dad but instead just want to point out what he is doing wrong all the time, then thats not being a christian or loving to your Dad, even though he is an unbeliever.
You also need to forgive yourself for things you did wrong in the past, when you didnt know or hadnt yet learned righteousness.
aside from that...I think we got on to this topic because smoking and drug taking are due to stress in our lives and possibly wanting to forget or ease the pain or whatever. So you need to go a bit deeper rather than just say to your dad you want a smoke free household and he should just quit immediately.
I mean if your dad WANTS to quit then thats cool and you can help and encourage him.
But if hes not ready to there isnt much you can do. This is why there are groups like al-anon because family members have tried to intervene without any success.
I recall a workmate was always smoking and I didnt like it. I wouldnt get into the ute with him if he was smoking. One day he said he was going to quit and he wanted me to hold him accountable. thing seemed to be going fine until one day he went for break he said he was going to the bathroom but really he went to buy cigarettes. and I was like what. Than he got all angry with me. Cos I caught him out.
But I just told him YOU SAID you wanted to quit.
I dont know if he quit for good as left that job but maybe it gave him some hope I dont know. He once asked me to pray for him as he wasnt a christian and didnt know how. He was open to hearing the gospel but I think for it to 'take' your heart needs to be ready to receive. and from what I observe it comes down to 'will I be forgiven' ?
But if hes not ready to there isnt much you can do. This is why there are groups like al-anon because family members have tried to intervene without any success.
I recall a workmate was always smoking and I didnt like it. I wouldnt get into the ute with him if he was smoking. One day he said he was going to quit and he wanted me to hold him accountable. thing seemed to be going fine until one day he went for break he said he was going to the bathroom but really he went to buy cigarettes. and I was like what. Than he got all angry with me. Cos I caught him out.
But I just told him YOU SAID you wanted to quit.
I dont know if he quit for good as left that job but maybe it gave him some hope I dont know. He once asked me to pray for him as he wasnt a christian and didnt know how. He was open to hearing the gospel but I think for it to 'take' your heart needs to be ready to receive. and from what I observe it comes down to 'will I be forgiven' ?
Hmm, I just relooked at it, and you have an interesting post.
My parents seem to want me to “worry” about only three things: getting enough sleep, eating normally, and schoolwork (to get a good edge on college expenses)
In Vietnamese, “suy nghĩ” can mean like, to ponder, to think deeply on.
Basically my mom (and most definitely most likely my Dad as well) doesn’t want me to “suy nghĩ” on heavy stuff like morality, religious texts, etc.
For my mother I think she wants me to stay close to her culture (regarding Buddhism, my family isn’t strictly religious, it’s more of a cultural attachment kind of thing) but also wants for me to focus on school.
For my father, I don’t think he’s aware of my practicing of Christian activities nowadays, but based on past experience, I think it’s at least primary just the school stuff. A few years ago I remember his position was that once I graduate college, I can do whatever I want.
Now what’s my main point here? I doubt the morality route (in terms of discussion) is the right way to go, but thank you for the post regardless, it’s given me some food for thought anyway.
My parents seem to want me to “worry” about only three things: getting enough sleep, eating normally, and schoolwork (to get a good edge on college expenses)
In Vietnamese, “suy nghĩ” can mean like, to ponder, to think deeply on.
Basically my mom (and most definitely most likely my Dad as well) doesn’t want me to “suy nghĩ” on heavy stuff like morality, religious texts, etc.
For my mother I think she wants me to stay close to her culture (regarding Buddhism, my family isn’t strictly religious, it’s more of a cultural attachment kind of thing) but also wants for me to focus on school.
For my father, I don’t think he’s aware of my practicing of Christian activities nowadays, but based on past experience, I think it’s at least primary just the school stuff. A few years ago I remember his position was that once I graduate college, I can do whatever I want.
Now what’s my main point here? I doubt the morality route (in terms of discussion) is the right way to go, but thank you for the post regardless, it’s given me some food for thought anyway.
Hmm, I just relooked at it, and you have an interesting post.
My parents seem to want me to “worry” about only three things: getting enough sleep, eating normally, and schoolwork.
In Vietnamese, “suy nghĩ” can mean like, to ponder, to think deeply on.
Basically my mom (and most definitely most likely my Dad as well) doesn’t want me to “suy nghĩ” on heavy stuff like morality, religious texts, etc.
For my mother I think she wants me to stay close to her culture (regarding Buddhism, my family isn’t strictly religious, it’s more of a cultural attachment kind of thing) but also wants for me to focus on school.
For my father, I don’t think he’s aware of my practicing of Christian activities nowadays, but based on past experience, I think it’s at least primary just the school stuff. A few years ago I remember his position was that once I graduate college, I can do whatever I want.
Now what’s my main point here? Basically, parents want me to
Actually, regarding my last reply, I think I may have misread your post, but I still have a good amount of doubt about it.
My parents seem to want me to “worry” about only three things: getting enough sleep, eating normally, and schoolwork.
In Vietnamese, “suy nghĩ” can mean like, to ponder, to think deeply on.
Basically my mom (and most definitely most likely my Dad as well) doesn’t want me to “suy nghĩ” on heavy stuff like morality, religious texts, etc.
For my mother I think she wants me to stay close to her culture (regarding Buddhism, my family isn’t strictly religious, it’s more of a cultural attachment kind of thing) but also wants for me to focus on school.
For my father, I don’t think he’s aware of my practicing of Christian activities nowadays, but based on past experience, I think it’s at least primary just the school stuff. A few years ago I remember his position was that once I graduate college, I can do whatever I want.
Now what’s my main point here? Basically, parents want me to
Actually, regarding my last reply, I think I may have misread your post, but I still have a good amount of doubt about it.
Oh it's fine. Some people rarely talk to their parents on a deeper level and so anything to sort of bring up heavier topics is definitely something you gotta feel out.
Caffeine, nicotine, and drinking all sort of work together to be hard on the body but good diet and exercise if someone is determined is about all you can really do until the health problems start to show themselves AND of course keep praying and keeping your eyes open for an opportunity that may (or may not) present itself for you personally to do anything.
Each of these are also quite habitual and hard to stop and they aren't considered "that bad" by people doing them when done moderately. It's the long term that's the game changer and something to be cognizant of.
Take care.
Caffeine, nicotine, and drinking all sort of work together to be hard on the body but good diet and exercise if someone is determined is about all you can really do until the health problems start to show themselves AND of course keep praying and keeping your eyes open for an opportunity that may (or may not) present itself for you personally to do anything.
Each of these are also quite habitual and hard to stop and they aren't considered "that bad" by people doing them when done moderately. It's the long term that's the game changer and something to be cognizant of.
Take care.
Should I ask him how much caffeine and alcohol he consumes and also how much he smokes? If anything I think it’s case where he’s doing the smoking too much maybe, and when it comes to caffeine, alcohol, and smoking, I think his urinologist wants him to stop (or something like that) with the caffeine and alcohol and his family doctor wants him to stop with the smoking probably.